ArisaL's Topics (94)

fr

Yeah I still standby my earlier statement. After seeing what Si-woon went through I wouldn’t have trusted Do-ha or wanted anything to do with him. It was quite sudden how they got together. Kind of no consequences for your actions. I don’t think the author did their research or execution properly. Really feel like dropping this. It was so irritating.
Boohoo let me cry about not being good enough for you and hurting you after you lied to me and abandoned me. Come on man, I really need to stop reading crap like this.

What Siwoon did that precipitated what Doha did made it necessary for both their sakes so this was a wild take to me

I don’t even know what you are trying to say but good for you.

I’ll make it clearer then since not many will read this far for the spoilers and it’s complex.

Doha only broke it off because Siwoon provoked his father’s wrath to intentionally get hurt to get Doha’s more of attention. That’s super toxic and dangerous for them both so Doha had to walk away. He tried to be everything for Siwoon but it was too hard and Siwoon didn’t know how to be healthy. By walking away and giving Siwoon time to grow up and think about things clearly helped him become someone who could be in a healthier relationship, which is good because Doha always loved him and felt guilty even if it was for the best.

And of course, Siwoon wanted Doha back. He always wanted Doha, but he only hesitated because he didn’t want Doha to be crushed by his toxicity again. Even Siwoon knew what he did was wrong and was scared to hold onto Doha because he may try to dominate his time and isolate him again with his neediness.

Doha lets him know it’s ok to want this much of him, and Siwoon is okay now with letting Doha thrive with others without him.

This wasn’t a good story for me, so I already forgot about most that happens but…

I think we have 2 very different interpretations.
Doha broke it of because Siwoons intensity scared him. That’s understandable for a kid. They don’t want to take on the burdens of others at such a young age. He didn’t know how to deal with that. He first gave that impression that he could which if you know anything about saying that to a kid who was abused, means a lot to them. They, like Siwoon, take on this obsessive behaviour and fair enough Doha didn’t know what to do but break it of. He ran because as you read he was scared.
However, Doha didn’t leave so Siwoon could learn to be in a healthier relationship. He simply left because he was scared. As time had passed he didn’t think about Siwoon as much after that time until they encountered each other again. If they hadn’t I don’t think Doha would have gone looking for him even out of guilt and that is evident.
He only felt guilty and wanted to pursue Siwoon again because he now had a chance to amend and those feelings left unresolved just came back.
Doha however, does not show any sense of growth, yes he felt guilty to what he did by leaving Siwoon but I don’t think he really grasped the idea of wanting to be with someone broken again and how he would deal with it. I don’t think he really earned that forgiveness from Siwoon as yet. It wasn’t really proved much through his actions but it could have been, it just wasn’t enough for me.

My issue however is Siwoon, in a lot of psychology cases kids have a hard time dealing with their trauma (anyone for that matter anyway), one of their sources of abandonment, will usually cause them to act in a distant and indifferent manner. They may feel reluctant to engage with it. In this case his unresolved obsessive feelings towards Doha would have boarded on hatred (I just wish these themes were explored more). To me it seems the author didn’t do enough research on these topics.
While we did see a little bit of that from Siwoon, he’s feelings of acceptance happened with not a lot of thinking. While I understand that he didn’t want to make Doha feel crushed by his toxicity, I don’t think there was a need for him to feel like this.
He even had to take medication to help him, but he should have also seen a proper therapist to help him through his trauma. If that was shown more as opposed to an ordinary doctor giving him sleeping pills, I think it would have been better. If he did and he dealt more with his feelings of inadequacy, or toxicity as you call it, maybe it would have made sense for him to not want to be with Doha for those reasons.
So when Doha asks him to be in a relationship, I didn’t really like those reasons of Siwoons toxicity harming Doha. Kind of makes it look like Doha is the victim which wasn’t really true.
It’s just themes and how it was handled, I personally did not like it because I know it does not happen like this, and for that I did not like of much of this was executed. It just rubbed me the wrong way.

You are entitled to your interpretation and I’m entitled to mine. This is just what I think should have been included to help him grow a bit more, to deal with his inner conflict. Which wasn’t shown clearly.

I didn’t say he left so he could be in a healthier relationship. I said his leaving allowed Siwoon to become someone who could be in a healthier relationship. Yes, Doha was scared, but their relationship had become toxic. He was scared for Siwoon. They both needed to grown up and Siwoon needed distance from his trauma.