Read Manga

I've been bed rotting the whole day and a thought occurred to me, ngl, BL bottoms are strong asf. Especially mentally. If I was the one always getting forced into dubcon sex by my partner, getting creampied despite saying no, has sex more times than we go on dates, has a partner who gets jealous at every interaction I have, has a partner who does stupid hurtful shit to get my attention, and not to mention all those toxic BL plots where they're constantly being put through shit just because they loved the ML? If a normal person was in their position they probably would've been suffering from depression and have gotten tons of health issues already

That's literally it, I don't wanna be negative, but lately I don't seem to enjoy watching videos, nor tiktoks, or reading
So I tried re watching series that I know I love and make me feel better, but that doesn't work either, I go outside, and I still feel, numb¿?
Idk what to do or if it will ever go away
What should I do