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Chart-topper Vtuber Mayo, contrary to his bright and healing celebrity persona, is a deep-dyed pessi...

Thought you guys might want to know so you can judge for yourself if you wish to continue the story or drop it.

I needed to get this out of my system so badly because I was so fucking frustrated with the story. I want to hug my girl Iyeon and also SHAKE HER HARD FOR NOT MAKING HIM SUFFER/GROVEL HARDER.



Despicable things Chaewoo did to Iyeon once he recovered his memories:

⬤ Sexually assaulted her several times:
➤ Made her throat bleed from a rough blowjob. Iyeon volunteered to give him a bj but he was so rough and uncaring about her wellbeing and feelings. He fucked her throat so hard he made her throat bleed. He wounded her throat. That's SA. He fucked her mouth beyond her comfort level and physical limits until her throat bled.

⋙Novel excerpt: “Her throat tingled as she fought the urge to vomit. She slowly poked her tongue around the inside of her ravaged mouth, trying to ignore the metallic smell of blood.”

➤ She didn't want to have sex and wanted to sleep. She keeps saying go to sleep. But he sticks his fingers inside her vagina anyway even when she's not wet! She's dry!

⋙Novel excerpt: “The inner wall, which is not even wet yet, swallows its finger well to the end of the root, but she pushes him away.”


⬤ Demeaned her and treated her carelessly like she was an object: Iyeon didnt want to have sex and wanted to have a shower first because she was sweaty. He took her to the bathroom and sprayed her with strong water pressure like she was a dog until she was sputtering.

⋙Novel excerpt:
"Despite her protests, Chaewoo put Leeyoen down, turned on the shower and began spraying her with water..."
"The water pressure was strong and left a painful tingling sensation all over her body."
"She closed her eyes and mouth tightly and held out her arms as if trying to hold back the water..."
"ChaeWoo mercilessly kept the stream pointed toward her."


⬤ Caused an explosion that made Iyeon hit her head on some rocks and lose consciousness. He deliberately knew that Iyeon would get hurt from the explosion but didn't bother to take her somewhere safe. He left her and just allowed her to get caught in the explosion. He was literally in the same space as she was when it happened. He had time to take her somewhere safe but didn't do it. He wanted her to get hurt.

⋙Novel excerpt: “”Chae-woo!” Lee-yeon called, but there was no use. He turned away from her. Then, boom! She covered her head at the unexpected explosion... Lee-yeon looked back at the place where Kwon Chae-woo had been. He was gone. The last thing she remembered was being pushed forward by the waves. Thanks to the growing pain she felt from the moment she opened her eyes, she was certain she’d definitely hit her chin on some rocks as she fell. She had no idea how she’d made it out alive.”


⬤ Destroyed the orchestra ensemble in the forest that she prepared for him which was also her entry for the Hwaidome 4th trial. He intentionally ruined her chances at the competition. After she got so far in the competition :( He knew how hard she worked for it. He was literally by her side throughout her journey :( and yet he did not spare her a second thought before destroying her hard work.


⬤ In the same scene, he strangles her just like how he strangled her in Ch1.

⋙Novel excerpt: “The hand that was suddenly gripping her neck tightened. Her voice burst out desperately. Lee-yeon grabbed his wrist tightly, her face turning blue as she struggled to breathe.”


⬤ Poisoned and killed the sacred 500 year old spirit tree that Iyeon was taking care of. HE KNEW JUST HOW IMPORTANT THAT TREE IS TO IYEON AND HE INTENTIONALLY KILLED IT TO HURT HER. That tree was entrusted to Iyeon by the villagers. So when the villagers found it dead, they were angry at Iyeon and called her a quack and attacked her!


⬤ Allowed her to be physically beaten and verbally abused by the angry villagers. Watched her get assaulted by a mob with a pleased look on his face as the angry villagers physically and verbally attacked Iyeon for the tree he killed.

⋙Novel excerpt: "His indifferent gaze seemed somehow pleased. Despite having her hair pulled, her neck scratched, and even falling to the ground from the rough touches of the people, he just watched idly.


⬤ Destroyed her garden and trashed her home. After the villagers assaulted her, she went home and discovered that Chaewoo had his men trash her home and garden.

⋙Novel excerpt: “After Kwon Chae-woo left and she returned home with a messed up body and mind, the front yard was completely overturned as if a wild animal had gone through it. The living room was dirty with footprints, and broken flower pots and vases were scattered around the house. She didn’t see it but men came to her house while she was gone and destroyed everything they could see.”

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·


And those are just the highlights! Throughout the arc he was verbally, mentally, and physically hurting her.

All throughout this arc I was mourning Amnesiac Chaewoo so hard i kept thinking "Amnesiac Chaewoo would never do this to her!". Bc Amnesiac Chaewoo may be pushy but he always considered her feelings and emotions :( he was affectionate and caring!

This Evil Chaewoo never considered her at all during this entire arc. Even Iyeon mentions it when she starts to notice him changing. Novel excerpt: "You used to react very sensitively to my feelings!”

I know he is a black flag but for me the things he did were too cruel. Despite the redemption arc, I don't think it was enough to forgive him. He is downright unredeemable to me.

I seriously don't think they should've gotten back together. Also Iyeon was not mean and harsh enough to him during his groveling arc. I wanted her to treat him like trash that he is! And he was still forceful and stubborn and kept invading her personal space when he was asking for her forgiveness. He was so pushy to have Iyeon forgive him when he doesn't deserve it at all.


· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

A FEW “GROVELING” ARC SPOILERS (will not spoil everything in this arc bc a ton of stuff happens! And i cant remember everything exactly bc theres so much! BUT it all happens in JUST 1 month during her contract at the Kwon estate. And yes, she forgives him during this 1 month. After all the shit he put her through, she allows him back in her life after just 1 month of "groveling"...)


⬤ Only seriously apologized when he found out she was pregnant
(Ofc the FL doesnt forgive him on the spot. And he spends more time trying to get back to her good graces. But still? You only doubled down on apologizing to her after discovering shes pregnant?)

⋙I find it a bit distasteful that when he found out she was pregnant that's when he broke down and started begging for forgiveness. It felt disingenuous to me bc it felt like he only wanted her back seriously bc she was useful again (yknow carrying his child/heir and everything). Hurts alot bc when they broke up he told her she was useless to him. He had a realization that Iyeon was ready to move on with her life with their child without him, and he didnt want that.

⋙He can't stand that she was ignoring him and treating him indifferently (as she should after you were so cruel to her!) Classic trash male behavior that they start losing their mind when you stop giving them attention.

⬤ Prior to finding out she was pregnant, his amnesiac personality's memories and feelings merged with his killer personality which made him very confused with his feelings. He has a brief moment of reflection over his terrible actions but he still doesn't say sorry to her out of pride (that bastard!) when he had the chance to speak to her at the Kwon estate. They have a forced proximity shit thing bc Iyeon was brought to ML's home bc of his evil brother. She's there on contract to fix the gardens. When ML sees her in person that's when his conflicting feelings and memories start haunting him.

⬤ ML starts bothering FL and following her around. FL is determined to ignore him and the ML (that fucking bastard i want to kill him) doesn't like that she is ignoring him and appears to not be thinking about him anymore.

⋙Novel excerpt: "Right here, right now, I'm going to discard all the memories associated with you."
⋙ChaeWoo says this to her before he left her to the angry villagers,
⋙So why the fuck should she give him any attention at all?

⬤ But the real turning point IMO was when he found out she was pregnant. She got sick while working there and the attending doctor found out. That's the first time we saw him begging her for forgiveness. He had many opportunities to apologize to her before he discovered her pregnancy, but he didnt because of his pride.

It makes me think if she weren't pregnant would he even bother to beg for her forgiveness?


· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

I really hope the artist takes artistic liberties and that they would not adapt every crime that Chaewoo commits against the FL in this manhwa. Bc the groveling/redemption arc in the novel was just not enough to make up for the severity of Chaewoo's crimes against Iyeon!

I don't see how the redemption arc can be satisfying and earned if they don't modify or omit some of the cruelty Chaewoo inflicted on Iyeon. Since I don't think they will improve his groveling/redemption arc, the only way it can be satisfying at all is if they lessen the severity of his crimes, either by omitting some of them or modifying them to be less severe.

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

Addtl rant:

Mygod I still cant move on from when HE ALLOWED HER TO GET ASSAULTED BY AN ANGRY MOB OF PEOPLE FOR A CRIME HE DID.

It hurts so much to see bc I get reminded of Amnesiac Chaewoo who instantly defends Iyeon and offers to kill people for her just because they were talking shit about her!

And now we have this Evil Chaewoo that just watches idly as she gets physically and verbally beaten! for something that he fucking did!

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

IMO, the best punishment for Chaewoo is to be denied access to Iyeon. Chaewoo wants nothing more than to be allowed back in her life and stay by her side.

What made it so unsatisfying for me is that Iyeon allowed him back in her life after just 1 month of staying at the Kwons for her contract. During the 1 month of her stay, Chaewoo does the groveling etc. IIRC, their breakup happened just less than 3 mons ago before she went to the Kwon estate for her 1 month gig.

You guys be the judge. After all the unspeakably cruel things he did to her I dont think he deserves to get access to her again so quickly and be allowed back in her life in Hwaido after just 1 month of "groveling".

What im saying is that he deserved to suffer more and for longer. I WANT HIM TO SUFFER FOR YEARS . I guess Im just being vindictive now. But I just cant forgive him for making her bleed during sex, sabotaging an important milestone in her career, and literally watching her as she gets beaten up right infront of him! THE ANGRY MOB LITERALLY COULDVE KILLED HER!

If he really loved her how could he bear to just stand by and watch as an angry mob attacked and beat her up? They were pulling her hair and scratching her skin and shoving her to the ground AND HE JUST WATCHED WITH A PLEASED LOOK IN HIS EYES.

Fuck. Just typing that out again just reminds me again how there's just no way to redeem that. How could you even redeem that cruelty? Even the author doesnt know how lol.

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

I'm gonna read this manhwa again just for Amnesiac Chaewoo's chapters. The artist really made him too handsome...

I’ll prolly revisit when I'm not as emotionally hurt anymore from the ML's cruelty because I really love the art style.

But honestly, if this manhwa didn't have a beautiful art style I never would've bothered to read the novel or keep up with the manhwa at all. My heart just cannot forgive the ML's cruelty.

I love male yanderes when I can see their affection and care for the FL despite their violence. BUT THERE WAS ZERO CARE AND AFFECTION FOR IYEON DURING ENTIRETY OF THE MEMORIES RETURN ARC. It's just back to back abuse from the ML :(

Amnesiac Chaewoo was the best version because he was violent BUT NEVER TO IYEON. He was violent to people who hurt her! and was always 100% ready to protect her! He would never intentionally hurt her or cause her harm :(

If you've reached until this end, thank you for listening to me! All novel excerpts are from the translations by lunarletters!
#GrievingForAmnesiacChaeWoo

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