psycho's Things

TLDR at bottom
Basically during freshman year, there was this junior in my class that I really liked. Because of the pandemic, I wasn't able to get any of his details other than his name. this year he is now a senior. obviously a problem as he is gonna graduate soon. Thing is my high school is on a hybrid schedule, I'm day 2 and I don't even know what day he is, I'm not even sure if he's actually going to school and is doing online instead. During the pandemic I was able to find his messenger but I didn't do anything bc I was scared at the time. Now I think I'm ready but what a coincidence, his messenger profiles deleted (or private) ( ￣へ￣ ). Literally only other way I can think of contacting him is messaging him through our school emails. Ik how dumb and stupid and cringey that is and what a weirdo id be doing that, but man I really like this guy. I need some advice idk what to do, its getting close to the end of the year which means when he graduates as a senior, his school account will forever be closed.
TLDR: I really like this guy but I only have one desperate means of reaching him, what should I do ?? Also hearing what y'all would do will be helpful as well (▰˘◡˘▰)

TLDR at the bottom
Ok first of all just to point out, I’d always have these little arguments about his caringness towards our friendship, or simply what felt like a lack of care. Sometimes I’d feel like he didn’t care, but part of me felt like I’d stir something up just because I want a reaction out of it, something that’d make me feel special or something that’d justified our friendship. But the final straw was last year. Last year instead of his caringness that I felt like was a problem, this time I felt like how much effort he gave into our friendship was a problem. Then again, in the back of my head I feel like am I doing this because I want him to say something that’d make me feel wanted by him? One night we had one of these arguments and it ended with him saying I was the negativity. I didn’t think much of it then but afterwards, and how he probably was right. So as an impulsive response, I said bye without knowing what I just did. He said the same. Some months go by and everyday I missed him. Getting some of my friends advice I would text him wanting closure or something like that. I don’t really remember the texts but one thing for sure I remember was telling him I was gay for him and had a crush for him a while now. I thought my confession would justify my actions and he would understand. I would never know though. I ended the conversation asking if we can talk the next day irl. I waited the whole week because of how shy I was. But once I asked him he just said he’s leaving and left. I felt low and gave up. That was the last time we talked. It’d been 7 or 8 months since then and I still miss him. Idk why but rn I don’t want him back as my crush but as a friend. And I don’t know how to do it. I don’t even know how he’d even feel.

TLDR: I’m missing my friend that I had a crush on but the thing is we ended our friendship a while ago.
Any advice would help. And feel free to ask questions. It’s my first time asking advice like this (⌒▽⌒)