beta
just saw this on tiktok and it explained that "one chapter" very vaguely. after reading this my stomach felt so sick the entire time. ive never related this much to a character before.
Trigger warning when I was 10 years old my sister's ex boyfriend who was 22 at the time, fell in love with me. He groomed me behind my sister's back and made me believe i was inlove with him while he did things to me i couldnt understand. He slowly made me into this dirty minded girl and that I was the one at fault for indulging him. One day my sister found out and broke up with him but it was only up to that. His family was rich, we couldnt go against them. So i was left with all the physical damage and people around me telling me to move on. I then grew up very hypersexual and would go after wayyy older guys, even as a minor myself. It made me feel so disgusting, so filthy, i didnt know how to get over it on my own. It eventually led up to worse things and I would constantly burn myself with matches and overdose on random pills that made me hazy the entire day. It made me feel so much pain, but I liked it because it helped me forget. Helped me feel anything other than the phantom hands in my body. Helped me drown out the sounds of him convincing me I like it. I trapped myself in a burning house to save myself.
I'm 19 now. I'm in a great college, I have a lot of friends, I have a high position in my org and I inspire lots of people with what I do. I haven't moved on, but I found a way to have my peace. I'm mad sometimes, I'm mad at myself, I'm mad at my groomer that's having an amazing life about to marry rich, I'm mad at my family for never listening and never noticing. I still feel the itch in my throat, I still feel the slick in my thighs, I still feel the hands holding me. But I won't let that define me, every single second I'm so proud of myself taking a step forward, for forgiving myself and for moving on. I have a great support system, and every day I'm thankful for all the love they've given me. I hope I have enough courage to tell all of this to them someday. But for now, this will stay hidden in a pirating site lmao.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. Bastards like that deserve to rot for eternity.
All I know about you is these two paragraphs I just read on this comment but you sound like an amazingly strong person and you should be proud of yourself I know I am of you and I’m just some rando on a yaoi gooning site.
And you know you don’t have to move on I’ve always hated the phrase “just move on” it’s not that easy, It’s never that easy. but it’s like you said you need to find peace not with that situation Specifically but you need to find peace in your soul.
I’ve been through some insane shit too not as horrible as what you’ve been through. But I think even a little bit I understand you. I’m glad you have people in your life that support you and lift you up you deserve that love
sending all the love in my heart to you. you are so insanely strong bro
okay then