Kisa-chan

Hello kisa chan read your one shot and it was a nice read, beautifully written and sexy I am confused about some things should I msg you about it?

It was really skilfully written. The only thing that bothered me was your constant jumping between present and past tense. It did not, however demerit the story in any form.The ending was good but personally I feel like it was missing something.
But over all a smooth and good read.:)

Awww thank you for reading it!!! It means a lot to me when people take time to read my work. And yep sure we can talk about it in private hahaha ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶

Hahaha thank youuu!!! I will work on my 'verb issues' lolol. Actually, i am having a lil trouble when to use past and present tenses sooo yep. ╮(￣▽￣)╭ really I appreciate dat u read and criticize my work. It is helpful for me in improving my writing skills haha. Hmm would u mind telling me wat u think was missing?? I am curious hahaha.

You're welcome :)
It's actually quite common to lose track of what tense one was using especially when one moves back and forth past (or future) and present events.
Best of luck with your future works!
I was actually worried that I might've come off as rude but glad I didn't xp
As for the ending, it was an inner feeling that I wanted to know a little more on the black dressed person's background, reason or just some little detail catering to their importance as the second main character in the story. It felt like a random dude just coming out of nowhere and declaring their burning love. Maybe an insight of how they met the main chara or what is it that they deeply desire despite being turned down and so.....but maybe I'm thinking too much XD
Too much of a complicated character isn't a good thing either.
(Oh and I'm using "they/their" because I don't want to spoil it for those who plan to read the story)
Lovely read tho! (I could literally picture it lol...but that's just my perverted mind....but srsrly, the details were spot on)

Hahaha i get what u mean. I purposely did dat for da readers to be left with sumtin to think about. But i am curious on what your interpretation on who da is da person wearing da black dress. (Uhm it would be better if we talk about it in private lolol. Bc sum ppl might get spoiled if we continue talkin bout it here) (≧∀≦)

Hahaha i get what u mean. I purposely did dat for da readers to be left with sumtin to think about. But i am curious on what your interpretation on who da is da person wearing da black dress. (Uhm it would be better if we talk about it in private lolol. Bc sum ppl might get spoiled if we continue talkin bout it here) (≧∀≦)

it is in english? because i can not understand any langauge except english, wait a minute then i will give you my opinion about it

Yes it is written in english :D okay thank you very muuuuch.

It was pretty good in my opinion, but what do I know ╮(￣▽￣)╭

I ever make one yaoi story but that doesn't include any sex scene cause i make it in english, i am suck at english while it has relate to sex vocabulary, because my country doesnt speak english, english is a foreign language for us, but i love to make a story in english, okay my opinion the story is really adorable, the sex scene is wonderful too. it is a lovey dovey story, i dont hate it, i will be more happy if you make another chapter for them. your story doesnt make me bored at all. keep your good work. i also like to write doujinshi in english but i never publish it in watpad

Omg is dat so? Thank you very muuuuch. ⁄(⁄ ⁄·⁄ω⁄·⁄ ⁄)⁄

Uwaaah! Really? I am sooo happy after reading your feedback. It gave me more motivation in writing BL stuff. :) thank you so sooo muuuuch. ⁄(⁄ ⁄·⁄ω⁄·⁄ ⁄)⁄

Oh and if ever you want someone to read ur works just tell me. I'll gladly read it. (๑•ㅂ•)و✧

Omg you're da first one to point out dat twist!!! ε=ε=(ノ≧∇≦)ノ

Uhm... Sorry but i was really never good in writing long stories bc i often procrastinate then da tendency is i forgot da plot of da story (i know sounds it sounds stupid but dats just how it is lol) so in da end I won't be able to finish it. Oh and yeah everything escalated quickly, actually i intend to write it in a more fluffy way but i end up writing it in a more smutty way so ╮(￣▽￣)╭

But if you still want to read more. You can read dis: https://www.wattpad.com/story/104209675-pencil-boy-x-boy-yaoi
Dat one is my first bl story. (Warning!!! If ever you're going to read dis. There is incest and threesome included)--- tell me if you are going to read it, I'd love to hear your opinions about it. (=・ω・=)

Lastly, thank you very much for taking ur time reading it!!!!

thank you for your support but i am not good at making bl story eventough i like writing. one problem is you are too good as a writer. i mean you must make the character suffer so much then the reader will enjoy it the most. someone said to me a good writer is the one who can make the character live in pain.

You're welcome :)
Ooohh. Is dat how it is???

Hahaha well threesome will always be hot af plus it has some twincest so it was like a plus plus lol. ε=ε=(ノ≧∇≦)ノ
Okay I'll let u know immediately if ever it got a new chap (tho i cant assure u dat there will be a continuation of it)