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I will preface this by saying that I like characters with great emotional depth. I like characters that turn a piece of media into not just another romance manga (which you may be able to see if you've read my review of Okyu no Trinity)
If you like fluff and everything tied up in a bow, I don't think this is a story for you, but maybe you would like to take a chance on this. If you're someone who hates bittersweet endings and psychological media is not your thing, I suggest you don't waste your time with this manhwa. You'll only be disappointed.
I won't say that I'm not disappointed with this manhwa's conclusion, but the author said that she was asked to lengthen the manhwa but didn't know how and that she was very conflicted and struggled through writing the manhwa. In the end, I'm very glad that she wrote this manhwa. I think the ending is very fitting, but I wish Dowun could have gone through a characterisation arc, something to show any character development. It's very Dowun to keep these things hidden, but as a reader, you can't help but want to uncover even more. It's not a perfect story, but it's one that I'll love forever.
I will also say that I will be a Dowun apologist until the day I die. I won't deny that he may be a hard character to like because he doesn't fit into the usual male lead standards of... outwardly liking the female lead (and not to generalise, but I think this is the reason why many fans dislike Dowun).
I will say that I haven't been able to read the full manhwa, but from what I've seen on Twitter and other sites, Dowun is someone who thinks love will make him weak and not in a fluffy tsundere character way.
Dowun is quite easy to dislike if you were expecting this manhwa to be about romance, but honestly, I found him to be the most compelling character overall. He is a person who sees people as tools and very means to an end, I believe it has to do with his upbringing, where he knows from a young age that his clan helped to develop their country and basically fell after the royal family swallowed up the clans. From a young age, he knows how to use people, is intelligent, and knows politics inside and out.
Essentially, Dowun's existence is essential to my enjoyment of this manhwa because what would it be without Dowun? Hong Lyon gets together with Baek Han, end of the story? Like he saves her at the start, if Dowun didn't exist, you'd know from the start that she'd be with Baek Han. Dowun keeps you reading, and he keeps the suspense. He is what keeps this story from being another forbidden love, master x servant, saved my life once story.
On that note: I don't actually dislike Baek Han, but something about him is so... dull compared to Dowun. I don't know what makes him unique from every other male lead in another romance manhwa? I don't mean that he isn't a good man, but if he were just a little. less. cookie cutter, I might have liked him a little more. He doesn't progress or go through any character development across the manhwa other than falling in love with Hong Lyon. He starts off kind, and he ends kind. I would like him dearly as a person, I would love him so dearly if he were real, but in a story, he just falls short.
[ This is a joke. ] Honestly, my biggest criticism is why she couldn't have just married both Dowun and Baek Han. Like girl, you have the biggest dick in the country, you can have both. Why limit yourself to the bodyguard and your fiancé? All in, go for broke.
Honestly, this manga made me feel a lot, and I don't think I can articulate my feelings about it very well without seeming blunt and an asshole. I haven't read this manga in a while and I don't want to reread it lest I go insane and tear my hair out, so I'm going off vibes only. (If you see this review on tumblr, that's me. Don't worry.)
My favourite character is Ugetsu and I think this will skew my opinion of the manga a little, so be warned. I found Ugetsu to be a very compelling character, and it was a huge shame that he vanished partway through the manga, and I only kept reading to see him again. I have no criticisms about him as a character, he's interesting and compelling, and it's clear that he's someone who is still growing and learning to walk on his own two feet. I won't deny that his relationship with Akihiko was very toxic, but I definitely think this isn't something that can be blamed solely on him.
I won't say I dislike the manga, but I found some parts a bit... uncomfortable. (I don't know how to censor the rest of this, but spoilers below)
For starters, Akihiko coming onto Haruki, in a very assaultive kind of way, and later they started to date. Actually yeah, Akihiko pretty much assaulted him. That was a huge point of contention for me. I honestly don't know how to feel about it given the genre of the manga. I don't think it was dealt with very well. Given was framed as a realistic BL manga, but I feel that having this scene in rather than an argument feels completely wrong. Again, I'm someone who will digest pretty much anything the world throws at me, but the Akiharu assault scene came off wrong and it came off *scary* but afterwards all seemed to be resolved. I just have to wonder what was the point of that buildup if you were just going to allow things to end nicely?
What I'm trying to say is: What does it matter that Akihiko apologised, he still assaulted Haruki. Even worse is the way that they're framed as a healthy couple afterwards, this just made me all the more uncomfortable? I'm not an anti-anything and do not support purity culture, and I also believe that fiction should be fiction, and what people enjoy should no way equate to a person's worldview. But I feel like if your basis is a "realistic" love story, trauma after an assault should be dealt with better. I think it's more to do with fictional yaoi culture, that we've grown to accept SA that is unaddressed in our media to the point that Akihiko's apology is like a prayer more than something that's not even worth a second glance.
Saying that Akiharu started off rocky is an understatement, but if I pretend it never happened, I can say for sure that they are much healthier than Akigetsu, and they deserve each other. It's just not good storytelling especially because I don't really understand the motivations of Haruki liking Akihiko. Haruki feels like his character arc is based around Akihiko while Akihiko's character arc is based around him bettering himself as a person. I feel like Haruki also has a saviour complex that could have been expanded upon and turned into the point of his character arc but lmao it wasn't. Haruki deserved a better character arc.
In spite of saying this, I'm not an Akiharu hater, I swear. But I just found that ship much less compelling than Akigetsu in general. Akigetsu was a relationship where they were both massively toxic towards each other, there was an imbalance in the fact that Ugetsu literally owned the place they were living in, as well as how he'd kick Akihiko out whenever things were rocky. I think the end of their relationship was dealt well on both sides. They ended the relationship and went their separate ways, this was the best ending for them. The difference between these two relationships is that one was dealt well and the other was dealt *wrong*. Akiharu deserve each other and Ugetsu deserves to learn how to grow by himself.
Also the relationship between Hiiragi and Shizusumi. Okay, what do I even say about that. It feels like the start of a relationship on a crumbling cliff. I had no opinions on it before (because I'm someone who has their eyes solely on Ugetsu), but then I started frowning when they got together because those were... very twisted words on the page. I literally don't know what to say about it other than, bro what the hell, okay. Like listen, I read it and I had flashbacks to the Akiharu assault chapter but this time it was played as "love" rather than something reprehensible. Once again, assault was in the manga and it, once again, resolved with badly.
Sexual assault being played off as "love" should be garnering people's "??? what the fuck"s and not to bat for the opposing team for once but where are the anti-shippers. I've seen like? two people talk about this chapter and nothing else.
Anyway. Chapter 41 was so uncomfortable for me to read. Like I've read worse and I've digested worse, I've read yaoi and played the most fucked up yaoi games out there, but I don't think I've ever read something so... jarring before. I honestly believe this isn't even dub-con, this is straight-up non-con but it was played as something consensual and played as "character development". Hiiragi said he was scared and was crying, but they still fucked anyway. You can also say that Hiiragi was fine afterwards (I don't actually remember), but that would make this even worse because then it doesn't become a mistake that the character made but something purposeful by the author. SA is SA and the fact that the victim was giving an about it afterwards says something about this "realistic" BL and how "yaoi is always going to be yaoi".
Okay, to the protagonists. The other characters, Mafuyu and Uenoyama. Hm. I think they weren't anything particularly life-changing. I think they were kind of... average. Sorry, don't come at me. In terms of characters, I found Uenoyama more compelling than Mafuyu. I don't dislike either of them, don't get me wrong, soft characters aren't really my type, but I think their development together was very good. I'm just not really? interested in either of them as characters, so I didn't pay attention. They're cute. They get a pass.
Another thing that I found ugh with this manga is . hear me out . chapter 40. Holy shit holy fuck. Imagine if that had been Mafuyu. It's something played for laughs but what the hell is with Akihiko's attitude. Like I said, I don't care *that* much for Mafuyu but "Mafuyu stop with these sudden attacks" , my fucking guy, Mafuyu is *coming* to you for help, he's opening up to you, and you basically want to tell him to... stop? Like aren't you all friends? Also the fact that both Aki and Haru are pushing Uenoyama to get Mafuyu to rejoin the band. That's something else that bothers me heavily. That they're treating Mafuyu as Uenoyama's responsibility because they're dating. It's a band that is sure to fall apart if you are not all supporting each other.
Sigh. Honestly, I think that's all the qualms I had with this manga. Overall, I think this manga has a lot of ups and downs in quality, but towards the end, I feel like that's a nosedive. My only solace is seeing Ugetsu's face once again.