Escapism

ship guys, jerk of to it, judge who will the seme or uke be.. it's fine AS LONG AS IT STAYS IN THE FICTION. If you do these things with real people then nuh uh honey ¯_(ツ)_/¯

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, just like smut heterosexual manga, there’s also yaoi manga. Of course there are yaoi mangas out there that actually DO make boy x boy ships the most ideal and fantasied stories, but there are also smut manga that does the same. Anyways every manga is pretty much 99% nonfiction, so I don’t think it’s such a big deal seeing as a lot of people should be able to separate reality and fantasy. I’m a whole romance fanatic, and I’m open to read both yaoi and smut, etc. But i also agree that there is a good handful of people that I find annoying, ex: those fujoshi’s that like to ship anything and everything so long as it’s male and they have had at least one conversation together -.-

there's nothing wrong with shipping people, it's not a fetish it's just your interest. Kinda like how people like to read romance, them saying you fetish two guys together is kind of like them fetish straight people together.

Yaoi is 100% fetish fuel for women made by women as but that doesn't mean you are a bad person for reading it. The same way that a straight guy isn't a bad person for liking lesbian porn. The problem comes when people make the active choice to not educate themselves on real queer people and do nothing to help those who are persecuted for being who they are. Queer youth make up a disproportionate percent of homeless youth and are more likely to commit suicide. There is a legal loophole in the law that allows a man to kill a trans woman if he believes she "trapped" him and get off on an insanity plea. Corrective rape, torture, genital mutilation, murder, and a million other awful things are still being done to queer people around the world. Many people don't even know or do anything to help people who are suffering because of something that they cannot control and you can just passively enjoy. I feel like if you want to enjoy yaoi, you have to do your best to be an ally however you are capable and to learn about the real people who marginalized for their sexual orientation or gender identity. I think that a lot of people who enjoy yaoi don't think much about anyone else besides the G in LGBT+ and I think that education on and supporting the entirety of the acronym is something that people who enjoy depictions of queer people should do.

I feel like it's super controversial especially within the lqbtq community, so not everyone is going to agree. I think that as long as you realize that it's fiction and don't bring it into real life it should be fine.

yaoi is targeted to women so the authors know exactly what they're doing so don't feel bad. The only reason straight guys watching lesbian porn is such a heated issue is because they'll jerk off to it but refuse to accept lesbians for who they are as actual people (they're homophobic yet they watch lesbians do it)

It's a fetish since it is a matter of someone who is not queer enjoying a work about queer people and finding enjoyment in the fact that it is queer while the work sexualizes the characters in conjunction to the characters' queerness. That doesn't make it morally wrong because people are allowed to have fetishes. When you fetish people for a certain attribute, you have to be able to see the person as something beyond just those attributes, and while I loathe to paraphrase Kant, you must see them as more than a means to an end but as an end in themself. See them as more than their sexuality or gender identity. When you can do that, you can fetishize yaoi without treating gay men like an object

Why would the authors being women change anything? Just because someone knows what they are doing doesn't mean that the actions of those affected by them are any different. You are also making generalizations about men who watch lesbian porn and I would say that women can also be that kind of toxic asshole. I know many women who fawn over tododeku and similar ships while proclaiming it "sinful" When you make these sorts of statements, your argument can seem kinda flimsy so keep that in mind for the future. I'm not trying to be antagonistic but I do hope that you strive to think critically on any bias you may have here and how that may affect the strength of your points.

I'm seeing a lot of people draw the comparison between queer and straight smut and I would like to remind you all that if you are not queer and you are purposefully seeking something out because it is queer then you are inherently taking a special interest in something for its queerness. If the piece of media makes an effort to sexualize (which doesn't necessarily have to be just ogling the physical) elements that are seen as exclusive to queer people, then the work is considered fetishistic. When people say that yaoi is fetishizing gay men, they are critiquing this aspect.

Not every straight man who watches lesbian porn is homophobic, porn is porn and stays in the realm of that when you come into reality, has nothing to do with their beliefs

I meant the authors (male/female) know they have a female audience. The reason I said this was because I didn't want anyone to think yaoi authors were creating works only to be used for a different purpose such as women getting turned on by them. Sorry if my statement about lesbian porn seemed to be a generalization, I know very well that not all men are homophobic. To clarify, I meant the problematic part of men watching lesbian porn was the fact that some of them are homophobic. I am part of the queer community myself so I never intended to offend anyone apart of it by fetishizing them. Fiction is fiction and as long as people don't confuse it with reality, I believe it's fine.

I don't want to make any assumptions but based on my understanding you're saying it's ok to be homophobic and continue to watch lesbian porn? Because that's absolutely not ok. Porn with real people is very different compared to drawings on a piece of paper.

Literally not what I said, watching lesbian or gay porn does not automatically make you homophobic, neither does reading yaoi or yuri because it’s all FICTION.

K Sorry about that but I just wanted you to clarify. I hope you didn't misunderstand me either because I don't believe that watching lesbian porn means you're always homophobic.

Yeah no prob

that’s sexist...

...I can't tell if you're kidding or not. It's literally a fact

What are you referring to?

The second part.

Oh, I can see where you are coming from on that. Read their reply to me, if you haven't already because they clarified what they were trying to say on that topic.

Ah, it’s undeniably obvious I hadn’t read through the replies. Thank you for clearing that up.

personally, I think you should make him come clear with his feelings. This kind of sounds like you are a back up for him, but like you described it, it seems you were never more than friends, so it is a little bit different. I would suggest talking to him and if he also fancies you, you could try dating each other, but if he beats around the bush or still acts the same as you described fuck him off for good(even though you never were a pair or fwb, still). I know it is hard since you still like him, but I do think it is more of a habit, rather than strong feelings since he seems to be pushing and pulling you. Of course, I can't know how you feel, but that is how it sounded to me. I hope I did not sound rude in any part, but I just think you need to have an earnest and transparent conversation with him.

ps don't let anybody lead you on. You will surely find a great boy one day if it does not work out with him (▰˘◡˘▰)

1) Were you okay with your friend telling him that? Sounds a bit like she ran off to tell him herself. But if she asked you and you were fine with it, then okay. But if she's over here telling him you like him without you being okay with it, that's not a friend. That's a drama-inducing lover.

2) He's not into you. He's had 3 girlfriends since you've known him. And he's about to have another girlfriend.

3) He sounds like a creep. Who the hell gets all handsy and kisses a person who is drunk? Lack of respect for your boundaries and feelings for him. Don't lower your standard for some creep.

4) Move on, girl. It's been 2 years, he's already had relationships. And as I said in point 3, he's a damn creep for doing those things to you while you're drunk. I don't know how you still feel safe around him, i sure as hell wouldn't. Cut him out, you deserve better than being someone's potential booty call.

Looks to me like the kind of guy who would make you jealous all the time. And that's if he doesn't straight up cheat on you. '^'