Toxic -> productive
I saw the posts that person is doing of that toxic “why are you mad stuff”
(and btw they are doing it to point out how ridiculous saying that shit is and this is in no way a call out post. I don’t have any problem with what they are doing)
And I thought I could add something to it: I’m gonna use the examples from the posts and some other common ones so if you’ve ever said that stuff or something like it, you can communicate your feelings is a healthy way instead of a toxic way.
Instead of saying: You’re the most anxious person I’ve ever dated. My ex wasn’t like this
Say: when I see you get anxious I take it as a reflection of me even though it isn’t/ it riles me up because I want to make things better but don’t know how/ it scares me because I have a problem with wanting control of your emotions even though I can’t ever have it
Instead of saying: You’re over reacting/ you’re so sensitive/ you’re imagining things
Say: I’m sorry I’ve hurt you. It’s hard for me to admit when I’ve done something wrong because I take it as a reflection of my whole character/ although I have a different perspective, I understand your feelings and would like to do whatever possible to make you feel better
Instead of saying: No one wants you. You should be grateful I’m still with you
Say: I feel the need to put you down “to my level” to try to make you stay with me. I get insecure when I feel like you are better then me or have other options
Instead of saying: you never trust me it was only one time
Say: I worry that because I messed up I’ve completely ruined this relationship and your opinion of me
Instead of saying: you’re crazy!
Say: not being able to control your emotions scares me
Instead of saying: you’re upset over nothing
Say: I don’t understand your perspective but I want to know how I can help you feel better
Instead of saying: I was just joking
Say: it’s hard for to admit that I can mess up/be cruel. I’m sorry I said that. How can I fix this?
Let me know if you want me to do more of these
