BosnianBL's Topics (169)

You're not alone. I'm an extrovert, but something traumatic happened in my life, and now I have a hard time talking with people and making friends. The only people I can talk to without having any problems is my family and children.

Also, I'm 22

I'm sorry about your difficult experiences. I understand a little bit of how you feel. I'm shy and I've moved a lot. I would finally manage to make a friend or two, but then my family would move again and the friendships I made would fade away as my friends would move on with their lives. I know it is very natural, but it still stings to be forgotten over and over.

There was a year when I was attending university, that even my roommates rarely spoke to me. I spoke so infrequently that when I started speaking more the next year, I literally had difficulties speaking and it made me feel stupid.

I've always had difficulties making and keeping friends, but things got quite a bit better when I started working at library when I graduated from college about 6 years ago. Being around people with similar interests made making friends considerably easier.

It wouldn't be easy at all, but is there a club at your university that you're interested in? Like a club for anime, manga, books, or something? It is a lot easier to make friends when you have common interests. I wish I would have joined something like that in college, because I felt so alone.

If this is unwanted advice, I apologise. I just want you to be happy and not feel so alone, because I know how much that sucks.

I won’t tell you things will get fully better because that completely disregards your experiences and I know as an extreme introvert myself that interacting with people is the hardest thing to overcome and feel hopeless and suffocating. However, I truly believe you’ll be able to overcome this isolation you’re feeling and find a path that will fulfill you, even while continuing to live with social anxiety for the rest of your life.

I might not know you, but the fact that you are here on this website rn embracing your interest in these stories tells me you have so much to share to offer to the world with your personal story. Even if you don’t feel like you have much to offer, you just pursuing your own interests and happiness is more than enough of a valid reason for you to continue existing. I can reassure you that there’s other’s like us out there that you’ll encounter with time and will be able to form meaningful relationships with (I also am in college, 21 yrs old, and love BL manga).

I don’t want to give unsolicited advice either, but I can also 100% vouch for the above advice to join a student club to meet others that have similar interests. From my experience, I joined a cultural club and had so many uncomfortable and awkward moments talking with people, but eventually met a group who I felt comfortable opening up to and now bond with over anime (not BL quite yet but progress!). There’s also a ton of online communities I’ve seen that exist on twitter, discord, and even on here. In my personal journey, having persistence in trying to interact with other, forgiving myself when I do fail and feel ashamed, and accepting my alone time as moments where I can fully invest in my interests and care for myself has definitely helped me overcome my personal loneliness and have a hopeful perspective on life.

I may not know you but I’m here for you. Please continue on and try your best to persist day by day with small goals and pursue the things you enjoy - you deserve it! I’ll be following this thread if you need someone to listen to you.

Though I have not personally pursued it, I think considering professional help from a therapist would be helpful and honestly necessary. I totally understand if it’s not an accessible nor comfortable option to pursue, but I would check out online services that do exist.

I apologise for taking this long to answer, I'm gonna go trough all the replies now

It's the same for me, I speak with like 6 people. And I don't shup up. But with everyone else I'm quiet. I didn't have a trauma or anything, I just slowly turned in what I am today

Thank you for understanding how I feel.
One of my biggest fears is moving somewhere. I always felt sorry for someone when I heard they moved a lot. I can't imagine myself meeting other people every few years.
I have a similar problem, I stutter a lot, especially when I talk in front of many people. That's one more reason I don't speak with others, cause I feel embarassed and stupid.
Unfortunately my university is a shithole because I live in a poor country. If there was something like a club or similar, I would literally live there (≧∀≦)
If I didn't want any advice, I wouldn't have written this, so thank you

Thank you for your kind words, they've made me cry ╥﹏╥
It means a lot to me that there's someone who understands my position.

I've tried communicating with people online. It's a lot easier than in person. In the last month or two I've unfollowed many accounts that make me feel worse, and tried following accounts that give advice how to love and forgive yourself.

I should have gone to a therapist years ago, I've been feeling like this since I was like 12,13. But I still depend on my parents, and when I told my mother years ago that I needed to go to a therapist she got really mad. I don't want that to happen again. Hopefully I'll stay alive till I finish my school, so I can go by myself.

I had to write this in two goes because I started crying too loud (≧∀≦)

Moving a lot was difficult, but there are some nice things about it. You get to meet some awesome people and if you want to, you can change how preset yourself (like how you dress, what you name you go by, or how you act); I never did, because I always was too scared to, but I thought about it. Another nice thing is no one could tease me about something I did when I was young, because no one knew me back then. Also, I am really good at answering those questions people ask you when they first meet you. After that, though, I have no clue. Moving is still not my favorite thing, but I tried to find the bright side of it for the sake of my sanity when I was growing up.

Darn. I was hoping your university had some fun clubs. Maybe you could join some study groups or find some study buddies in your classes? You would at least have the class in common to give you a starter subject. If you're lucky, you might have other things in common. Be careful if you do this, though, for the sake of your safety, though. It's best to meet in public places. (Sorry, I'm a bit of a worry-wart; I went to college with some weird people).

I read your responses to the other comments; it sounds like you are making some positive changes for your mental health. That's fantastic. I hope life gets better for you over time.

Thank you for responding.

I sometimes fanasized about moving somewhere for a new start, but I know I'm a coward and I would stay the same
Unfortunately there's like 15 people on the same classes, all of them already have "groups". The group I was "hanging out" between classes last year all dropped out(those fuckers

I've also thought of moving to have a new start, but I totally agree with you. I'd just be the same

I'm sorry. That sucks. That is how high school was for me. I spent a lot of time reading in the library during lunch break. Reading is probably one of the only things that has kept me sane during all of the rough times.

I looked at the sex scene again and now I think it's black hair, cause he is slightly darker than the MC, the gray hair is very pale, but idk. It's 50/50