I appreciate how the author lets us see so clearly each of their perspectives on the conflict they’re dealing with in their relationship. Usually stories like this lean heavily towards one interpretation, where person X is being selfish or inconsiderate towards person Y. But seeing Jaeyoung and Sangwoo’s perspectives back to back makes it hard to say that either of them was really wrong for feeling the way they did… they were just experiencing and interpreting the same relationship in vastly different ways.
Jaeyoung feels unappreciated, and it makes sense when we’ve seen how much he has adjusted for Sangwoo. But what gets me is that Sangwoo has been doing the exact same thing too, just in his own way. And to Sangwoo it seems genuinely shocking to realize that the compromises he thought he was making weren’t as obvious to Jaeyoung as he believed. Neither of them were necessarily withholding love or being selfish… they just weren’t always recognizing the way the other person was giving it.
In the end though, both of them showed a willingness to compromise because making the relationship work mattered more than being proven right. I was especially a bit teary-eyed when Sangwoo started taking down his rule sheets. Because these were things that in his mind were relatively small and reasonable requests, but once he realized that Jaeyoung experienced them as overbearing he was willing to reconsider them.
I don’t know if Sangwoo being on the spectrum is ever explicitly canon so I don’t wanna state it as fact, but he does seem to be written with traits that can be read that way. Especially his rigidity, his reliance on structure and routine and how he sometimes struggles with social and emotional cues. And if you read him through that lens… idk, that scene becomes even more affecting to me. For some people on the spectrum routines and rules aren’t just preferences, they can be what gives them predictability and a sense of security in a world that can sometimes be difficult to interpret.
That’s why watching Sangwoo take those rules down felt both heartwarming but also strangely sad to me. It’s beautiful because he’s choosing to be vulnerable and willing to loosen his grip on things that make him feel secure because he loves Jaeyoung enough to meet him somewhere in the middle. But there’s also something kinda bittersweet about watching someone realize that the way they naturally navigate the world might feel restrictive to the person they love…
Social cues and those unspoken emotional expectations might come more naturally to Jaeyoung, while Sangwoo often has to consciously learn and figure them out. So for him compromise isn’t necessarily just changing a habit. Sometimes it means stepping away from structures that make him feel safe and just trusting that the person he loves will meet him there too. And idk… when you think about it that way, it makes something as simple as him taking down those rule sheets feel so much heavier.
Yeah as someone on the spectrum seeing everyone hate on sangwoo at one point was kinda a lot lol cause i always got where he was coming from. Ppl really don't realise the level of accommodation we're always making for other ppl in daily life, so honestly what feels like an equal compromise in relationships can easily feel to us like we're getting the short end of the stick, because we just have so many more sensory difficulties that have to be overcome to be perceived as normal and not a burden to other people. It's also not a nice feeling to think you make things difficult for your partner without even realising and in a way that can't really be helped. I think this is all part of what makes neurotypical / neurodivergent relationships so difficult, because our brains are truly not wired the same and it can be very hard to understand each other properly. I do appreciate jaeyoung a lot for that because at least he tries
As someone with adhd, I do relate a lot with Jaeyoung, and I also see that the accommodations that he is making might be huge for him, or constantly being reminded that what he is doing is not enough can hurt especially hard. I find them both annoying in their own special way as characters <3 so it's not like I’m taking sides here, but I think it is important to consider this when talking about Jy (as something that is not implicitly stated, but it might be par of his character as well); and also, it's important for anyone, regardless of the spectrum to which they belong, to learn to coexist with other, so this is like a grate low-stakes/safe environment for both, but in this case Sangwoo, to learn to be more flexible and have more variety with his different strategies to approach social interactions.
As someone with adhd, I do relate a lot with Jaeyoung, and I also see that the accommodations that he is making might be huge for him, or constantly being reminded that what he is doing is not enough can hurt e... Hakunaurtatas
Omg if nd/nt is difficult, autism/adhd in a relationship might actually kill me
Yeah as someone on the spectrum seeing everyone hate on sangwoo at one point was kinda a lot lol cause i always got where he was coming from. Ppl really don't realise the level of accommodation we're always mak... Kattty
So sorry you have to deal with this all the time. It’s easy to see how hard you’ve been trying to make things work, and I know it’s a constant struggle. All I can really do is cheer you on from afar and hope things get a little easier even just for a tiny bit.
I’m so glad a character like Sangwoo was created and that his characterization wasn’t changed just to please the fans. We need more characters like him to shed light on the very real issues and struggles that people on the spectrum go through.
Made an account solely for the purpose of venting whenever I damn well please.
And let's address the hypocrisy, shall we? Spare me the "I hate this," "this is disgusting," and "people who enjoy this are weird" nonsense when you're still glued to the story like it's your lifeline. Seriously, who are you trying to fool with that act?
I appreciate how the author lets us see so clearly each of their perspectives on the conflict they’re dealing with in their relationship. Usually stories like this lean heavily towards one interpretation, where person X is being selfish or inconsiderate towards person Y. But seeing Jaeyoung and Sangwoo’s perspectives back to back makes it hard to say that either of them was really wrong for feeling the way they did… they were just experiencing and interpreting the same relationship in vastly different ways.
Jaeyoung feels unappreciated, and it makes sense when we’ve seen how much he has adjusted for Sangwoo. But what gets me is that Sangwoo has been doing the exact same thing too, just in his own way. And to Sangwoo it seems genuinely shocking to realize that the compromises he thought he was making weren’t as obvious to Jaeyoung as he believed. Neither of them were necessarily withholding love or being selfish… they just weren’t always recognizing the way the other person was giving it.
In the end though, both of them showed a willingness to compromise because making the relationship work mattered more than being proven right. I was especially a bit teary-eyed when Sangwoo started taking down his rule sheets. Because these were things that in his mind were relatively small and reasonable requests, but once he realized that Jaeyoung experienced them as overbearing he was willing to reconsider them.
I don’t know if Sangwoo being on the spectrum is ever explicitly canon so I don’t wanna state it as fact, but he does seem to be written with traits that can be read that way. Especially his rigidity, his reliance on structure and routine and how he sometimes struggles with social and emotional cues. And if you read him through that lens… idk, that scene becomes even more affecting to me. For some people on the spectrum routines and rules aren’t just preferences, they can be what gives them predictability and a sense of security in a world that can sometimes be difficult to interpret.
That’s why watching Sangwoo take those rules down felt both heartwarming but also strangely sad to me. It’s beautiful because he’s choosing to be vulnerable and willing to loosen his grip on things that make him feel secure because he loves Jaeyoung enough to meet him somewhere in the middle. But there’s also something kinda bittersweet about watching someone realize that the way they naturally navigate the world might feel restrictive to the person they love…
Social cues and those unspoken emotional expectations might come more naturally to Jaeyoung, while Sangwoo often has to consciously learn and figure them out. So for him compromise isn’t necessarily just changing a habit. Sometimes it means stepping away from structures that make him feel safe and just trusting that the person he loves will meet him there too. And idk… when you think about it that way, it makes something as simple as him taking down those rule sheets feel so much heavier.
Yeah as someone on the spectrum seeing everyone hate on sangwoo at one point was kinda a lot lol cause i always got where he was coming from. Ppl really don't realise the level of accommodation we're always making for other ppl in daily life, so honestly what feels like an equal compromise in relationships can easily feel to us like we're getting the short end of the stick, because we just have so many more sensory difficulties that have to be overcome to be perceived as normal and not a burden to other people. It's also not a nice feeling to think you make things difficult for your partner without even realising and in a way that can't really be helped. I think this is all part of what makes neurotypical / neurodivergent relationships so difficult, because our brains are truly not wired the same and it can be very hard to understand each other properly. I do appreciate jaeyoung a lot for that because at least he tries
As someone with adhd, I do relate a lot with Jaeyoung, and I also see that the accommodations that he is making might be huge for him, or constantly being reminded that what he is doing is not enough can hurt especially hard. I find them both annoying in their own special way as characters <3 so it's not like I’m taking sides here, but I think it is important to consider this when talking about Jy (as something that is not implicitly stated, but it might be par of his character as well); and also, it's important for anyone, regardless of the spectrum to which they belong, to learn to coexist with other, so this is like a grate low-stakes/safe environment for both, but in this case Sangwoo, to learn to be more flexible and have more variety with his different strategies to approach social interactions.
Omg if nd/nt is difficult, autism/adhd in a relationship might actually kill me
So sorry you have to deal with this all the time. It’s easy to see how hard you’ve been trying to make things work, and I know it’s a constant struggle. All I can really do is cheer you on from afar and hope things get a little easier even just for a tiny bit.
I’m so glad a character like Sangwoo was created and that his characterization wasn’t changed just to please the fans. We need more characters like him to shed light on the very real issues and struggles that people on the spectrum go through.