Have An Unpopular Opinion

There was a prophet by the name of Jonah, who was a messenger of God. One day, God told Jonah to go on a great journey to the city of Ninevah. God wanted Jonah to tell the people to tone down the horniness, as his angels were getting jealous and wanted to join in. God did not want this, because well, the angels were his cumsluts, dammit.

This was a big task that made Jonah afraid. Not because he might DIE, but because he might die in the manner that he did not WISH to die.

You see, Jonah had a vore fetish. And while a part of the fetish IS dying, it's specifically dying via digestion.

Not by being penetrated in the ass by a horse.

Which, apparently, happened a lot in Ninevah.

"OOOH YEAH BABY SUCK THAT RODDDD, MMMMM YESSSSS-"

Shocked, Jonah spun around to see 2 buff men engaging in what appeared to be oral sex. The blonde one was on his knees, ass exposed and swinging, while the redhead howled in pleasure. He occasionally spanked the blonde himbo's ass, causing him to moan in pleasure.

'oh GOD,' Jonah thought, 't-that could be ME!!!' Jonah was so scared of being anally penetrated that he decided then and there that he wanted to die.

And he knew just the way to do it.

Instead of stopping the horny Ninevanites, he went out on a ship in the hopes of finding something that could fufill his desires. Jonah hoped that God would, you know, understand that he just wanted to be fucking eaten and murdered via acid. Normal stuff.

"Do you, uh, know of any large, hopefully sexy, sea monsters in these parts?" he asked the captain.

"Oh yeah, there was this giant mermaid that we were thinking of seeing." the captain replied.

Holy fucking shit. A GIANT mermaid. Now THAT sounded pretty damn good to Jonah.

"i'll fucking go with you. if you happen to see me, uh, dissapear and can't find me, uh, just leave without me. Don't worry."

"uhhhh ok...?"

"thanks"

Jonah was relieved. If all went well, within a few short days his pain and misery will be gone, and he would finally be able to feel the warmth and love that only a stomach could provide. Fuck god and his shit, he wanted to sleep forever encased in acid.

How foolish Jonah was to think that he could run away from god.
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Thanks for reading! Special thanks to @Fruity Loops for inspiring me to write more. Part 2 is coming soon!

god i despite the saying periodt, my sisters kept saying it and I can't handle it now