I really want to get the depiction of trauma, self-punishment, and internalised homophobia in this series, but it all feels too... quick and convenient. Someone who has held onto this for so long, lived and developed with this guilt for years, doesn't fold so easily. Every time you relive your guilt in your head, conclusions form again and again until you are able to name your sin emotionlessly, and speak it in a way that denounces all possible pity in your name. The abusers aren't the ones in control of the punishment; rather, you are, and this includes not letting yourself make such a cathartic confession in front of someone. In a weird way, your punishment becomes part of your ego and pride that can't be taken away so easily. This story doesn't depict a very longstanding guilt imo. It feels like a very fresh wound that could be taken care of quickly rather than a long festering injury.
I really want to get the depiction of trauma, self-punishment, and internalised homophobia in this series, but it all feels too... quick and convenient. Someone who has held onto this for so long, lived and developed with this guilt for years, doesn't fold so easily.
Every time you relive your guilt in your head, conclusions form again and again until you are able to name your sin emotionlessly, and speak it in a way that denounces all possible pity in your name. The abusers aren't the ones in control of the punishment; rather, you are, and this includes not letting yourself make such a cathartic confession in front of someone. In a weird way, your punishment becomes part of your ego and pride that can't be taken away so easily.
This story doesn't depict a very longstanding guilt imo. It feels like a very fresh wound that could be taken care of quickly rather than a long festering injury.
Everything was thrown into a 5 chapter package I just use my imagination to fill in the gaps and to expand the story