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The novel is more in depth with the psyche of the characters. (There's no romance whatsoever. It's fullblown psychological. When I started reading, I was like, "It's akin to killing stalking, thankfully it's not" Imagine my surprise after reading all the chapters including the spoilers lmao. Never jinx things)

Backstory: In middle school, Jiwook and Jungyeon are getting close. I think they were developing feelings with each other. But Jiwook is so scared to be found out. So he sold off Jungyeon to his "friends". Bothe homphobia ajd internalized homophobia are at play here. He made it seem like Jungyeon is the problem so that he won't out himself. These "friends" bullied Jungyeon ajd it actually crossed the sexual abuse line. These bullies sent the videos to Jungyeon's mother whuch made her have an entire menatl breakdown and brpught us to her present situation.

The thing is, Jiwook has no recollection of anything. It's not simply because he cannot recall it but I think it's a defense mechanism of his. He completepy locked out the memory. I don't know abt the diagnosis for it tho. (This part reminds me abt a manga where the main character is devil incarnate because he's the worst person ever but he forgot everything. He suddenly became a very different person. He was extremely kind to a fault but of course, the people in his past kept on haunting him back)

Jungyeon staged another gangr*ape where he contacted the people that Jiwook bullied and wronged in the past. It was so severe that he was confined to the hospital. This made Jiwook fear going outside.

Jungyeon realized that he doesn't want to just punish Jiwook, he wants to possess him. Dominating him brings extreme satisfaction to him.

There were a lot of manipulation. And of course, Jiwook showed signs of Stovkholm syndrome. The abuse and humiliation continued. It came to a point where Jiwook loved the small moments where Jungyeon is kind or caring to him. That's how much he was conditioned.

At the end, Jiwook did not finish college. He fears going outside so he's permanently confined in Jungyeon's place. He is completely dependent to Jungyeon.

The thing abt the dog is part of the side story.

The story revolves around two POVs. The POV of the victim and the perpetrator. Who is who, is up for debate. But it's not mutually exclusive to either.

Let's not pretend like it's just Sunhwa's fault here. I'm just tired of people who kept on blaming him. Neither of the 3 is innocent. Yall love forgetting what Mokyeon did to Nanjo. And Nanjo is not exactly an angel. And the "fucking twink" is not the main obstacle, he never was. Even if he no longer wanted to be in the picture, Nanjo kept on chasing him. The main obstacle between their relationship(Nanjo & Mokyeon's relationship) are the two of them all along. It's as clear as day that Nanjo likes Mokyeon but he's too square that he doean't realize that or he can't accept that fact. Mokyeon on the otherhand, did not exactly gave a good impression and karma came biting him back after all of the things he had done to Nanjo. Every action has an equal or opposite reaction. Can't blame Nanjo for not wanting to talk it out especially if Mokyeon did those things to you. The wrongdoer can't be a chooser.

It's not enough. But lmao, the tension between Ailette's older brother and the 3rd prince lmao (but it's not that kind of genre and he might end up with Bianca idk). Lmao kidnapping Ailette??? The Thesilid invitation is so cute though.

ML will meet up with FL as "Hyeon". He'll break up with her. But fl put a tracker to Hyeon. Then she saw that "Hyeon" was going to ML's hospital room. So she realized that ML is Hyeon. She'll pretend she doesn't know. She'll go to their house then burn it. ML will come running to her and FL will propose to him. They'll get married and on their honeymoon, after making love, FL will reveal that she knows ML is hyeon then gun will be involved. ML will be shot(idk who shot him) And FL will leave ML lmao. She said she'll stop being Soryeong and will just be Sonya. She left with her childhood friend Kiya(the russian priest)

ML was hospitalized. I think 6 months have passed. ML went to Russia to look for FL. A lot of grovelling will happen(the satisfying one) He'll beg FL but FL will not give up that easily. But later they'll be together again.

Sonya/FL is the daughter of that mad scientist and the NIS director(yes, that woman. Lowkey called it while I was reading it lmao) the birdbox project is the NIS director's twisted way of showing care to her daughter. She did all of that so FL will not go to Russia and to pretty much isolate her from other people who might harm her. So when the madscientist did get mad, she thought it's time to stop the project because she's already safe, lowkey underestimated the genes of the mad scientist running in FL's blood lmao.

Before, the NIS director married the mad scientist for a mission. They had a daughter(the FL) but she sent FL to the orphanage because the mad scientist doesn't want children so she sent her in the orphanage to protect her. Unfortunately, fate does play sick tricks. The Mad scientist did an expirement on the children on the same orphanage so FL was experimented on by her own father. Some sort of chip was implanted in their brain to brainwash them(idk wut's the point of the experiment). I think the mad scientist found out that she's his daughter so he tampered with the chip to erase the painful things he had done to her during the experiment and leave the happy memories only. The carousel that FL always say during her therapy was actually abt her and ML when they were kids, they were ice skating.

ML came from a prestigious house. His grandfather was pretty much crazy. I don't understand the political struggle of his grandfather. Anyways, he killed ML's parents in front of him to show his loyalty to the current regime(idk really).

There's some angsty farewell between Kiya and FL. Kiya is not exactly a bad guy here and according to the comments, it's pretty much a bittersweet goodbye. If I understand it correctly, the chips in their brain (Kiya and FL) have important data. But Kiya went to America(?) alone instead of going with FL because according to him, he wanted FL to live happily and it's already enough that he surrenders himself to America for the data. It was extra sad coz afaik, they were really close during childhood.

After all of these events, ML quits as NIS and they lived together. But of course, the political strife is still not over. Afaik, in the background, there are political talks or something. Basically, they got their happy ending but the problem of the world did not stop just because they got their happy ending.

ML will regain his memories but pretend that he's still amnesiac. It was a really hard read. He pretends to still be "her husband" while undermining her. He hates liars btw. While pretending, FL realized that he regained his memories. She pretends not to be aware of it. But when ML found out, he was so mad. He destroyed FL's house and even tho FL begged for him to stay, he still left her.

ML thougt that FL works for his brother so he felt so betrayed and mad. And yes, his brother was actually the BIG BAD GUY aka the antagonist. ML is his guard dog. The person who kills for him. ML is so good at doing his job and that's y he's an important asset to his brother. His brother killed his mother. The reason y his brother wants to find whoever attacked ML is because he considers ML his property so enemy of ML = his own enemy.

ML went back to his brother. FL found out she's pregnant. During the time they were apart, ML realized he truly loves FL. He wanted to get back together(he also found out she's pregnant) but FL did not forgive her. Saying that she already buried her husband and he's long gone which made ML pissed because he's very much alive lmao. Anyways, he's also pissed coz FL was ready to move on and live with their child without him knowing(serves him right lmao).

ML's brother took FL in. And ML's brother's subordinate asked for FL's clothes. The broer plan to make a random actress wear FL's clothes and trick ML into sleeping with that same actress(maybe to control him. Because if ML fid sleep with another person, FL will never forgive him and he will never forgive himself therefore further pulling them apart). At first, ML thought that the actress is FL but he realized she isn't. Of course he was enraged.

Anyways, he allied with his cousin who's a tech genius to take over the Kwon family. The cousin escaped that family before taking a large sum money from them. There's this event where ML planned to kill all of the attendees and stage himself as the only survivor to take.over the family. Technically, he succeeded. He left his brother alive because he doesn't want to send him to the place where their dead mother is.

Her mother escaped the family with ML in her Cello case. They tried to live peacefully until his brother found him. He killed their mother, yes biological mother. He's psycho that way, runs in the family. ML is actually just a normal kid. A Cello prodigy. He's the singing tree = FL's first love. He did try to meet FL when they were kids but FL was sleeping I think(? It wasn't clear). He saw that he's shorter than FL so he doesn't want to show himslef until he's taller lmao. From there on, he decided he have to grow bigger. They are each other's first love. I I understand it correctly, younger FL revealed ML and his mother's location because she was tricked by the brother. She thought they meant well. ML thought younger FL was his brother's spy.

Well, they had a son named Namu. For fl, it meant "impersonator" because Ml loves to act lmao. While in ML's defense it's more of "plant" something that FL loves.

(Extra) On a rainy day, FL saw a man wearing black rain coat and holding a shovel in their backyard. The same image as their first meeting. ML was just shoveling up the tomb of FL's "husband" lmao because it bothers him coz he's still alive.

ML is a house husband. A kept man full time while amassing profits from when he took over the kwon group of companies. He loves being a kept man lmao. (He got rid of the illegal business except the casino and auctions)[idk what really happened to his brother but I think he went into prison]

There is a special patient at Spruce Hospital. A man in a vegetative and comatose state who has been...

...

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It's funny how he one up Yohan. Like didn't we already learn that he has Pride and he is very political. He doesn't take it well when someone walks all over his pride. Even if the person in question is someone he loves. We saw what he did.to Jungwon and we'll see what he'll do to Yohan later. Jun is never a kind person but isn't bad too. It might look like he doesn't have a backbone. But don't be fooled, as much as he slithers his way like a snake, snake's skeletal system is predominantly made of spine and ribs(backbone).

I was so curious on how will they explain the reason behind Minyoung outing Cheol. Honestly, the reason works. I mean at the start, it doesn't make sense. Minyoung knows Cheol doesn't want to be found out. Well, this backstory helped contextualized it.

As a Passion: Raga reader, it's so interesting how ones sympathy changes once the main character changes. The commsec of Passion: Raga hates/gets mad at Ilay but here, they are furious at Xinlu. Honestly, it's just Karma for Ilay lmao. And for Xinlu, using Jaeui is foul. Well they'll both win at the end of all of this.

So this is what they mean by "Good things never last". It's good but short

Memory so bad, I forgot the plot again after just rereading this recently (I reread other stories after this) All of them are mix8ng all together

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I llke that they lost. We got a deeper dive on their principles itself. Like Isagi said, what exactly is ego. And I just knew that they will clash one way or another if they follow what Jinpachi said (especially if they don't have a deep understanding of the principle that Jinpachi taught them)

On another note, lmao not the opening up. Now they look like even more of a team (reminds me of that open forum my teammate had in their previous football team where if the coach noticed that there's something wrong with the dynamic of the team, the coach will tell them to have a meeting where they can say their kept feelings towards the other and it actually help the team grew closer and have a better dynamics)

It's not even BDSM(a lot of you know that already but I'm still mentioning it) Most of the things he did are SA. No consent wutsoever. So what if he's a masochist, if consent isn't there, it's SA. And bruh I really hate whenever they include another guy just for the ML to SA them. It would have been better if they had a fist fight honestly. Anyways, this is one of the stories where you just have to turn off your brain, idk why I even continued reading this even if most of the chapters are hard to read. I might even see this through because I just want to see the ML having a hard time because you cannot be a Trash without consequences.

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