Littleweird

It's still not fair that Kazuaki is getting the shorter end of the stick though, I mean it would work if there was a mutual agreement that they were going to be in a polyamory relationship, but from my stance kazuaki is monogamous and is not having sex nor pursuing a romantic relationship with anyone bjt his lover. And all that thing you mentioned about respect and healthy relationships? Even if it meant having sex with other people.....that rule doesn't apply to monogamous people.

This has nothing to do with poliamory. It's his job and doesnt count as flings or relationships. Besides, they havent stated in any moment if they are in a monogamous rl or not although as I said that doesnt relate with him being a AV actor. Kazuaki has agreed with his job, they dialogue it when Kira ask him if he would be want him to quit.

Still doesn't negate the fact that "he loves his job" meaning he likes having sex with other people, meanwhile kazuaki is only doing a normal office job without having sex with other people. And since you were generalizing your statement about the topic on romantic relationships, no monogamous person would ever feel comfortable with their significant other having sex with other people and label it as a "job" I felt like I had to reply because you're generalizing monogamous people like me as "selfish" just because we don't want our significant others to have intimate contact with other people, yes even if it is their job I'd still feel uncomfortable with it.

" be it because of the way I need to INTERACT with people in work " Does this mean that if I found out that my husband is having sex with his secretary and other subordinates then I simply turn the other way and ignore it or else I'll be labeled "selfish"?
"I don't think any relationship like this would work" I know a couple where the woman stopped being a prostitute for her fiance and now husband and guess what? they are still happily married today. Although my point is don't generalize what a healthy/unhealthy relationship is unless if there is really an obvious physical or emotional abuse. Romantic relationships aren't black and white as they seem. What you view healthy might be unhealthy for some.

Well,you have made a lot of assumptions there, as that I consider monogomous people as selfish ╮(￣▽￣)╭ no idea why. I said in this case Kazuaki doesnt want him to quit his job, this represents the main topic of the story and that he did makes sense and make it congruent. And he has jealouse issues that are resolved in the tone of this fiction. Because is fiction, yeah, so is easier. But dont forget that porn actors also has monogamous relationahips with no sex workers. This happens in real life too and they have to deal it. I imagine it is not easy.
In poliamorous relationship they also have to deal with jealousy too and wveryone is diferent sometimes relationahips hasnt a label they make thwir own rules that work for them.
You equals he loves his job with he loves having sex with other people, I dont know if thats true but I dont think is that simple. Porn actors has to have a great level of concentration to keep his erecction up, has to make a lot of cuts and make his role believable. They are actors so they have to act and not every actor is the same either. Its more complex.
Maybe this is not your thing. Its fine, I dont know how I would do in Kazuaki situation but I can understand their POV, I found them honest and I feel they care for each other, thats a healthy relationahip for me.

Firstly I would just like to specify that what I said about work interactions was only meant for Kira's case and people with jobs like his, sorry for the misunderstanding, infidelity is in no way forgivable . I said that a relationship where your partner tells you to stop doing what you love because of jealousy would not work , I'm happy for your friends though, they could work it out with communication and understanding, just like I also said in my text . I'm sorry if I have offended you in any way that was in no way my objective , I was just trying to show another perspective of the situation as well as my point of view.

Kira asked Kazuki how he felt about his job, which I think is the most important part. They talked about it and Kazuki was okay with it, even admired Kira for doing what he loved. There's also no implication Kazuki's monogamous. You can be in an open relationship where only one partner has other partners & that can still be a healthy relationship.

The point at which *any* relationship becomes unhealthy is when you fail to communicate what you want. If Kazuki stopped liking Kira's job, the onus is on him to tell Kira. If he doesn't, Kira isn't responsible for hurting him since they've discussed it and Kazuki said he was okay with it. Similarly, if Kira refuses to quit his job and it's something Kazuki cannot deal with, splitting up is a viable option. If you're not comfortable with something your partner does, leaving is always an option if they won't change. But again, that's on the monogamous partner to communicate their discomfort and decide if their discomfort is greater than how much they love the person. Kazuki clearly mace a choice that he's okay with it. Pitying him diminishes that choice.

This is one of the best comments I've ever read on here. Your thoughts and views are mature, well thought through and expressed eloquently. I worked in adult entertainment for 20 years and for more than half of that time I was married. It is exactly as you say. Communication and mutual desire to build a strong and healthy relationship are key to keeping any relationship going, regardless of the type of careers the partners involved have. My husband was jealous at times because of my job, but we talked things over and made compromises for each other so that we could maintain a happy, healthy marriage without sacrificing income or career. We did the same when I was uncomfortable with his job. We worked together to stay together rather than fighting to get away from each other.

You have a good head on your shoulders. Any person you decide to make your life partner will be blessed to have you in their lives. I hope you are equally blessed by their presence. Best wishes to you now and in the future.

Your assumption is completely incorrect. I worked in adult entertainment for 20 years and I know many couples who have happy, healthy relationships where one partner works in AV and the other does not. The partner not working in AV does not see the other partner's job as cheating. It is a job like any other. They both are faithful to each other in their emotional relationship, the non-AV working partner does not sleep with others and the AV working partner does not sleep with others outside of filming. You are assuming that everyone in the world thinks like you. They don't.

Beautifully said!

I feel like the uke didnt completely accept the semes job since he just didnt want to prevent the seme from chasing after his passion and didnt want to lose him.

Another great, open minded comment that makes me proud I share a love of this genre with so many awesome people. Your thoughts on AV actors is right on the nose. They do have committed relationships and it isn't always easy, but they work through it like adults. Well, the pros do. For a professional AV actor, if they sleep around with everyone they meet, they get a bad reputation in the business. They become a health and safety risk to their fellow actors. A bad reputation means no work and no work means no money. The pros take their job very seriously. Yes, sex is part of what they do, but it's not ALL they do. I worked in adult entertainment for 20 years and I can tell you truthfully, it is not nearly as glamorous or as sexy as non-industry people think it is.

Saying, "I love it when you sleep with your fellow actors.", is not the only way to "completely accept" a person's work in AV. "Completely accepting" can also take the form of, "I still feel jealous, but when I do, we will work through it like adults with conversation and compromise." Adults in a relationship compromise all the time. This is how any strong relationship maintains balance. For one partner to have what they want the other person must agree and allow it. This is a form of compromise. If one is allowing their partner to do something and they support them in that endeavor, that is complete acceptance. You don't have to like something to accept it. I don't like paying taxes, but I completely accept that I must do it. I do it faithfully and I support the idea that they need to be collected, but I still don't like having to pay. The same applies here. The uke loves his seme and supports his seme's love for his work. He will still feel jealousy, because he is human (technically he is a fictional character, but he is written as a human), but because he loves and supports his seme's love for is job, they will find ways to work through their problems together.

I was part of the adult entertainment industry for 20 years. Eleven of those years, I was married to my husband. He would get jealous from time to time, but we would work things out together and find ways to make him feel more comfortable, because he knew I loved my job and I was good at it. So, he did not want me to quit, he supported my choice if work. My job also brought in a lot of money for our family. He "completely accepted" my job and the things I had to do to earn a living. The longer I worked and the longer we were together, the less he got jealous. He began to see that there was nothing to be jealous about. I didn't love my customers or partners for work and my attitude towards them was always just one of a professional actor. I played a role at work, but my husband had the "real me" at home. My customers and coworkers only ever saw the character I played. I never had sex with my customers and the sex I had with colleges was so scripted and choreographed, there was no passion or spontaneity involved. Any passion displayed was an act, as phony as a 3 dollar bill. It looked good, but it wasn't really there. More than half the colleagues I worked with I barely liked, let alone loved! I would come home and complain to my husband about having to work with this one or that one. The colleagues I did like would come to dinner at my house with their partner or spouse. It really is a job like any other. There are coworkers you like and those you don't, but you still have to work with them. You're told what to do, where to do it and when to do it. At the end of the week, you get paid. I could stack boxes at a grocery store or put on a live sex show. One pays $500 every two weeks and the other pays $500 per night, five nights a week. I had the ability to make the latter.

Oh! thanks for let me take a real view of how the AV industry works. My comments was just my guess and I see I wasnt wrong. Sex is what it is and jealousy is not love so if you love and wanna compromise in a relationship you have to deal with emotions that not always come from love but cultural conventions that are part too of us. And that happen in any rl we have monogamous, poliamory, open rl, etc...and being a AV actor is a job that involves acting. Now nobody make a fuss for an actor kissing in a movie but time ago that was an scandalous and actress where categorized as whores not so time ago. As I said is the morals and the education whyt I think people suffer in relationships and make us less free.

You are precisely right on all points. The more we know and understand how we, as humans, think and act, the more we can open our minds to other options and possibilities for our thoughts and actions. If what we can accept is just a narrow sliver of the way people think or act and we limit others to that same narrow sliver of acceptance, we can't advance as a species. Look at what "The Dark Ages" did to technology. Because the sliver of acceptance was narrowly formed by religious power holders, even things like sanitation and clean water were forced to regress. The Roman Empire had running water, sewers and toilets. Yet, just 300 years after its fall, people were evacuating into pots and throwing waste from windows into the public street! Those in power wanted the masses stupid and easy to control. So, they limited the education to those who could hold power. This reduced the number of scientists, craftsmen, engineers and scholars who would care about the welfare of the masses. Even now, with the acceptance of transgender people, we are seeing advances in diagnostic capabilities for gender dysphoria/dysmorphia. You cannot study, understand or help those whom you can't accept.

Exactly. I really think that we as species will not be able to progress until we accept others ways of living and stop our views on others too. At the end is what it bases all the misery humans carry and religions are the paradigm in this. And if we could be able of make a deconstruction of our feelings and be more educated in an emotional level since infants world would be a richer and colourful place to live. I know is easier said than done it but trying is enough I think but people use to mock of the differet and alienate it to feel a false sense of confort and safe. Well, I think in same countries that is slowly changing. It have being great to see that what its portrayed in this manga has happened in real life in your experience because I really think is beautifull :)

Well ok

I apologize if my response sounded like I was insulting or putting you down. That was never my intention. I tend to speak forwardly and with a bit too much confidence in my opinions and views. I do this because I don't ever speak about subjects that I have never personally experienced either first hand or through friendships with those who have experienced things. I hope you can forgive any insult or offense. I hoped to teach you through my experience, not put you down. Thank you for your time and attention. I hope we can speak again in the future.

Very true, everything you said. There has to be a "line" drawn for what is acceptable and what is not, only for the sake of reducing or punishing crime. If a person's life choices cause harm to themselves or others, then this is where the line should be drawn. Embarrassment is not harm, nor is discomfort. So, a parent, sibling, friend or stranger can not claim "harm" because they are embarrassed or uncomfortable with a person's life choices. I mean things like physical or emotional/mental trauma. The pendulum of understanding can not swing too far in the opposite direction. Where we accept even those life choices that cause harm, like drug addiction, abuse or pedophilia. A person who is in a consensual poli-amourous relationship, a person who is homosexual; bisexual; asexual; pansexual or trans, a person who is in adult entertainment with the consent of their life partner, etc are not hurting themselves or others. They are simply different from the "norm". Ugh, even the word "normal" irritates me. That word should never be used outside of hard sciences! There is no such thing as "normal" in human psychology and behaviour. There is "healthy and unhealthy", "safe and unsafe", but we are too diverse in our thoughts, desires and cultural behaviours to have a basis for a "blanket ideal" like "normal for a human" to apply. We have to start grasping the idea of "normal for that person" or "normal for me". Then, acceptance of others will easily follow.

Thank you for your kind words of support and compliment. I am glad I could share something with you that gave you insight and also brightened your day. Some mangaka do excellent research, have personal experience or have friends with exciting lives. LOL These are the mangaka I admire most, because they tell a much more realistic and entertaining story. There are many yaoi/BL manga that perpetuate lies and misconceptions about homosexual male relationships. It can't be helped, since this is supposed to be fantasy and not a biography or "how to" life manual. Just as there are no vampires and werewolves, there are no "self lubricating anuses". LOL One fantasy is well known and understood, but due to societal views, the other is shrouded in mystery. There was a time when people believed vampires and werewolves were real. We are currently in an age where what people read in fiction about homosexuality is perceived as real and correct. Hopefully, just as we outgrew the belief in vampires and werewolves, we will outgrow the belief in "self lubricating anuses" and the idea that gay men think and act like women in their relationships. LOL Manga like this, help dispel those misconceptions and myths. Which is, of course, why they hold a special place in my heart.

Thanks, again. I have sincerely enjoyed our conversation and I hope to have many more with you in the future. Have a wonderful day.

Thank you!! and same!! LOL I laugh when you talk about self lubricating anus. I can believe that is still a trope. I dont know whether its due to blantant ignorance of anathomy from the mangaka or for kink porpouse but anyway I have always found it at the best amusing.
And yes, the limit should be just in the harm of others, the rest is acceptable and fine and must be free of labels. Normal should be a offens and a rude word to say, not normal this not normal that. Anything that separate people is unfortunate.
I hope we can chat more in future conversations. I will be commenting here and there sometimes in this site. Good day to you :)

Meh.

As someone who was raised primarily by her gay brother and his many friends and lovers, self lubricating anuses always make me laugh so hard! I have had the displeasure of experiencing an attempt at anal without preparation or lubrication. Take it from me, that hurts like hell! DO NOT try that at home! LMAO

I use the word common and uncommon rather than normal or abnormal. Homosexuality is "normal" to occur in 10% of any mammalian population, but because it is only 10%, it is an uncommon occurrence. There is such a huge difference in those terms and that difference is immensely important.

I will look for your comments and I hope we can talk again. Feel free to mail me if you ever just want to chat as well.