Stay Up Too Late Reading Yaoi

maybe this is just me or maybe its not but I overthink every little thing even asking questions on here. As i'm writing this i'm thinking everybody is just gonna think its annoying and whatever. Also worrying what others think of me even though they don't even know me. just wondering if anyone else on here is like this too......

Middle school was the only year I actually felt I had a purpose and with actual good friends... But once highschool started I had to start over with 0 again since the others were either younger or went to another school... I did made good friends though but they all fucking moved away or were seniors so thats that....
but here's what I feel I ruined, I should have not been a bitch to my ex and acted more nicer but I wasn't feeling alright :(( , and if I wasn't made to have good friends again I should have had the best grades to be succesful but I fucked that up too.. now I have straight A's but its only senior year..... I do have two friends, but again one graduated already (we still talk) and the other I feel like she's only with me because she doesnt wanna be lonely.... Thats it...... the only reason why I dont kms is because I wanna create mangas when I grow up everything else fucking sucks..... Im rlly just hopeful loser :/