i’m currently in a 5 month long relationship. we’ve tried breaking up a couple of times. but it’s always been me who pushes to stay, because of course i love her. but it’s also because i know she’ll get reckless and try to off herself the moment we break things off. saying that there’s no point in living because she’s always had a plan to do this and that’s i only made life worth living. and i just can’t let that her do that, i know i wouldn’t be able to take it.
she lived at her aunty’s house ever since her parents died. we’re practically living together in my family’s house after her aunty refused to evict a fuckass creepy tenant who creeps on her. i have been happy with her for most moments. but sometimes it just gets harder to feel when she raises her voice with me. i talked to her about it and she said she’ll work on it. but it feels like it just got worse and sometimes she’ll be a little bit physical with me when we’re not okay. when i try to talk to her to fix things.
and just this morning i got turned off with the way she responded to me when i was trying to wake her up for her work. i have always been gentle to her, because that’s what i actually want from my partner too.
i’m starting to feel like calling us off because of it. i hate it when i see myself adapting to that kind of aggression—mirroring it. but i know that the moment we break things off, she’ll off herself somewhere. i just don’t know what to do anymore.
what got me into dungeon meshi was that one farcille artwork from twitter. this manga was splendid. the artwork, the characters, the comedy, its entirety... i loved it all so much. welp it's time to read fanfics on ao3 now.