I'm currently 19 gonna be 20 and I'm in an idk relationship crisis? My current bf is the first ever person I've been in a relationship with, so let me just share my experience because it's really new to me.
He keeps on talking about 18+ stuff even though he knows I'm uncomfortable. I mean, I do read smut manhwa, but talking about it feels gross?? And when I say I hate it, he says stuff like "If I don't talk like this to my gf, who else am I supposed to talk to about it?" kind of stuff. He would randomly ask me to send my ughh stuff?? And when I tell him I'm uncomfortable he jokes around about it, but then proceeds to ask again after a week or two. But apart from this he actually supports me a lot.
Lately though I just feel like I should distance myself from him because he was actually 18 and faked being 20. Mind you he admitted that on his 18th birthday, and I realized I had been dating a minor all along. (Y'all can hate me for this lol.) We met online, so idk... he might even be hiding things about his past relationships too. He told me I was his 2nd but after finding out he lied about his age I don't even know what to believe anymore. And when he was 17 he used to say some bs like, "I love how innocent you are." I wish I could've said "Bitvh, you're 17"
There are definitely positive sides to him and negative ones as well. But I just can't be in a relationship knowing he's been deceiving me and stuff. And since this is my first relationship, I really don't want to break up either.
Please help.
I definitely agree with you. You should leave him. Never take/share any of your private pics to anyone.. He should really take the hint and consider your feelings being uncomfortable about doing any sexual things. Him lying about age was already a huge problem. Confront and block, or even better, just straightforward block him
He is not respecting your boundaries about 18+ stuff, and that is a red flag. Also, if he thought it was okay to lie to you about his age for so long, he will think it is okay to lie about other things. You should probably leave him—there are better people out there for you and you should not have to settle.
sounds like you're communicating your boundaries and he's not respecting them (about talking/asking for sexual stuff). That's just not okay. I'd try to be firmer in my boundaries, and give a consequence if he crosses it (sounds like giving a 'punishment' to a child, but honestly a boundary without a consequence is too easy to ignore for some people).
About the age thing, I really wouldn't have liked that my partner would like about something like that. It makes it difficult to know what else he could lie about. His reasoning might explain it in a way I could accept, but I'd have a serious conversation that his actions (lying and crossing boundaries) is making you lose trust in him and the relationship.
It's easy as an online stranger to tell you to leave him, but you have to make that decision in the end. I always try to at least have a conversation before making a final decision like that. You are with two in a relationship after all, and got together because you like each other (I hope). If you are feeling uncomfortable, and don't see a way that this relationship can be saved, you have your answer. Good luck
There are always pros and cons to people and their relationships. When the cons start to include pushing/breaking boundaries and/or lying, that should immediately pretty much put way the pros entirely. ESPECIALLY if it’s a recurring or persistent issue. Protect yourself, no one deserves that. I know how scary it is to break away and feel alone again but it is entirely worth it. You are worth it! For what it’s worth, this rando 23 yo Fudanshi is rooting for you, lol.
yeee absolutely, let's blame the child instead of the grown man who chose to be unfaithful