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Am I mentally okay
*trigger warning*
I am sexual assault victim it happened a few years ago it was someone in my family and no one knows. I feel constantly paranoid and afraid. Whenever I hear his name I feel panicked. I always felt like I had to be the best for my sisters and mom. Whenever the abuse towards me would happen I would run to his younger sister. We would do things im not proud of, I think what happened to me is something I deserved. I now feel unmotivated to do anything. My grades and attendance is failing, it wasn't like this when i was in school my grades were amazing. I want to stay in that time before i started to feel like this. I cry at random times, i try to never cry in front of anyone even my best friend. She knows about my sexual abuse and helps me at times. I feel like such a burden I hear a bunch of voices in my head telling me things. I know I won't k1ll myself but at times I want to. I can't properly talk to people without being scared if they actually don't like me. I prefer to be alone and forever alone. I can't give love to people properly. I feel ugly and fat, everytime I try to fix myself it goes wrong. I also don't feel my body is right, I want to be seen as a boy but I feel that I can't because I like feminine clothes and cute things. I feel like a huge disappointment. If i was just my old self i would be more loved. I don't really think anyone is going to see this but writing it out makes me feel really happy thank you to whoever reads this ╹◡╹
its disappointing to see people calling OP a troll but OP i hope you have a trusted adult to talk to and you can be a boy while wearing feminine clothes! 1 reply
I’m sorry you had to go through this..Idk if this is fake or not but I’m trusting you.
First of all, you should tell them what he did to you. I know its going to be hard but the truth needs to come out so you can get justice. Its scary to open up right? Its ok, take care of yourself and take your time. And no, you didn’t deserve the abuse n...... reply
I know this is long, but please read this. I hope others see the point I'm making and stop accusing her of lying without evidence and proof. Believe it or not, it is unbelievably hard to come out to say what trauma you have been through.
Whether u are trolling or not, you need to see a professional. If your serious, I genially feel bad for y...... reply
You're surely more mentally okay than most of people jumping to conclusions in this topic... Mangago truly is disgusting sometimes -_-.
Try therapy, but it didn't work for me to be honest. reply
Some of you are so sure they're a troll, calling them an attention seeker. Why can't you keep an open mind. You don't know them personally so stop insulting them. Don't jump to conclusions reply
Sweetie go talk to someone who you can trust and let it all out. Go to a professional, just talk to someone and don't bottle it up. It'll be worse. reply
Hi, hello, I’m not sure if you’re still checking this post, but thank you for being brave in sharing your story. I know some people are not taking this seriously, but I know someone who have went through the same thing with you and honestly, opening up itself is already a very brave thing to do. First of all, I no one can say for certain whethe...... reply
People in the comments say that you are fake but in case you are not i want to try to help. Lacking motivation, feeling ugly, crying randomly are some symptoms of depression. And wanting to kill yourself and thinking about it (i dont mean thinking casually but actually making plans or trying to decide if it would be worth living) means it could be ...... 1 reply
why do you guys think the op is faking?? genuinely wondering btw. maybe they posted this multiple times because they needed advice but no one was answering? 3 reply
I think you need to find someone who you can talk freely about all of your feelings like you did. If you have/can have access to a mental health professionnal, it'd be the best. But for now, let me tell you a few words :
you never deserved what happened to you okay? It was never your fault that someoe else assaulted you, THEY did that, NOT YOU. Yo...... reply
