Stay Up Too Late Reading Yaoi

I have two kinda odd phobia's. One is called Myrmecophobia (Fear of ant's)
and the second is called Venephobia (Fear of veins). My Venephobia is worse then my Myrmecophobia. When i see my veins i start to shiver and sometimes feel sick. My friend's sometimes would make fun of me for being afraid of ants too. So what's your phobia?

the story like this.... im now 24 y/o... when i was a kid i was always playing with my cousin.... we have the same age... we growth up together... when im 7 y/o.. i told him that i liked him... and he also like said he liked me... he liked to hold my hand when we were playing... and one day i heard that his mother said she doest want a daughter in law like me... and start from that i avoid things from him.. like touching and saying liked to each other.. i create a topic like he had to find a girlfriend like that... and he be silent.. then we be a normal like playing together... my parents like go to eat at his house.. when we came to eat.. he always get me a glass of water for me only.. but not to my other siblings... and my aunt realize and joke to his son that he focus on me only... when we on 15 y/o... one day i go to celebrate marriage (Kenduri Kahwin) of someone.. i looked at this one handsome guy... and my cousin stared at me... and i ignored it... when we came back home he asked me why i looked at that guy... and i said its none of his business.. and he being silent.. when we on 16/17 y/o.. he was being clingy to me.. like to cuddle and sleep on my shoulder... and i always push him when he like to do that.. cause i don't want my aunt and my parents to see... and when on 18 y/o... my stepmother told me that my cousin planned on to go part time together with me.. and my stepmother refuse.. cause she worried we be a couple and fall in love with other.. she doesnt want it.. when he do a part time he got a girlfriend already and i happy for him.. and now.. he plan on getting married already maybe in this year or next year.. im glad for him.. i prayed for his happiness.. What im so pissed of right now.. that i have two younger sisters one is 7 y/o and 5 y/o... they also have this one cousin guy 7y/o... they like to played with him.. and that guy said he liked my youngest sister 5 y/o and my sister 7y/o liked him..when o heard about them i laughed and said its cute to see kids like that...i actually doesnt want them to be like me.. and when my stepmother see im laughting at her two daughters.. she said to me why im laughed when im also still like my cousin until now.. im so pissed off.. when heard that... cause what she said is like im the only one that chasing and like my cousin and he doenst ever like me from when we were kids... thats why im hurt hearing that...