This hit me. About 10 years ago my older brother past away, I got so sad and started to have problems with my yunger brothers and got very antisotial, and honestly I can't remember very well that year, and allmost commited suicide. Thanks to my friends I got back up, but I still fell scared that I can't remember.
http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/yoru_to_asa_no_uta/ Literally the first Yaoi manga I ever read. It scarred me for life
If it feels good is it considered rape?
The way the body responds to sexual stimulation and the way you yourself respond are two different things. It might "feel" good but if you didn't personally tell the perosn you wanted to have sex with them its rape. They can't know what you wanted if you don't say it and they shouldn't take how available your body is at the current moment as a concent sign.
let me copy-paste the comment i found:
aDDictedToYaoi: "Rape, used as an essential plot device, serves the purpose of bringing the two characters together in a romantic relationship. Rape functions as the catalyst for romance, speeding up the process of falling in love while providing explicit sexual scenes to arouse and pleasure the viewer. Because sex is the plot in yaoi , unnecessarily long relationship developments are eliminated. However vulgar rape may seem, it efficiently creates sex and romance in yaoi . Once the two characters are together and the feelings are mutual, there ceases to be a plot-based need for “rape as an expression of love” between the seme and uke and the sex thereafter is entirely consensual."
source: http://www.academia.edu/3993473/The_Prevalence_of_Rape_and_Child_Pornography_in_Yaoi
ლ(´ڡ`ლ)