LoverOfGoodWriting

You can't go wrong with childhood friends so I like it, tho I think the 12yr age gap is kinda insane, maybe 8 or 10 I could do I guess, but 12 really is pushing it. I really liked their dynamic and it was really cute. Although only in fiction, if this played out irl I would find it heavily morally and ethically dubious. I actually did enjoy it and I liked the art style too. However, I think it didn't really depict the black haired dude as an actual grown 30 year old man. For one, he looks really young like he looks like blond dudes ages, which makes the 12yr age gap seem like nothing since the audience has no visual cues that remind us of their crazy age gap. Then towards the end he kinda talks like a prude and it irked me, because he's a grown ass man and he can't find it in himself to say "I like you" or "I love you " or properly ask his crush out. He's always blushing too and stuttering, which I'm not saying 30yrs couldn't act like this, it's just that he doesn't seem like the older one in a way. Like maybe this is me being too judgmental, but for someone his age and 12 years older than his bf, I'd expect a bit more decisiveness and maturity. Also, he kissed the younger one while he was inebriated and the manhwa never addresses it again. He also kinda irked me when he said he liked blond ml more than him when he himself has never once uttered the word "I love you" and also the fact that blond ml has loved him his ENTIRE life whereas he only liked him for a while (hopefully or else he'd be a pedophile lol). Then I also disliked the way he gave the rings, like it's not like we saw them actually have sex so there was no romantic tone at all and the wake-up scene is something we already saw before so this entire setup was so plain and boring and didn't need to happen. It could've happened before, and we could've seen black haired ml appear as how blond ml sees him and finally professes his love for his next door neighbour, but instead we just see a bumbling idiot in his underwear. I'm being too harsh I know, but I just feel as if the author created the perfect atmosphere already with the date and yet they discarded that whole setup for nothing. Like they had an entire meeting over the date and what? He "proposes" the next day in their underwear rather than after their date when they were both dressed up and had the time of their lives?

But overall I did like it

Jesus fucking christ. This manhwa is genuinely just a fucking ride.

I'm not someone into toxic shit, initially it started off toxic but I thought after we saw Siwon get more affrctionate, that the manhwa would start and say "oh he was never bad, just misunderstood" because honestly I lack faith in manhwa writers now. But boy was I wrong. Siwon is genuinely fucked up in the head and it's clear the years of familial abuse, neglect, and emotional abandonment has taken a tremendous toll on the way he perceives love and empathy. I truly do think Siwon loves Sunwoo, but his definition of love is more primal and it feels like a necessity to live. His love is based on fear and his anxious desire to feel needed. He genuinely need help, but I also don't see him improving in any meaningful way since he's unreceptive to other people's emotions and I think the concept of therapy and empathy would genuinely baffle him. I also commend the writer since I genuinely hated and loved and hated him, just like Sunwoo did throughout this all. I think he's genuinely fucked up again, like he's so possessive and obsessed to the point that he's maintaining this relationship with Sunwoo despite both of them actively hurting from the relationship. And it's not like he could pull away, because even if he wanted to, I think he's developed a disorder of some kind that can't live without Sunwoo. Mental illness type shit. Anyway, I seriously hate him and the fact that he keeps getting in the way of Sunwoo's relationships with everyone else like I'm so fucking irritated and I feel my blood pressure rise.

All that said though, I absolutely love Sunwoo because he does see love and understands that what Siwon is doing isn't normal. He stands up for himself, he's empathetic, he's kind and trusting. I genuinely really appreciate that he stands up for himself, and this isn't to victim blame any other victims who couldn't, this is me saying that I despise it when authors remove the characters autonomy to the point the character continues to appease them all while fully believing what they're feeling for their torturer is love. Sunwoo isn't that. He sees through Siwon, he understands him, and despite all his love and trust, he still hates him, which I absolutely love. He actively pushes back physically or not, and even when he surrenders, it's to punish Siwon. Sunwoo truly is such a strong character and I continue to love every appearance he makes and I'm so glad he's the mc. If it were anyone else, they would've just loved Siwon and ignored all the abuse, but Sunwoo doesn't!!! I love a conscious, empathetic main character.

I love Yeoungjin too!! He's an amazing friend, and he has consistently attempted to help Sunwoo, even risking beatings just to stay by his side. I love their relationship, how he keeps trying fully knowing that he could be in danger. I freaking love him I hope we get a story focused on him one day. I seriously appreciate what he does for Sunwoo, teaching him self-defense, letting him be his shoulder to lean on. He's the one pure character in this manhwa and I hope nothing bad happens to him because it just can't to the one good guy in this entire story.

Love this manhwa so far despite Siwon pissing me the fuck off!!! I hope to see where it goes, and I'm curious as to how the author could ever repair Sunwoo and Siwon's relationship. Personally, I find it hard to ever forgive Siwon even if he ends up changing and growing.