for me, when im sad.. i always smiling and showed people a happy expression on my face... so that people did not know how lonely, weak and saddest i am... i hate it when there are people that can see throught me (the real me)... for example, there is someone talk to you suddenly and said your expression is always happy, smile and laugh.. but i know...... 1 reply
the reason is... im not attractive... and don't has self-confidence and im not believe in "LOVE" and "PEOPLE".... i like to be alone... fulfill my life with my hobbies and being a fujoshi..m. reply
im not sure i has phobia or not actually....but im too scareddd of insects like cockroach and anything that flying and can bite..... if i see the insects i will run and hide or hug the person next to me to help me to kill themm.. if the insects that i saw is dissapear and i dont know whether its died or not.. i cannot sleep until i know that insect...... 1 reply
i want to date someone.... but i know that there is no man that can accept me as who i am... there is no.man can accept me being a fujoshi and still watching anime at 24 years old.... so maybe i can't find someone that can accept my hobbies and interest.... i do want to have someone that i can share my hobbies and interest together with him.. and r...... 1 reply
the story like this.... im now 24 y/o... when i was a kid i was always playing with my cousin.... we have the same age... we growth up together... when im 7 y/o.. i told him that i liked him... and he also like said he liked me... he liked to hold my hand when we were playing... and one day i heard that his mother said she doest want a daughter in law like me... and start from that i avoid things from him.. like touching and saying liked to each other.. i create a topic like he had to find a girlfriend like that... and he be silent.. then we be a normal like playing together... my parents like go to eat at his house.. when we came to eat.. he always get me a glass of water for me only.. but not to my other siblings... and my aunt realize and joke to his son that he focus on me only... when we on 15 y/o... one day i go to celebrate marriage (Kenduri Kahwin) of someone.. i looked at this one handsome guy... and my cousin stared at me... and i ignored it... when we came back home he asked me why i looked at that guy... and i said its none of his business.. and he being silent.. when we on 16/17 y/o.. he was being clingy to me.. like to cuddle and sleep on my shoulder... and i always push him when he like to do that.. cause i don't want my aunt and my parents to see... and when on 18 y/o... my stepmother told me that my cousin planned on to go part time together with me.. and my stepmother refuse.. cause she worried we be a couple and fall in love with other.. she doesnt want it.. when he do a part time he got a girlfriend already and i happy for him.. and now.. he plan on getting married already maybe in this year or next year.. im glad for him.. i prayed for his happiness.. What im so pissed of right now.. that i have two younger sisters one is 7 y/o and 5 y/o... they also have this one cousin guy 7y/o... they like to played with him.. and that guy said he liked my youngest sister 5 y/o and my sister 7y/o liked him..when o heard about them i laughed and said its cute to see kids like that...i actually doesnt want them to be like me.. and when my stepmother see im laughting at her two daughters.. she said to me why im laughed when im also still like my cousin until now.. im so pissed off.. when heard that... cause what she said is like im the only one that chasing and like my cousin and he doenst ever like me from when we were kids... thats why im hurt hearing that...
as for me.... i like to be alone.... and i feel disturb when people are try to know and care about me... i did not like it... i feel that i like to all people to forget about me.. when my birthday comes.. i always feel empty and i always want for people to forget about my birthday.. cause i feel nothing special about birthday... when my friends celebrate and do suprise me on my birthday.. i just can't feel happy and touched.. absorblutely empty... and when new people want to know about me.. i just hate it.. i dont want anyone to understand me.. cause anyone would not can understand what i really feel..there also people that can see the truth me... as example, "at outside u smile but in inside u are actually sad"... i feel that people is being annoying like them understand u....
want to do going to concerts
