Mini's Things

After school i used to be at this neibours house.I was SAed by the man of the house when I was 12 to 13. I told my mom and the only thing she did was not send me alone to that house. At the time i understood because that family, specially the wife and children were helping us when we were financially struggling (even that i now realize is because of my parents stupid choices). And my mom also told me if we say this to the wife she would die. So we never confronted the family and my mom didnt want to tell dad cause he would get angry. And I thought was alright and let everything happen like that for years. And I want to remind you that I was a child this time and you would always believe you parents always do the best for you. So for years I made my self feel humiliated everytime I saw his face or everytime I had to take my blessings from him when was doing my exams. (In my culture, we go to neibours who are close to us to tell them when we are going for a life changing kind of level exams).
As I grow up I felt like that my mom shouldn't have made me do those things and at least check on me time to time about how I feeling or if I am okay with seeing him cause no child would ever come unharmed from a situation like that. But I still made up excuses for her. She had a hard life and maybe she was doing her best as a parent. Maybe that's how they dealt with those things in her generation. I made all kinds of excuses and thought that she would never do those things to cause me harm. Cause she is my mom.
Last year we had this dinner with their whole family when my sister got her first job. As I said before his children helped us a lot financially with our education so culturally it was something we were supposed to do here. And I didnt mind it nor did I get mad. Of cause I was uncomfortable to sit at the same dinner table man but I just let it be.
But you know just yesterday I got to know through my sister that that man, at first refused to come to the dinner but my mom still went on and personally invited him. This hit me like a gut punch because I feel stupid for all the times i tried to rationalise how she had acted thorought these years. Like she was emotionally aware enough to know what that wife would feel if she knew that her husband was a pedophile but she can't ever think that I might be suffering inside? That everytime I walk past him or meet face to face i feel like a part of me is dying? And it hurt me that she went on and personally invited him when she could have thought "that's even better if you didnt come". I really wouldnt ask for much. That would have been enough for me to feel like my mom cared about something like that happened to me. All this things make me sick and think that all her "I won't let you go alone to that house again" just performative. I suddenly feel so fed up with all this. I was able to lock up the memory all these years for the sake of my mind but now, everuthing is coming back to like a train wreck. I want to go back and think anything that would have defend my mom but it just make me feel like I'm making my self delusional.
I dont want to hate het because she really did have a hard life cause my dad is abusive and not a responsible person. But I already put her thoughts first all these years too so I don't know. On one hand I feel like I'm a bad daughter for feeling like this and on the other hand I feel like she doesn't even have basic respect for me

Group assignment in uni is so diabolical it's like blind (me) leading the ultra pro max blind (other members) like they think I'm smart when even I don't know what the heck am I doing and only know how to search for answers in google ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ

Them : I don't know how to do this...
Me : idk either try searching in Google
Them : I don’t know how to
Me : (╯°Д °)╯╧╧

Like I just did last 2 semester's group projects all by myself just because I can't deal with them ╥﹏╥

Not that I have any but I was wondering if the stories here should be published ones or the users can upload their own stories(〜￣△￣)〜

Thoughts??