beta
Considering how this fcking started, their relationship is surprisingly wholesome! It blurs the line between consensual and non-consenting at the start tho, and that goes both ways to the characters the in-between development is fluffy, and i love how they communicate their wants and dislikes, how giving in into the other's wants makes them feel, especially the way they let each other draw boundaries. They also reassure each other and that melts my heart. The friends are a plus points too! Kiumi's friends are fcking cute and funny i love them. Disclaimer that for the continuation of this review, i'd be yapping my a.. off and it's the reason why I rated this low (on top of romanticizing the sh.t at the start)
Now now we go to that specific shit with koh. God fucking dammnit was that part even necessary??? Yeah, okay, the author could have inserted that charac from the start, a snippet perhaps, just to establish that kiumi and koh hooked up before or just insert a shit that ml was in contact with him (i think they chatted but well i dont remember neways). They could have used other ways to emphasize his role in the development of the couple's relationship without making him THAT shitty you know. Like what was the fucking point?! Also, the shit that gets to me was how it was downplayed. Okay, ml was angry, but bro?? Bro?! Bro?! That was an assault! Straight up assault. And what's more fucked up? He was saying sorry for making them feel bad not about what he did was fucked up. Im so frustrated at that part and i know it was shitty because the author randomly introduced that character, and so it was none but a fucking plot device that was shittily written and portrayed. And the thing abt the trauma from blowjobs and the other position was so fcking random like, cmon! Shouldve integrated those in the earlier chapters. What was the fcking point revealing that at the latter part?! Just for a fcking smut scene that felt so out of place
And I still can't get over the fact that he's still friends with him! He assaulted your boyfriend!!
The strongest point of this story was in the earlier chapters. There's something soft and warm in confiding your truth on a stranger who will ultimately become your friend, regardless if you're two different personalities. Seeing how they're fumbling to become persons the younger them would be proud of made me want to cheer them on. It's youthful and lovely. I particularly like the arc with Jaehee, seeing him realize how much of a shithead he was with his bestie and with Junseo (unintentionally at first...the next few memories revealed def felt like his own decision to do so). I say this as a youth whose peers had a big influence on them growing up. I related with Jaehee, in the sense of discriminating what I cannot fully understand and choosing to be toxic even though I should have known better. It cannot be fully pardoned with immaturity and not knowing, but it pushes you to make ammends and slowly become a person who is worthy to be friends with lovely people (cont.)
Another thing I really like was the ambiguity of Junseo's past. I say this because we never really see his first love make ammends with him, not even be given a satisfying reason behind his shitty behavior. And I think it's quite realistic. Often than not, we don't get the ending we want for ourselves; sadly, we have to make peace with that. So, seeing Junseo struggling to make sense what happened to him, but still choosing to be soft (towards his sister), learning how not to hurt others (i.e. his mom), still choosing to navigate receiving an apology even after knowing it wouldn't soften the blow that already landed fill me with an immense pride. Him being the one to say that Jae Won is not weird for liking a guy made it so powerful, because we see that regardless of the pain he had endured, he never regretted accepting himself for who he is. He is unapologetic in his warmth and softness (a rare character development often only seen in people in their 20's after years of therapy haha). (Cont.)
I also like Jae Won, but keeping my opinions short, albeit struggling to draw boundaries, knows what he wants, tries although fails. that's where his strength comes from, though it might come off as indecisiveness; he cares. And this softness extends towards the other characters, giving them a soft place to land on, after what they had been through. And I like how this reflects his final decision. Him not answering to Karam's confession immediately because he thought of Junseo, not because Junseo liking him stirred his love for Karam, but because he cares enough about their friendship, loves Junseo as he is, and ultimately not want his friend to experience the same heartbreak he got (esp if it was coming from him). Often, there really isn't a way for everyone to have the happy ending they want for themselves, but this story did its best to stay true to this theme (as reflected on junseo and jae won's pasts). It may not be the satisfying ending everyone wants, but imo, it was truthful to the story's intention and i quite like how it went. (Cont.)
I actually didn't enjoy Karam's characterization that much. In comparison to the other characters, he was boring, and I wished we got more focus on his development (as a character and as the love interest). It felt abrupt, so I think this is also one reason why readers feel dissatisfied with him. Sadly, the biggest plot device of this story is Yoonsung, and up 'til the end, he was only introduced because it was convenient so that the main cp could end up together (there were a lot of times he was used as such i.e. he suddenly had somewhere to go so main cp could be alone). I think he was introduced because it was the easiest route for the story to progress, but it was also the biggest flaw of this story. That's why the storytelling (amazing at the start) fell flat as he was introduced and the build-up of the character motivations suddenly felt "off" the more he was there. In conclusion, the story had its moments and i enjoyed bits of it, but it definitely could work on a lot of things. Still, I commend how it did its best to reflect how we don't get all we want in life and that we can take time to accept this fact and move forward.