Tsugaru's Topics (15)

He knows that Jinha’s only acting cold to Siwon to redirect his attention from Siwon so...he asked, “Why am I so happy?” Because next to Lu Xuan’s/Noh Seonyun’s name should be descriptives such as: schadenfreude, psychopath, jealousy/envy, homewrecker, lonely, unsavory, etc...

We can add more~

I was wondering why the seme and uke looked so familiar, or rather similar in drawing style to Midnight Dog Show and then I saw the author's name, lol~ I guess it's read first and figure things out later~

First it was Siwon x Jinha moments (primary pairing/otp~?), then the author added drama with Lu Xuan...so it became Siwon x Lu Xuan moments (secondary pairing~?), and now it's Jinha x Lu Xuan moments (tertiary pairing~?)...

Either the author is exploring different shippings or trolling the readers. Why not just end with a threesome or everyone ends up alone? At this point, I am just here for the temple guy~

Okay~ this is an attempt to understand Touma and Atsu. They seem to be at conflict with what they want from each other and then their actions are driven by misinterpretations and miscommunications. I think there are 2 more chapters, but here goes~

(1) Short response: What drives Touma’s actions to always reject and push Atsu away is his desire to protect Atsu. He wants Fuyu to have a normal life with a normal marriage and to forget about him, not becoming acquainted with a delinquent like him. He feels guilt over his feelings for Atsu. Essentially, he does not want to pull Atsu into his world of what he considers is “tainted.” What drives Atsu’s actions is his receipt of mixed signals from Touma (his intentions were misinterpreted), his desire to be with Touma, and to monopolize him. Atsu doesn’t care about standings, he just wants to be with Touma. As of chapter 4, the two are currently moving in opposite directions with what they want with their relationship: Touma wants a relationship similar to the one in childhood while Atsu wants their relationship to progress past friendship~

(2) Long response: it’s quite long, lol~

Yamagi Touma (blond hair uke) is portrayed as a brash HS delinquent who lives with a single parent, his mother. So he’s the opposite image of Atsushi Fuyu (black hair seme), a student from an elite school with a recognizable uniform. Based on childhood accounts, Touma initially didn’t take notice of Atsu until he realized that his presence became important to him as Atsu has always been by Touma’s side. Atsu really liked Touma, which could be argued that this fondness later developed into obsessive love. The two had feelings for each other since childhood.

Touma acknowledged that he wasn’t normal, but came to develop feelings for Atsu because Atsu treated him as if he were normal. Atsu used to look out for Touma whenever he was beaten up by opponents who were older than him. In addition, he went ahead and beat up guys who criticized Touma for his hair color and how Touma looked at them. Atsu’s desire to look after Touma hasn’t changed since we see presently that when Touma was bleeding from the cutter wound, Atsu used his tie to promote hemostasis. Afterwards, Touma bought a new tie for Atsu to replace the one that he used to stop the bleeding. So these minute actions show that the two do care for each other~

Atsu was willing to get hurt for Touma, but evidently, he can’t stand to be hurt by Touma’s words and actions. We see that Atsu becomes enraged whenever Touma mentioned that he is doing something wrong. This goes back to when they were children and Touma told him to stop defending him from those jerks who criticized his hair color, but he misinterpreted it as Touma chastising him for defending him and doing something wrong. To add to that misinterpretation, Touma told Atsu that he would get hurt if he stayed with him and not to come near with him anymore. Being a child who just took it upon to defending the person you really like and then getting told by that same person to stay away will obviously hurt your feelings and cause you to associate criticism for your actions as being chastised for doing something wrong.

(3) Touma’s protectiveness toward Atsu:

He acts tough around his “friends” by threatening to beat up Atsu if he returned to where he and his friends were. From Atsu’s POV, it’s rejection from Touma when he just always wanted Touma to take care of himself and attend school. From Touma’s POV, he thinks he’s protecting Atsu from this “tainted” world he lives in with his “friends” and engaging in fights with others. He even threatened to kill Yamada if he chose to hurt Atsu. Branching off that, Touma came running to Atsu when Yamada decided to exact revenge against Touma by involving Atsu. So both Yamada and Ryuya know that Touma’s weakness is Atsu. Touma obviously loves Atsu as he stated that if it’s for Atsu, he would do anything. Yes~ he thinks he is protecting Atsu from his “friends” and Ryuya (the guy whose name I now cared to know, lol) by agreeing to sex with that scumbag. Touma agreed to the blackmail sex because in his mind, he thinks that if Atsu heard him and Ryuya having sex over the phone, then that would send a clear message to Atsu that he completely rejected him as Atsu requested a proper rejection from him. Of course, Touma knows this will really hurt Atsu, but he’s thinking that this will keep Atsu safe from him and from being exposed through that photograph that Ryuya had. About Atsu and Ryoya pointing out that Touma is a masochist~ Touma doesn’t hold himself in high regard (which makes him a target) as he’s engaging in fights and doesn’t care if he sustained injury to his face. However, he places Atsu on a high pedestal and is protective of him.

(4) Atsu’s feelings for Touma:

Superficially, as readers we’d see that Atsu’s abusive toward Touma, but Atsu actually cares for Touma. His actions toward Touma result from receiving mixed signals from Touma and being mentally cornered. Atsu wants to always be with Touma, but Touma feels guilty over his feelings for Atsu and has a bad way of coping with this. In actuality, Touma wants to be submerged within Atsu’s feelings for him. When he’s reminded by Atsu that “we’re friends right?,” Touma feels guilty because he has feelings deeper than friendship and he did not want to “taint” Atsu with his feelings so he keeps on rejecting and pushing Atsu away. Atsu tried to communicate with Touma by asking him if Touma loves him and to stop acting cold towards him if he does. Touma, being unclear with his intentions as always, decided to apologize to Atsu, kissed him, and told him that because he liked him, Atsu should stay away from him.

We could also see that Touma takes for granted Atsu’s desire to be by his side as he knows that Atsu would never want to distance himself from Touma. And yeah~ Atsu didn’t distance himself after the confession and kiss. However, Atsu was getting tired of all the mixed signals from Touma and thought that the only way to get through to Touma is well, unfortunately, a forced blowjob to mark the start of their changed relationship and later, rape. So the blowjob was for Atsu to confirm that Touma felt the same way as he did toward Touma (Touma noted that Atsu was aroused from having his dick in his mouth). However Touma did not want their relationship to progress in that way (eg. he wanted a relationship that was similar to what they had during childhood). When Atsu gave Touma a hand job and said that he’s not coming, Touma responded with “you’re dirtying yourself.” This is upsetting to Atsu because once again, Touma is criticizing him for doing what he wanted to do for Touma on his own free will. This could also mean that he doesn’t think he’s dirtying himself by showing his love for Touma or taking their relationship to the next level. When Atsu said, ”you don’t want to, yet you look like you want to come so bad you can’t help it,“ it kind of reflects how Touma overtly shows his feelings toward Atsu. He doesn’t want to give into his feelings for Atsu, but at the same time he’s not clearly rejecting Atsu and shows that he does want to be with Atsu.

What Atsu said to Touma is spot on of how incorrectly Touma addressed his feelings for him: “You’ve always been like this. You’d first decide on something, then you’d just give it up without telling me.”

Touma has always been avoidant and a coward pertaining to his feelings for Atsu. He decided to confess to Atsu that he liked him and then push him away by telling him to forget about everything without discussing it with him. Whenever Atsu reached out his hand to Touma, Touma would always pull away from him~ Eventually Atsu was pushed to his limits and unfortunately, resorted to raping Touma. Atsu acknowledged that Touma’s love for him wasn’t like their current sexual relationship because Touma wanted something similar to how they used to be in the past. However, Atsu decided their relationship should progress to the next level. Touma pointed out that what he’s doing was wrong (the rape and the direction he’s progressing with their relationship) and that caused Atsu to become enraged and said that he’s not doing anything wrong. Touma wants to tell Atsu that what’s happening between the two was wrong, but he ended up saying he wanted to come from Atsu’s dick (again sending mixed signals). Touma thought they could never go back to the way things were. On the other hand, Atsu thinks their love is growing, because in his mind, he’s becoming closer to Touma and he was willing to accept that they were not going out and were sex friends. He also added that by accepting all the sexual things done between the two, Touma didn’t have to maintain his need to protect him. Atsu “solves” things by sex because he pointed out to Touma that he doesn’t think Touma actually have feelings for him and we could see that he’s reached his limit by asking Touma to properly reject him if he hated him~

Hopefully the next chapters will clarify and resolve things between the two~ Thank you for reading this if you reached to the end here ~<3

Did I get it wrong or was his friend Jooyoung wearing an Elmo sweatband on his head?

And also... the demonstration he did with his fingers, XD.

Hyeon/red-haired guy is self-serving as he is predominantly obsessed with taking the teacher’s (Seonsaeng’s) anal virginity. He is already planning to blackmail Seonsaeng into having sex with him~

He’s not on the same level as Yule, but he’s still a jerk~

Did anyone also notice the scary looking colorful face at the end of chapter 35 (last page when Li Qing is giving Xiang Yang a piggyback), lol?

Lol, she’s not mistaken, the director is everywhere. I didn’t notice him until I saw the arrow.
Director Kangwoo, aka Director <==

Why do I get the feeling that Lin Lin (the guy with the pigtails) will not handle rejection or being ignored by Li Qing well? (º □ º l|l)

“No matter how much I love you...You already have someone else in your heart.”
That moment, my heart went from to ... I’m sure DG’s the same. ( ; ω ; )