i have no one else to discuss this with so im just gonna have my two cents here
i so love love love this story because it's so profound and i love the fact that paula was able to find love, not just from a partner, but also a friend turned adoptive brother, and a semi-rival in love.
THAT BEING SAID, the premise of her being too "ugly" to be loved or worthy gets tiring near the end. once or twice was understandable but the concept of self-love, being loved, and acceptance gets too muddled when the character has to be useful and be everyone's caregiver before she gets to be loved. her being a commoner wasn't even the biggest factor, it was just bc she was "ugly"
just kinda left a bitter taste when i finished the novel bc it's like... it's kind of a bad take (?) for the FL bc she already has insecurities and for her to be accepted, she has to try so hard and orove herself worthy in front of ppl who already judged her (the grandparent lmao) without knowing her.
like, what about not giving a fuck about someone's looks? or what about simply not treating her like shit just because? what about making her feel like she doesn't need to try so hard to have people on her side?
idk. i think that just makes more sense considering her past and how it shaped her, instead of basically having her clean everyone's shit and indirectly beg for someone's good grace just bc she was good and useful to them
As I have also read the novel and wrote a giant ass para there, I feel you bro. This one is sooooo sooooo soo good. People are not appreciating it much. And the ugly thing is like fr bro, but if we really look at the positive side, mad respect to paula bro. Despite being ugly she overcame so many insecurities of her, it was so damn refreshing to see and read smth where women are not only gorgeous everywhere. Author really won with this one. Like literal felt so realistic art is such a top tier soothing one that, whenever i see paula and Vincent i feel like being hugged by then would make all my worries melt and go away. THE ART LITERALLY COMES OUT OF THE SCREEN AND LEAVES US FEELING WHOLESOME AND SAD DOESN'T IT
no frrrr paula's actually so strong and i think the whole driving force of her personality is sooo understandable. the author made her insecure, pessimistic, cynical, and still hold so much love in her without making her pathetic and weak in a pick-me and infantalizing way
much love for her character. she reminds me so much of Yi-jae from As The Heart Leads
Loved the moral and politics of this story sm. Loved the fact that Evaldina/Anneta was left to live and watch the Empire go through the fact that their founding Emperor was a fraud. I just wished they tackled the ending better. It seemed as if in the end, they just girlbossified and skirt over genocide just so they can be 'true' to their concept of pushovers and brats. The ending almost felt lazy if it weren't for the fact that it's still the ending we wanted, despite the weak writing.
Still, loved the story. Loved Evaldina's character.
I fought with a reader here once because they said that genocide was essentially something Evaldina and the mages deserved bc Evaldina was "stupid". Huge fuck you to you still. Your media literacy is nonexistent. You missed the whole point of the story and your ability to think and type shit is wasted on you.











the monologues are INSANE. feels like im actually learning from a philosopher i feel so cleansed and optimistic everytime i re-read this story