Eru's Topics (95)

Are you actually equating a guy’s petty jealousy to someone who was assaulted..? He said hurtful words cuz the other guy started it, “sense of danger” my ass. He also literally said “youre getting closer with people again” srsly ? He should trust his husband more.

Eh? What the heck are you saying....His assault is absolutely heavier than jealousy????

You touched the core of something very heavy: Hazuki's insecurities ARE NOT Naoto's responsibilities! His jealousy and "lack of parenting skills" ARE NOT Naoto's fault either! It might have been a "slip of the tongue", but what Hazuki said was incredibly insensitive, not on pair AT ALL with what Naoto said.
Please remember how small Naoto's world was before he met Hazuki, how he closed himself over his self-loathing and is now blossoming and healing, believing in himself, seeing his omega self as someone worthy...
"Don't make it seem like your trauma is heavier than his jealousy." If you truly think this carries the same weight then I'm very concerned with your sense of judgment.

See, that's where fights are springing up... Competition. Competing of who is more this and that.. Seriously, I am neither belittling Naoto's trauma nor tolerating Hazuki's jealousy. My point being is that neither of them weighs the other. So why is it okay for Naoto to be mad at Hazuki when it was him who initially called his husband childish when he refused to reassure him first? You guys actually liked being able to hear someone is better than you from your partner even though it wasn't their intention? And since that was not his intention, shouldn't he let him know that?

Reassurance goes both ways, how many times has Naoto been showered upon by Hazuki with that? I'm not saying he's lacking, I'm just they both did wrong. They shouldn't be competing. But why is it that it's okay for Naoto and not Hazuki? Where's all that "invalidating" someone's feelings now? Isn't that what it looks like?

If you can't even realize that Naoto wasn't the least bit regretful he said his partner was childish considering how delicate that issue is for his partner, don't come after me. It is not okay for Hazuki to not trust Naoto, neither it is okay for Naoto to brush off his partner's insecurities especially when he is trying to better himself at parenting.. Not all husbands make that kind of effort.

You are actually belittling Naoto's trauma when you say "Don't make it seem like your trauma is heavier than his jealousy" - if that wasn't your intention, then okay, but from what you said, belittling it, is exactly what you're doing.

Hazuki did not go to Naoto with his concerns in a mature way. He did not try to have a conversation with him about any of it, he merely started spouting everything Naoto does wrong, in his opinion. He didn't voice concerns or express his worry in any respectful manner at all.

I think honesty and communication is the way to go in any relationship, which means it is perfectly okay for Hazuki to express his feelings and for Naoto to call Hazuki childish, because that is in fact what he is. He is not calling him names, nor does is have anything to do with his age, because anyone can be childish.

Being jealous or have any other feelings for that matter is not the issue here. It is how you go about communicating that. It is NOT invalidating someone's feelings if you do not accept the way they go about expressing them, if they are doing it wrong. Nor is it invalidating someone's feelings if you do not agree or want to follow what they say.

And maybe you need to read it again because Naoto never commented on Hazuki's parenting or the effort he is putting in it. Hazuki is the only one who thinks he is bad and lacking. He called him childish for saying Naoto shouldn't ever talk to someone alone etc. not for his parenting.

Naoto never commented about how Hazuki is being a parent but knows he is insecure about it not being as good as him (since way back Minato was a baby). How do you think he would feel someone else was praised by his husband himself for being good at kids he only met?

I agree on the communication part of every relationship, and so that's why, when Hazuki asked, how did Naoto responded? Take into consideration he remembered how it was before with sensei. Did Naoto communicated in that part? Why did Hazuki prodded more? What led his emotions stir? How did Naoto go about it? Surely calling him at that point childish because he didn't want to answer nor reassure his partner a miss on his part too, no?

When I said his trauma is not heavier than Hazuki's jealousy, I meant that if he was hurt about Hazuki's outburst, how did he think Hazuki felt about Naoto's? Again, it was okay for him to comment about Hazuki's insecurity— childish, which in his situation at the time means on so many levels? Him being younger, him having lesser experience as a father or less interaction with children? How would that not boil in his head? Then Hazuki erupted. This time he commented on Naoto's insecurity, which I'm not sure if he is still insecure about since Hazuki wholeheartedly accepted him, even protected him off of it, but that was not okay? Isn't that one-sided? Since when was "you hurting your partner is okay but your partner hurting you is not okay" equal?

They both hurt each other, but why does it seem that Naoto only gets to be the more validated one and Hazuki feeling most remorse? Should Hazuki have been raped or experienced the same physical trauma for his pov to be understood?

If Hazuki is gravely affected by it, an alpha with so much pride, that just means that his pain is not in any way lesser than Naoto's. Much to call it "petty". It's drowning him.

My point is that, Naoto didn't recognize his fault too only because his experience/past were more grave than Hazuki's conundrum now. Every one has their own view of what they're dealing with. You cannot just outweigh other's lesser and not realize that you had set aside their pain you stirred..

Which again, as I've said is competing. See, you're outweighing Hazuki and considered Naoto's painful words, for Hazuki, a "slip of the tongue". While Hazuki's outburst, which was caused by Naoto, a jab below the belt? Naoto touched the core of Hazuki too, why should that be ignored? Because he wasn't raped? Because he was born alpha? Because he is expected to be the one more understanding? Why should there be a "you are more valuable than me" role in a relationship? You don't acknowledge you hurt your partner because you feel you were more hurt than they were? How do you even measure that? Is everybody's feelings just that measurable now?

Where is that quote "everyone is unique and precious in their own ways" now? Are you no longer precious if you weren't raped? Does your pain holds lesser meaning when compared to others whom believed to have had it more rough?

I could never forget what happened to Naoto, much to my disappointment cause he deserved better, younger days. And again, if you cannot read between the lines, don't come at me. Me degrading Naoto's experience was never my intention. My point was, in any relationship neither of you is better than the other. You both matter. Either your past trauma or his present issue. Both are important. That is why together you are called "partners".

And no need to be concerned of my judgment. I, not the same as Naoto, was also abused when I was much more younger than Naoto was. I never once thought my partner's jealousy nor even his slight discomfort was much lesser than mine.

And honestly you guys, you don't need to align your thoughts to mine. I wrote my comment for Naoto, not for y'all. If I did, there would be an acknowledgement for all readers like, "girl", " you guys ", " You know what? ", or " Hear me out" etc..

Your opinion is not heavier than mine. Much that my opinion is not lesser than yours. Get it? That's the whole point of my main comment. If you still find that in disagreement, wrangle over it with yourself. Don't judge my judgement just because we don't think alike. You can leave a comment for the sake of discussion but don't go on saying about who I am. That's not what I'm doing here and neither should you. If you can't be nice to others because you find them heavily disagreeable, don't bother wasting your time AND their time.. Oops, this goes to me too... Welp, I've already typed this long now.. Might as well post it...

here here