gloomurai's Questions (18)

Things change, and that's really scary and hard to deal with. No matter what, you need to do what is best for yourself so you can keep on living. Be selfish. If he's not supporting you anymore, maybe you should leave him. I don't know exactly what kind of situation you're in, but you should always do what makes you happy. It's always okay to change your mind about something, no matter how many years it has been. Of course change will be hard and almost unbearable, but it may be necessary. You really have to pursue happiness. It obviously won't just be sitting there waiting for you, it's going to be running through mountains and storms and stuff. It's seriously never too late to change your life plan...unless you're like 97 or something, in which case I'd say to just wait it out... But if you're someone under age 80, you can do something!!! There is no potential waiting for you in death!!!! Go through hardships, they shape you into your own person. Experiences will make you into a strong person that others can look up to. Be strong, you can get through all of this. Don't live your life for others, live your life for you. Sorry if I'm annoying for butting in, but I felt like I needed to say something. I believe in you.

Please please please please keep on living. Even if you are going through hell keep going. If you lived for others before you can start living for yourself. Everything can be ok. Please, if you need someone to talk to you can talk to me or someone else who has more experience. Find joy in the very small things first, like the sunrise or the smell of flowers or coffee. But please just keep going. It will be okay

I hope that you are still there to read this. You may now think there is nothing more you can do for yourself, but that is wrong. It’s true that you may not have been with the right people that should have supported you from the very beginning, but the fact that you have realize that you want a change is something many people never actually realize on time. You are strong enough to admit your pain, you can make a change in your life starting now. Look for what makes you happy, because once you can be satisfied with yourself and how you are living your life, let me tell you that you will always be glad that you didn’t decide to take your life away from you. Please, continue living. Life is not always beautiful and our plans not always work the way we want them to, but the idea of keep trying is what will make you stronger than how you already are. To finish, let me tell you something maybe you have not heard in a while: I am here for you. No matter what you like or want. No matter if we actually not know each other. But I am here for you. You are not alone, I can promise you that.

Please don’t hurt your self anymore it pains me too see you get hurt even if we don’t know each other. it still hurts me, and it hurts too see that nobody is there for you! It pains me, because you seem like a Caring person, and a kind person so don’t hurt your self okej? I know in life people around you are changing step by step, and you will feel a little lonely about it, but be selfish and do thinks you like to do, go whit you’re closest friends shopping, going to the movies or eating out, or?.. and if you see that he doesn’t care do the same even more that he will change, or if you see that he is still nagging go away or you just talk(nag) back, let him see that you are enjoying your self without him, than you will see him progressing, but please dear don’t hurt your self anymore because of others. They don’t need to hurt you like that and push you in that position, they don’t even deserve you at all, so be selfish and let them be and chose for your own self,... it’s better dat you are doing fine than be a sandbag off others, if you are doing things for your own than i think it will all will go fine and smoothly I d’ont wat you think of all this!?

holy crap, don't kill yourself, please. I've also felt at times what if I kill myself. Yet, what always stops me is the people I love being devastated and left behind. You say your friends aren't there? you say your husband isn't understanding? BULLSHIT. They are and they would be heartbroken if you just offed yourself. You seem depressed, but I can't make that judgement as I'm not a professional, so talk to a professional. OR better yet, actually tell your husband you need help instead of telling him help with your eyes. Humans cannot understand others when they don't communicate with words. So start talking about your insecurities, worries, loneliness to the people closest to you. It takes a huge burden off you, it certainly has when I actually opened myself up to people. That will help them understand your pain, and they will do something for you.

The reason he nags you about not cutting yourself, is because that is a serious fucking issue. He nags because he loves you and doesn't want to see you putting pain upon yourself. But, how can he stop you, when you go on cutting yourself anyway? The fact you cannot see this, he really loves you, scares me for your sake. Really talk to people. ANYONE.

But, the only true answer I can give for you to stop spiraling down this dark road is to LIVE LIFE.
There is so much in life, even when you think it hasn't much to offer. It does. I never thought anime and manga would save me from developing depression, but it has. I found an interest which is art from anime and now I have a goal in life, even when I strongly believe life is shit. So, find an interest: gardening, sewing, fishing, arcade games, reading, rock climbing, anything!!!! Go meet other people with the same interests. Find new friends and chill with them. You can escape the loneliness!!!!

Life is a bitch, it's hard and painful but it's worth fighting for what you want and be happy for achieving what you want. It's awesome to know that if you work really hard you can get whatever you want and you can love yourself a bit more everytime because you know how well paid off were your deeds.

It must be really hard to study something for the sake of your husband... I don't understand your reasons, but have you ever thought that the one getting a job that you don't like is you?
Like, don't make such huge sacrifices for others because they won't appreciate it as much as you're suffering. I mean sure he might be a little bit happy for you but if you don't clearly state to him that you don't really like that career and that you're having a bad time the guy might never know how tough it is for you to do that for him.

Also, I believe your husband just doesn't know what to do to help you and the guy is most likely frustrated, the best he can do is just say "don't cut yourself" as if it were that easy... I just wish he did more for you, like propose to go to a psychologist together and support you but he isn't understanding what you're going through >_<

Anyway, back to what you said first... Why don't you make this a new start for yourself? Make that your purpose, you , YOUR HAPPINESS. Abandon that career and don't waste your time, specially if you already know what you would really like to study. Study for yourself, study and work hard to be happy for yourself , and when your happy with yourself you might share that happiness with your husband.

Start living for yourself , start saying "no" to your husband if it's making you upset, don't just accept everything as it comes.

Let me put it this way, if you don't make something to change what you are uncomfortable with the problem will start to ball up and you will have to deal later with it , but it'll be when it's more complicated than it used to be.

So please, try to solve your things before they reach that stage, as soon as you find something is wrong try to search a solution. Try to communicate what you think it's wrong too, tell your husband if something is not working with the way he's behaving. If he understands good, if he doesn't... Well he has to make a goddamn effort to understand too.

But if he doesn't, don't waste your time with him, you are first, and you don't need someone who doesn't make the same effort you do for them. Because if not now, in the future you will be strong and you won't have to depend on ANYONE.

So please, I hope you live for yourself. It's your life and you can do whatever you want with it, even end it, but it would be so painful to know that the most decided you were to change something about your life would be precisely to decide to end it...

Good luck. I hope you make the decision a decision that makes you happy.

Sorry that it came under your reaction

thank you all, of all posts i made on this website my "suicide note" was the one who got most comments... im happy to see that are people caring so deeply about someone worthless as me, but letting the drama aside... im really grateful for your words and everything, but i wont lie because i will still be by this website saying how i want to die, so even if your words makes me happy, its wont do nothing for me, im still the same and nothing has changed. there wasnt a single day in my life i wished i was alive, i dont like anything enough to make it worth living... i cant do my best, making efforts makes me wanna die more. ik its ridiculous, but its how i am, theres no salvation for me. i tried making a effort for the past 7 years, but i still want to die.
we cant be friends because i cant keep friends, they all get tired of me with time, most of the times we dont even get close to being friends. but if you wanna try, come talk to me.
i wont kill myself, because atm i dont have how, but really, thank you all for caring about me and for saying such nice things. (๑•ㅂ•)و✧

Oof all my friends don't know I read yaoi. I've been having the urge to just send them some weird shit lmao.

dont do that iwejiwed

i have the game but im still playing the first one
┗( T﹏T )┛i knew the game but not exactly the story line lmao

the story is hard, i mean, i played all the games except for recoded and recently watched a video explaining the story and there were things i didn't know... its very confusing too

Compartilhar histórias lava a alma: não guarda pra você não, linda!
Você tem condição financeira pra procurar um psicólogo?

I understand how you feel, I'm also going through my own emotional turmoil and feel lost, lonely and sad...I've tried to kill myself once and failed...I don't want to put my love one through that again, so I suffer quietly and try to enjoy the little things in life and be grateful.But at this point I feel as though I'm just waiting to die.I know this'll probably sound hypocritical, but remember you are important and you do have people who care about you.Take one day at a time, cry if you have to...but know this to will pass

The first time I tried to kill myself was when I was 8. I have tried multiple times but failed. Never went to hospital because I already know how to treat most of the injuries.(If the blood loss was too much, I would just say I am sick and sleep through the whole day) So no one knows what I go through. I am not lonely. Instead, talking to people is what often gives me urges to kill myself. I don't hate people, I just dislike being around them. I think I am depressed, suicidal, introverted (more like antisocial) and get mild panic attacks in extremely crowded and open spaces. I just wanted to share my experience when I read your comment. Sorry.

FHOHOH LINDA? eu sou homem, to~li~nho! ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~
eu vou ao psiquiatra... obrigado por perder seu tempo lendo meu desabafo!

ou tolinha, né... vai saber dhaohah

aw thank you... but i dont think this will pass, i'm feeling like that since i was really young and i still feel like it... even so, thank you, i will remember the rest.

you knew how to treat your wounds with 8 yo? i admire you, i'm sorry for everything you are passing, thank you for reading and, i'm glad you put it all out here. take care. (づ￣ ³￣)づ

My ongoing omegaverse list. http://www.mangago.me/home/mangalist/313975/

aaaaand my list ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶ http://www.mangago.me/home/mangalist/404409/

thaaanks bae i will look it up (づ￣ ³￣)づ

thanks thanks thanks!!! (๑•ㅂ•)و✧

:)

http://www.mangago.me/home/mangalist/266599/ here's my list if you want it :)

ε=ε=(ノ≧∇≦)ノ thaaanks darliiing

ff

um wtf? irl or sext?

Sext of course

ahhh, I would sext but two bottoms don't work together. whoops

Try reading ran and the grey world. Its a choujo complete series. (▰˘◡˘▰)

Thanks, i will try!

http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/yondaime_ooyamato_tatsuyuki/

http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/ore_no_ushiro_ni_tatsu_na/

http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/the_miscreant_next_door/

http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/boku_no_ganko_oyaji/

http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/hydromance/ (in appearance, anyway)

Following :3 pairs like that can be so cute >w<

Ffs

I just looked through my tags, it's really not easy to find... those somehow fit:
http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/kiss_shite_yowamushi_kun/ uke is much taller but shy & weak xD or so
http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/ore_no_ushiro_ni_tatsu_na/ uke is much stronger and also taller than seme... this author's works can be a bit ducked up though, you've been warned xD

Seme is much taller but shy and weak* for first one

ff

http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/a_song_of_blood_and_fire/

http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/strawberry_combat/
http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/scratch_blue/
http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/ookami_san_to_eroi_koto/
http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/boku_no_shiru_anata_no_hanashi/
http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/swift_as_lightning/
http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/ijiwaru_shinai_de_dakishimete/
If you want more tell me

Omg sorry wrong place'-'

ALL SCARLET BERIKO-SENSEI'S WORK