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lexa January 8, 2021 5:02 pm

Okay I was expecting the bullying and what not but uhm......I was not expecting it to get THAT dark that quickly, guess I should of looked at the tags first lmao ╮( ̄▽ ̄)╭
But damn I'm hooked!!! I can already tell this is gonna be fucking good, I can not wait to see what kind of revenge Uruma has in store for that sick psychopath Kyou.

lexa January 7, 2021 4:44 pm

I'll be posting the spoilers for volume 4 here so if you don't want to be spoiled don't continue reading this.









So we start off vol. 4 where we left off in vol. 3 with Sudo, Kikuchi, and Shintani in the hotel room.

* Kikuchi's phone starts ringing and Sudo tells Kikuchi that he'll answer the call and put it on speaker, and so he does.
* It's Saji, he tells Kikuchi the plan again of killing Yoshitsugu and making sure he'll go through with it but he noticed Kikuchi's voice sounds weird and then Sudo ends the call.
* Sudo asks Kikuchi if Saji set him up to kill Yoshitsugu to which Kikuchi nods his head, this angers Sudo and attempts to shoot Kikuchi but misses. He then leaves.
* The bullet ends up hitting the drawer and splinters off, cutting Shintani on the shoulder.
* Shintani then tells Kikuchi that he will go after Sudo.
* Then we cut to the hospital, where Yoshitsugu is getting ready to leave but then spots Sudo about ready to shoot him. He does but (again) missing him, and the Shintani shows up and him and Sudo basically run off together.
* Sudo then tells him that Miyuki is at a warehouse. Shintani than calls Kikuchi and tells him where Miyuki is and to go save her.
* He also tells Kikuchi that after he saves Miyuki to have them both hide out at his grandparents house. Kikuchi agrees to do so.
* At this point, Shintani decides to stay with Sudo because he needs help (getting off the drugs) and doesn't want to leave him alone.
* He takes Sudo to Ashida's place because he's now sick from withdraws. Ashida gives him an IV and then Shintani asks him about Sudo's past.
* We learn that Sudo had a really rough upbringing.
* Both he and his mother were being physically abused/beaten by his father.
* Also Sudo was being molested by this older guy and getting paid for it.
* His mom was cheating on his father with this guy who gets into a fight with this other guy who we find out is Yoshitsugu.
* Sudo ends up witnessing this whole fight and Yoshitsugu notices him and confronts his mother, saying how shameful it is of her to have to her child see this, and calls her an idiot.
* Eventually his mother and the chairman end up having an affair to which Sudo finds out by peeking in on them in the act.
* The chairman knows that Sudo and his mother are being abused.
* He tells the mother to leave the father but she refuses.
* The chairman then decides to take matters into his own hands and kills the father.
* This upsets Sudo's mother so much that she yells at Yoshitsugu to "bring him back"
* With his mother being so depressed she ends up hanging herself.
* Now we cut to the present, Sudo wakes up from his overdose (yes he overdosed) with Shintani sleeping in the bed next to him.
* Ashida asks him how he's feeling and makes him some tea.
* Shintani then wakes up and both of them leave Ashida's place.
* Shintani tells Sudo that he doesn't want to leave and asks him where he wants to go.
* Shintani then calls his grandparents to check on Kikuchi and Miyuki to make sure they're safe, to which they are.
* After the phone call, Sudo asks him how Miyuki is doing, if she's okay, again to which they are.
* So after this both Shintani and Sudo end up going to a hotel ( -____- )
* They talk and what not, Sudo bringing up his past and explaining what happened after his mother died.
* When he was 16, he got a job at a factory where he ended up prostituting himself and low and behold who did he end up meeting again? Yoshitsugu
* Sudo calls this a "fated reunion"
* Yoshitsugu took Sudo in his care and they both start this weird relationship.
* Sudo comes on to Yoshitsugu acting like his mother, or rather, being a replacement for his mother but Yoshitsugu turns him down telling him to stop.
* However according to Sudo, Yoshitsugu would "caress him gently" but never once slept with him.
* Shintani then hugs Sudo, embracing him.
* And of course, the two end up having sex but it's not like the other times they had sex where it was rough, it's GENTLE sex, and Sudo tells Shintani that he knows he isn't no match for Kikuchi but he still loves him.

So that's the end of vol. 4
Personally I don't know what to make of this situation with Shintani and Sudo, I mean I saw the sex between them coming and with Sudo admitting his feelings towards Shintani didn't surprise me but I'm having a hard time understanding Shintani in this situation. Like what is he thinking? Also he is thinking about Kikuchi in all this? I guess he feels pity maybe towards Sudo and that's why he did what he did with him?? Idk I guess we'll have to see what happen in the next volume.

    chise.minami January 7, 2021 6:58 pm

    Same here, I can understand Shintani, I don't get what he's thinking, he's all over the place.
    Was he missing Kikuchi and used Sudo while conforting him ? Does he actually like Sudo ? Does he like both ? Where is he planning to go with Sudo ?
    So much question but no clues

    Anyway, I'm rooting for Kikuchi and I hope they're meeting again in the next volume, I holding onto that promise to comeback to Kikuchi he made when leaving with Sudo.

    lexa January 7, 2021 7:51 pm
    Same here, I can understand Shintani, I don't get what he's thinking, he's all over the place. Was he missing Kikuchi and used Sudo while conforting him ? Does he actually like Sudo ? Does he like both ? Where ... chise.minami

    Agreed, I'm hoping Shintani will hold true to his promise as well.
    The more I try to understand where Shintani's head is at in this situation, the more I think back to vol.3 ch.15 when Sudo said Shintani loves when they're (Sudo and Kikuchi) being pitiful, not for who they actually are. He relies on them being pitiful and the more he sympathizes with them, the more he'll want them.
    Although I know these were Sudo's words and not Shintani's, I feel like what Sudo said is true and reflects what kind of person Shintani is.
    I could be looking at this all wrong and once we get to vol.5 perhaps I'll change my mind on this topic but right now I think Shintani does love Kikuchi and (maybe?) Sudo.
    I'm hoping with this next volume it will be told from Shintani's perspective and get a clear answer to where he stands in all this.

    Also I'm really worried about Kikuchi, if he will find out or not what has happened between Shintani and Sudo and if he does what that will do to him.

    UGH so many questions >.<

    janeee January 9, 2021 5:29 am

    This really hurts. Im starting to hate sex now

    lexa January 9, 2021 5:20 pm
    This really hurts. Im starting to hate sex now janeee

    Honestly that scene in the hotel room with the three of them was disgusting imo, I hated it. Knowing what Shintani did was probably heart breaking to Kikuchi and that's what hurt for me.

    chise.minami January 9, 2021 11:41 pm
    Honestly that scene in the hotel room with the three of them was disgusting imo, I hated it. Knowing what Shintani did was probably heart breaking to Kikuchi and that's what hurt for me. lexa

    Oh my god, that scene... I hated it too. I understood how Shintani wanted to save his sister but he was just heartless in the way he talked and with how he easily went along with Sudo. I feel like that scene just portrayed how selfish Sudo and Shintani are. Sudo for taking his pain on other and Shintani for feeding his ego as a savior by appearing somehow unapologetic (well he apologived if I remember correctly but it felt shallow compared to Kikuchi's state in that situation) to what he did with Sudo cause obviously he did it since the guy is pitiful so that's ok.
    (I feel like my english got messy here excuse that, so much feeling from remembering that scene)

    Manzana January 10, 2021 1:20 am

    This vol has left a bitter taste in my mouth ╥﹏╥
    Kikuchi deserves someone who truly loves him, I don't trust Shintani anymore.

    janeee January 10, 2021 2:57 am
    This vol has left a bitter taste in my mouth ╥﹏╥Kikuchi deserves someone who truly loves him, I don't trust Shintani anymore. Manzana

    Me too i dun know what’s running on his mind. I think sudo is right about him. He got turned on when someone is pitiful

    janeee January 10, 2021 3:00 am
    Honestly that scene in the hotel room with the three of them was disgusting imo, I hated it. Knowing what Shintani did was probably heart breaking to Kikuchi and that's what hurt for me. lexa

    Bruh it hurts me every time sudo and shintani having sex. I hate seeing kikuchi crying he deserves someone better than shintani, someone who wouldn’t hurt him and adores him huhu

    rat January 10, 2021 1:19 pm
    Bruh it hurts me every time sudo and shintani having sex. I hate seeing kikuchi crying he deserves someone better than shintani, someone who wouldn’t hurt him and adores him huhu janeee

    right! hopefully he ends up with someone better or at least gets his happy ending but F shintani ┗( T﹏T )┛

    nugget123 February 1, 2021 8:42 am

    OMG fk shintani for real man. i swear i thiught he could be trusted. pos!!! im so upset. kikuchi needs to be protected, shintani and sudo can fk off into oblivion together.

    and no amount of backstory can make me sympathise with sudo. these two were made for each other just leave kikuchi alone!!!

    Fugoshit May 13, 2021 12:13 pm

    Will there be a volume 5? ┗( T﹏T )┛

    lexa May 13, 2021 1:40 pm
    Will there be a volume 5? ┗( T﹏T )┛ Fugoshit

    Vol. 5 hasn't been confirmed but the last chapter ended with "to be continued' so (most likely) there will be a Vol. 5

    nugget123 May 13, 2021 3:37 pm
    Will there be a volume 5? ┗( T﹏T )┛ Fugoshit

    btw, you can read everything on f u t e k i y a :)

    Fugoshit May 13, 2021 5:23 pm

    Thank you y'all! (/TДT)/

lexa December 23, 2020 8:22 pm

Now I'm gonna be reminded of this every time I hear itadakimasu

    yEet December 27, 2020 8:43 am

    ITADAKIMASUUUUUU

lexa December 22, 2020 10:07 pm

I really pray that Color Recipe and some of Harada's other mangas get an official English license, just like Yatamomo.
Would be even better if we saw a physical English copy cause my ass would buy that shit in a heartbeat (≧∀≦)

lexa December 13, 2020 2:56 am

This has honestly got to be one of THE best yaoi/bl mangas I've ever read. I can not get enough of this masterpiece! It is sooooo fucking good!!! This story was so beautifully told and I couldn't believe how realistic it felt.
I think everyone can relate to Taichi or Naoto in some way or another. Hell even Nishina too. The jealousy, I personally can relate too 100%. Especially when it comes to your ex. Seeing their relationship grow over the years and watching them deal with their struggles of feeling insecure, learning how to truly love each other and knowing what 'being together forever' truly means was fun, exciting and even heartwarming to see at times but also really sad as well. The rape was heartbreaking. Seeing Naoto cry like that made me cry. I had a hard time getting past that, I mean I know Taichi apologized to Naoto and he accepted his apology but for Naoto to apologize to Taichi like HE did something wrong? Ugh I was so annoyed by that but I know this is simply a work of fiction so I guess I can't get too worked up about it.
In the end though I'm glad they worked things out and decided to not care about what other people think of them being together. It was honestly really beautiful seeing their 'escape journey'. I really loved it. I think if you really do love someone as much as these two do then I guess nothing else really does matters, as long as you have that someone who will stay by your side even through the worse of times, everything will be okay.

Btw is it too greedy of me to ask to wanna see more of these two? Because I want more lol

lexa December 6, 2020 6:11 pm

OMG the look on Tachihara's face when Mori placed this hat on him like surprise bitch I got you

lexa December 3, 2020 7:26 pm

Ah this is so cute!! I only finished the first volume and I already love it (▰˘◡˘▰)
But uhm quick question!
Does this have an official English translation or no? I looked online to see if I could find if it has an English license but sadly no luck. So I'm guessing there isn't one but I just want to make sure because if there is I really would like to support the author. If anyone knows for sure would you kindly let me know, I'd really appreciate it!!

    Teiler December 7, 2020 10:51 pm

    The mangaka’s other work is being translated by viz at the moment l with 10 or so volumes out in English at the moment, so I’d imagine that the chance of getting an official English translation of this is very likely to happen at some point. As of right now there doesn’t seem to be one

    lexa December 8, 2020 12:41 am
    The mangaka’s other work is being translated by viz at the moment l with 10 or so volumes out in English at the moment, so I’d imagine that the chance of getting an official English translation of this is v... Teiler

    Yeah I kept looking online everywhere I could but sadly couldn't find an English translation so I came to the conclusion there wasn't one. :/
    But I was aware that the mangaka's other works were being translated so hopefully we do see an official translation in the future, fingers crossed.
    Thanks for letting me know though, I appreciate it!! ^.^

lexa November 30, 2020 1:56 am

Okay so this is probably 5th or 6th time reading this and I noticed something that I didn't before and it's confusing me. Why does Kuze address Atsumu by first name basis and not the other way around? Atsumu never addresses Kuze by his first name. I know it's not a big deal but idk I just thought it was weird. Maybe I missed something??

lexa November 28, 2020 11:57 pm

Idk if it's just me but the more and more I look at Hotaru the more I think he looks like Ciel from Kuroshitsuji lmao

lexa November 25, 2020 7:49 pm

So I've been wanting to read this manga for a while. Usually when I choose to read a manga I like to go in open minded with no spoilers but seeing some of comments uhm I wondering if I should just skip this? Like is it that bad? Are the characters not likable, is the plot dumb, or is it just bad story telling??

    Daisuke Kambe November 25, 2020 7:57 pm

    Uhm read it

    Andrya_Tati November 25, 2020 10:24 pm

    Well I'm gonna be honest with you, I started reading this manga at quite some time ago. At first I kinda liked the story but it developed completley different from what I thought (I honestly thought the main guy would just stick with "the main girl" and separate from the others ( ̄∇ ̄")).
    After some chapters the story just stoped developing and I don't really liked this back and foward situation so I just stopped reading it maybe 2 or 3 months ago. Today I received the notification that a new chapter had been uploaded so I decided to take a look at it and see where we're at. Big surprise nothing much had changed I feel like the "main girl" I mentioned just lost her initial "essence".
    Of course, this is just my opinion, if you think it might be interesting there's nothing like seeing it for yourself.
    Hope I was of any help! (⌒▽⌒)

    lexa November 25, 2020 11:58 pm
    Well I'm gonna be honest with you, I started reading this manga at quite some time ago. At first I kinda liked the story but it developed completley different from what I thought (I honestly thought the main gu... Andrya_Tati

    Omg yes this is so helpful, thank you!!! (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ I really want to give this manga a shot but seeing what ppl have to say about it, I'm not so sure anymore. I don't want to invest all my time into a manga with almost 200 chapters and have little to no character development or have the ending be one of 'those endings' you know where you're like 'uh that's it?' and just be disappointed in the end. Well thanks again for your input!
    *sigh* I guess I gotta give this a pass lol ╮( ̄▽ ̄)╭

    Andrya_Tati November 26, 2020 10:37 pm
    Omg yes this is so helpful, thank you!!! (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ I really want to give this manga a shot but seeing what ppl have to say about it, I'm not so sure anymore. I don't want to invest all my time into a ma... lexa

    No problem, glad I could help!! (▰˘◡˘▰)
    I believe you won't regret it

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