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Genuinely didn't expect this to be so intense. For Your Love was such a sweet relatively
simple romance (precious healthy gay boys) and then the same author suddenly hit me with truckload of dark themes causing me conflicting emotions and THANK YOU for doing so, author-nim. My god this might be the only manhwa besides "A Shoulder to Cry on" where I do sympathise with the "hot bastard (seme)" archetype. Lesser authors tend to infantilise these types of male leads and use their good looks & tragic past to excuse horrendous actions and attitudes, but no Yuri IS a horrible manipulative man, he is not forgiven for taking out his misery on teacher in the narrative. Dude is aware himself of how bitterly twisted he is. In fact, no important characters are one dimensional like I would expect in most bl (look at the trending page...). That's what I love about this mature writing style. The readers aren't forced to like/pity the teacher (but how could you not T-T) and Yuri, we are shown their motives and circumstances for being the way they are and have to judge for ourselves. Occasionally I do see glimpses of who Yuri could have been if he was given a loving family to grow up in like how he didn't abandoned the drunken teacher time and time again or how in latest chapters he directed the conversation away for teacher, even if talking about Noona with BIL hurts him. That, ladies, gentlemen and enbys is why I personally couldn't hate him completely. TLDR: MAH BOIS NEED THERAPY YO and I do too after reading this masterpiece
IKR?? IMAGINE I JUST OPENED THE CHAPTERS AND SUDDENLY THEY ALL HAVE EYE BAGS LMAOO
A gentle reminder that overbearing parents are abusive too. They tend to blame their kids for the misery and guilt trip the kid for THEIR choice of bringing them into this world. To parent a child is most basic job parents have. If a parent consistently insist the kid is not grateful enough and never sit down and openly, respectfully talk about what they’re unsatisfied with, it’s a red flag of bad and even abusive parenting. A “fun” fact, Jiri’ inability to say No, draw clear boundaries and be harsh when necessary (see how A treats him, his students and frankly Yuri, but he couldn’t push back) is likely a result of his mother’s parenting and his father’s absence. Because as we see it, when he justifiably get irritated, his mother goes into full on break down mode so that Jiri has no choice, but to play the adult/parent role and try to comfort her in order to avoid further escalation. It was not his fault to begin with, but his mother conditioned him to avoid confrontation/speaking his mind at all cost so he carried that into his adulthood, causing more dysfunctional relationships and internalized fear of building close relationships. That shit on top of how A treated him and the mother’s seemingly negative reaction to him coming out? Oof. A cocktail of unresolved trauma…I, I just want this poor man to be okay someday. Don’t care if they get together just that my poor bois can both smile earnestly at the end. So yeah if this sounds familiar pls talk to a professional if you can, trauma often burdens you without you knowing it. Honestly there’s much more to unpack, like how Yuri‘s family caused him to be this f*cked up, but enough self indulgent writing for now. Just amazed at how author-nim managed to add in some realism to absolutely destroy me emotionally. It confirms my believe that BL can be so much more than sex and absurd character writings, but I’m so sad rn. ┗( T﹏T )┛
Wow i love this self-indulgent-writing, i would love to read all your opinion more <3
This. My mother is a lot like Jiri's mom, although my mom has explosive fits of rage in addition to the guilt tripping, gaslighting, etc. Another thing that sucks is being told by people outside your family that you're being ungrateful or that your emotionally abusive and/or neglectful parent is soooo sweet. Sure, my physical needs have always been met. But I have a fuckload of trauma from the way she has treated me. I'm irrationally terrified that people around me will explode with fits of rage if I do something wrong. I avoid asking for help, even when I need it, and I have incredibly low self-esteem. It sucks.
Yeah, some abusive people will seems like the normal or the sweetest ppl ever to outsiders, but they tend interact with those close to them very differently. I get your pain. My friend's mother is like that. I was shocked to find out because she favoured me greatly and is a devoted Christian, but I believe him after he opened up. Media often portrays abusive ppl as openly scums of the earth, almost cartoonishly evil which makes it harder for ppl to recognize real life abusers and believe survivors since they only observe the surface. Some ppl tend to be more susceptible of denial too since finding out a person they're on good terms with is actually horrifying is a lot to process. Still, the widespread ignorance on this topic causes a lot of unnecessary pain. I hope you have someone to talk to? As you already said yourself, it's bad for relationships, even casual ones. It's hard work, but it's not impossible to learn to trust and feel a bit more comfortable again.
Aww thank you. Maybe next chapters when it's about Yuri again I will write sth about him.
I do have people to talk to, fortunately. I'm also an adult, so I'm not completely under her thumb. Thanks for being concerned.
Also, in my experience, how religious someone is has nothing to do with their moral character. In fact, among conservative fundamentalists, I've found people to be more abusive the more religious they are. I also say this because I'm an atheist, and I like to think I have a pretty strong moral compass.