Something That Makes You Happy

Okay so my mother has done some things to me over the past year and i wanna talk about them. one time she beat me with a belt until it broke for not completing my schoolwork on time. she constantly yelled at me for being slow or not understanding something. shes always calling me a crybaby and shit and making me cry. shes constantly taking away everything from me (she's actually had my phone for 4 months) she never wants me outside, but she claims she loves me? like she always buys me things and hugs me and tells me that she loves and cares for me. i love her but she puts me through so much pain and i really wanna leave her side but i never can. i just wanna be happy. i wanna vent to someone but it always feels like no one else cares. i really just wannna end it all. Is she abusive or am i just overreacting? i really do love her but it feels like she doesn't love me. Anyways this kinda turned into a vent so uh bye ig.