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I genuinely feel like this chapter is the literal beginning of Mokyeon’s redemption and acceptance arc. Since the last two chapters, we have seen more and more of the real Mokyeon as the persona he constructed around himself gradually falls apart. First, Nanjoo saw him completely unfiltered while drunk, exposing thoughts and feelings he would normally never allow anyone to witness, and now Mokyeon himself is finally being forced to face the reality he had been hiding behind. As the title suggests, it feels like he is finally confronting his delusions, instead of protecting himself from it through control, manipulation, and self deception. We’re seeing Mokyeon without the strange, untouchable image he carefully constructed around himself, and what’s underneath is surprisingly fragile.
That’s also why I don’t really agree with people describing his recent portrayal as “feminization.” To me, the change isn’t about making Mokyeon more feminine. It’s about allowing him to be vulnerable. He was always beautiful, but seeing his true self makes him look even prettier because there’s something softer and more genuine about him when he isn’t hiding behind his usual persona. He still has the abs, broad shoulders, and a physically imposing body, and even his dramatic weight loss doesn’t change that. What the weight loss DOES do, however, is make his suffering visible. Even his friends were shocked by how much weight he had lost and commented that he looked thinner than he did in high school. So now the people around him, Nanjoo included, can literally see that something has happened to him. His body is revealing what his usual persona would never allow him to admit.

And honestly, I love that contrast. This huge, muscular man who once seemed completely untouchable is now crying, panicking, embarrassing himself, and looking genuinely fragile. His vulnerability doesn’t contradict his masculinity. If anything, I think it makes these scenes much more impactful because we’re finally seeing how much of Mokyeon’s intimidating presence was emotional armor.

What makes this even more interesting to me is Nanjoo’s personality. Nanjoo has always had something of a knightlike nature. He gravitates toward protecting, helping, and taking responsibility for people, which makes me wonder whether this version of Mokyeon might actually be much more capable of reaching him. Until now, Mokyeon positioned himself as someone Nanjoo needed to defend himself against. He approached him through control, manipulation, seduction, threats, and this constant performance of being unaffected by everything. Now Nanjoo is suddenly confronted with someone who might genuinely need care.

And this is where I can’t stop thinking about Sunhwa.

There’s something almost ironic about the fact that Mokyeon, after finally falling apart, now resembles the persona Sunhwa presented to Nanjoo. Sunhwa positioned himself as vulnerable and in need of Nanjoo’s affection and protection, which naturally appealed to that knightlike side of him. Mokyeon did the exact opposite. He constructed himself as someone who needed absolutely nobody.

And I don’t want this to create a misunderstanding because I love Nanjoo just as much as I love Mokyeon, and I’m definitely not trying to place all the responsibility for their relationship on him, but want to show that although a lot less than Mokyeon, he is also responsible for some parts of their dynamic. it’s important that we dont to forget how their dynamic actually began. At their very first meeting in the hotel lobby, Nanjoo was already rude and hostile toward Mokyeon based largely on the person Sunhwa had portrayed him as. Chronologically, that is also the first moment we see Mokyeon put on that arrogant persona in his interactions with Nanjoo. He is confronted by someone who has already formed a negative judgment of him before actually knowing him, and Mokyeon responds by becoming exactly the arrogant and provocative person Nanjoo expects him to be. More importantly, he ends up playing directly into the image Sunhwa wants Nanjoo to have of him for his own sexual purposes. Sunhwa had basically already assigned Mokyeon a role in Nanjoo’s sexual awakening, specifically in pushing him from the “mild” and supposedly boring sex Sunhwa complained about toward something much messier. And Mokyeon was in on that plan too. That obviously does not excuse the manipulation, threats, or everything Mokyeon does afterward, but I think it matters when looking at how their dynamic was established. Nanjoo and Mokyeon never really got the chance to meet each other without preconceived roles and expectations already shaping that first interaction. In a way, they were reacting to distorted versions of each other almost from the very beginning, long before either of them truly understood the person underneath.

Eventually underneath all of that, we saw that Mokyeon IS actually vulnerable. He is in love. He is suffering. He is terrified of rejection. He has lost an insane amount of weight. And most importantly, he is incredibly alone in this world. For all his beauty, money, muscles, arrogance, and ridiculous behavior, underneath everything is basically a deeply hurt person who desperately wants to be loved and has absolutely no idea how to ask for that love in a healthy way.

So there’s a fascinating reversal happening. Sunhwa knew how to present vulnerability in a way that activated Nanjoo’s protective instincts, while Mokyeon never learned how to be vulnerable at all. He protected himself through beauty, desirability, control, and emotional distance instead. Now that he has genuinely fallen in love, those defenses are becoming completely useless, and the person emerging from underneath them ironically resembles the kind of person Nanjoo has always been inclined to protect.

Except this time, it isn’t a persona.

And maybe, if I’m allowed to be slightly delusional myself, this vulnerable Mokyeon might simply be more to Nanjoo’s taste too Not because his suffering itself is attractive, obviously, but because the emotional dynamic between them is changing. Nanjoo is no longer only facing someone who tries to dominate and antagonize him. He is seeing Mokyeon cry, lose control, admit humiliating things, and expose parts of himself that he would normally do anything to hide. For once, Mokyeon isn’t controlling how Nanjoo sees him.

That’s why I personally don’t really care whether their sexual positions remain the same or whether their sexual dynamic eventually changes. The shift I’m much more interested in is the emotional one. Mokyeon desperately needs genuine acceptance after showing Nanjoo his snoopy, cute, embarrassing, crying, completely unfiltered self. We basically watched this supposedly narcissistic, manipulative, borderline sociopathic menace finally face his own delusions and turn into a literal crybaby, and I’m sorry to the haters but it somehow made him ten times more human and adorable to me

Which brings me back to Nanjoo. I STILL don’t know what to make of his facial expression or that very noticeable protruding vein on his hand. I’m choosing to hope it’s positive flabbergast rather than a preview of emotional destruction because I have suffered enough But at this point, we desperately need Nanjoo’s POV. We know what Mokyeon feels now. We know that he loves Nanjoo, that he is suffering, and that the persona he used to protect himself is collapsing.

Now we need to know what Nanjoo sees when he looks at the real Mokyeon standing in front of him.

PLEASE give us his POV because I cannot keep psychoanalyzing one facial expression and a hand vein for another week

皆さん、よろしくお願いします!
みょんちゃんと呼んでください〜

I think Nanjoo seeing Mokyeon at his absolute worst, without any filters or deception, actually made him warm up to him. When Mokyeon says he’ll just die from embarrassment, Nanjoo responds with, “I guess I wasn’t completely wrong about you after all,” obviously referring to his belief that Mokyeon had been manipulating him. But I don’t think that line is purely negative. The fact that he says he “wasn’t completely wrong” also implies that he has been questioning whether his judgment of Mokyeon was entirely right in the first place. To me, that suggests he has been thinking a lot since the night before, especially about everything Mokyeon revealed while drunk, and perhaps beginning to reconsider the image he had built of him.
Nanjoo saying, “You don’t know me,” also made me wonder if there is some guilt or self-awareness on his side. For a long time, he seemed to judge Mokyeon largely through Sunhwa’s words and his own worst experiences with him. And obviously Mokyeon gave him plenty of reasons to distrust him—the threats, manipulation, and the way their sexual relationship began all reinforced that image. But at the same time, Nanjoo has also seen sides of Mokyeon that don’t completely fit the manipulative and sadistic image he had of him, like his genuinely cute and almost ordinary side in the burger chapter.
I think Nanjoo gradually realized that things were much more complicated than he wanted them to be. He started noticing that they actually have more in common than he initially thought, and somewhere along the way, he also started genuinely enjoying sleeping with Mokyeon. The fact that he couldn’t even get it up with Sunhwa anymore makes that conflict even more obvious to me. Maybe part of Nanjoo’s increasing anger toward Mokyeon came from not being able—or simply not wanting—to accept what his own reactions were telling him. If Mokyeon were nothing more than the deceitful, sadistic person Nanjoo had decided he was, everything would be much easier. But the more genuine sides of Mokyeon he saw, and the more his own attraction and feelings started contradicting that image, the harder it became to keep things that simple. Maybe that inner conflict is also part of why Mokyeon’s antics started making him even angrier.
I’m not trying to justify everything Mokyeon has done to Nanjoo, but considering the title and what we know about his childhood, I’ve always seen him as a deeply hurt child whose inner world never really healed. He was abandoned and grew up feeling like he was only chosen or valued because of his looks, so he built this narcissistic armor around himself as a form of self-protection. He learned to use the very thing people valued him for—his beauty, desirability, and ability to control how others perceived him—as a way to protect himself from being vulnerable again. Ironically, that armor became completely counterproductive when he finally fell genuinely in love with someone. The manipulation and control that once protected him are exactly what prevent him from forming the genuine connection he actually wants with Nanjoo.
That’s why his drunk, completely unguarded self feels so important to me. For once, Mokyeon couldn’t control how Nanjoo saw him. There was no carefully constructed image, no manipulation, no seduction—just Mokyeon exposing the parts of himself that he normally hides. Nanjoo finally saw the person underneath all that armor, and his facial reactions during Mokyeon’s painful confessions make me think something genuinely shifted. I actually do believe that Nanjoo has started to love Mokyeon, even if he hasn’t fully accepted or understood those feelings himself yet. But at the same time, I don’t think he has completely forgiven him for everything he has done, which creates yet another contradiction within Nanjoo. He can love Mokyeon and still resent him, still feel hurt by him, and still struggle to reconcile the person he is beginning to see with the person he believed Mokyeon to be. And I think that contradiction is exactly what makes their relationship so interesting to me.
Anyway, this turned into a ridiculously long rant because I love this manga way too much Every chapter gives me another tiny facial expression or line to overanalyze, and then somehow the chapter ends in what feels like five seconds. I NEED to know where all of this is going.

Kang Hyo-in has been in love with his best friend of eight years, Jin Ye-geon. After years of pining...

I need Taein and Joon scenes <3 Love a good side ship.

I want to read the novel, using the site https://www.novelupdates.com/series/diamond-dust/ Does anyone know where I would have to start, like till which chapter of the novel did the manga already cover?