Get To Know You

so today i was just drawin and stuff then my mother questioned me why i was so "fascinated" with wlw couples (because she saw this one fanart of korrasami and it wasn't even that explicit! like they were just hugging)

she said, "are you a dyke? is that what you are?"

i was so mad but i knew i couldn't express it because then she'll beat me up so i stayed silent for fear that i might get hurt. she asked me again and this time i told her no i said, "no''

she asked, "then what are you?"

i was shaking so bad at this point i couldn't breathe my hands were so cold but she kept staring at me so i had to talk. i finally told her, i came out and she forced me, "i'm pansexual."

"so your pans." she said

i was so scared she might lunge at me and slap me my heart was beating so fast but it never came. instead she said that pansexuality or asexuality and i quote "hetero rainbow bullshit" is not real and that we just made it up in our heads because we're in the modern world. she even said that she doesn't believe that a person can be attracted to two or more genders. she said, "you're either a dyke or you're straight"

she said that people would never accept me and that i would ruin their image to THEIR ( yes theirs because they're definitely not mine if they're phobic which they are) family she said my friends would laugh behind my back because i wasn't "normal" anymore.

we didn't talk about it for the rest of the day and i knew my relationship with her is gone