Meru21's activites

All around, I've always liked the concept of this story. One fully transgressed, the other not quite so. Would they---could they do things differently to create a happy outcome?
After the past four years (some spent translating this for you all), I went through quite the upheaval. My 11-year relationship came to an end. Thw surgeries I had caused disconnect and stagnation in my life. Depression overwhelmed me and I was left bereft with the neglect of my fiance. It drove me, much like Aeroc, to try and kill myself 2 years ago. Because I couldn't come to terms with the fact that I didn't love him anymore. He was my reason to get out of bed, to try each day. And he treated me like a blow-up doll to relieve himself, even when I said no, he would deny me even the barest of affections, like hugs. I died on the inside. And after being 51/50'd, I tried so hard to love him again for another full year. Until I just couldn't. Until I was methyl enough to get a job again, to not be isolated. And then someone came along and treated me like I was human, like I mattered. But still I tried with my ex. 11 years is hard to give up. But when the "yearly anniversary" as he called it or my attempt came around, he forced himself in me (2025 August ,to the day of my attempt) and I just couldn't anymore. I kicked him out and found myself a place. We'd been broken up since may of 2025 and in December I started dating someone else. His bare minimum is what my ex considered spoiling. The way he looks at me makes me want to cry because he loves me the way I loved my ex. Unconditionally, with adoration, with gratitude. I found my closure with my ex, I did. But I know had I the choice to do it all again, I would choose him. Part of me wonders, wishes that we could turn back time a fix it. That I could wake up one day and not be scared of him anymore, that I was okay with being touched. But that's not how we work, is it? And everyone says I'm better off without him. Maybe I am. But it doesn't mean I don't miss him everyday. It doesn't mean I haven't forgiven him his transgressions. He is a good person who did bad things because he can't regulate his emotions. It doesn't excuse it. It doesn't make it better. But I understand why and what his reasons were. Like Clough/Kloff. He was so overwhelmed in the moment he literally couldn't think straight or hear me, and so he hurt me. And now we suffer the consequences of that. Long lasting and damaging. And as much as I love my new beau, as much as I hope I can give him all of me as I did my ex, I know I cannot. And I war with myself. If I could go back, would I try and fix it, or would I try and find my current love and go from there? Did I need to go through my ex to become what I needed to be for my new beau? I don't know. I really don't. But I wonder, if I went back far enough, if I could fix it. Could I stop him from changing into someone I no longer recognized? Could I have been strong enough, brave enough to voice my fears and emotions? Or was it inevitable that we ended like this? I don't know, and that haunts me every night.

I'm sensing a ghostly blow job or ghost sex coming soon. And I'm betting that's how Adrian in realy life is going to figure out it's her. Lol

I literally just broke up with my bf today. Joo, go fix it! Don't let him walk away. Is it worth losing him? Is it?
I don't have those answers. I got into a relationship I wasnt ready for after the break down of one that lasted 11 years. I need answers I can't find on my own. I have trauma I have to fix on my own that bled into our relationship. I kept hurting him and, although he said he'll wait for me, I don't know what's going to happen with my ex, so I feel like shit the whole way around. Even so, sometimes we don't have the answers and the best thing you can do is step away or let someone go in order to find those answers.

Seems rather unnecessary. Could have easy ended in all in a few more chapters.

Sir Kin can't die! Dammit, Mataaz is going to kill him, I just know it

Just say your rank already and be done with it

...

When did Jihyuk get so small? He was never shoulders and head shorter than either of them. I HATE it when the author/artist does that. They just make the guy all cutesy and feminine and small, like that's all bottoms. He was a good height and looked like a normal guy. Why change that?! It changes the entire dynamic evtween everyone and it just doesn't suit.

Pretty sure Biyeon was the dragon's lover reborn. She probably was the reason why the dragon lost her heart too, which would explain why she's allowing this ritual to take place. I also wouldn't be surprised if she had the scale inside her as well. I'm better, too, that Unha saves Biyeon by sacrificing herself but Haesu does the same and they both die at the hands of Jueon. Something along those lines. I feel bad for all of them. But I'm wondering what happened to Biyeon so that she wasn't reborn, because she's not part of the modern story. Maybe that's what Jueon wants; for Unha to remember that Biyeon died because of her so that he can kill her and finally have his revenge...? Fascinating story.

Carlyle, a non-dominant Alpha born in an aristocratic Alpha family, had difficulty having a mandator...

Shes not an A cup. She's a C. A small C, but a C, nontheless.

He just doesn't learn. He doesn't learn at all. Even the hard way. This is the most dense ML I've ever come across

It seems no one else saw Jiheon at the Cafe "reading" a book right before Jueun took off to Anna's

Maybe Ido has been wanting revenge this whole time. What if he's been building Sejin up only to kill himself in order to make Sejin feel the way he felt in their past loves? Or he could be hella depressed and coming to understand why Sejin did what he did. Guilt does a lot of horrible things to a person. I hope neither of these options are true, but who knows. I've got a bad feeling, though.

....that that went a little too easily??

This is the epitome of "damned if you do, damned if you don't". The seme is going to be crushed when he finds out what he's done. I don't think that Ahjin will recover from this. He's been utterly destroyed mentally, physically and emotionally by the seme. I hope that when he tells the seme that he hates him (no doubt he will), that it breaks the seme. It's the least he deserves for what he's done.

While she did make a point that MH is using her for money, it doesn't make him any less a victim. She's blackmailing him using his mother's life as collateral. "Marry me or your mother will die." And then raping him? So disgusting. I almost threw up at that chapter. I had to skip a lot of it. I never wish for harm to come to people, but her? I hope she gets hit by a car. But, what i don't get, MH forgets that he can always just divorce her once the bills are paid off. Just leave. The contract will be over. She paid for the medical, he married her. Contract over. Bargain upheld. Just divorce and get an RO. She'll have nothing on him at that point. And what's she goin to do? Tell the lawyers about their deal? Land herself in jail? I mean, I have a feeling she's going to hire someone to try and take out the little brother after he interferes, and that will put her in jail, but who knows.....

I wonder if someone kisses him, he'll turn into a humanoid.

So freaking cute! I bet He Tian is crying with joy right now.

I bet that Jichan and the beta (whose name escapes me) would have been natural fated pairs if Mido hadn't changed everyone's secondary gender.