Uh Vent? Feel free to as well

I'm like literally so lonely it's not even funny. Idk why I'm typing this for validation to vent? Idk I feel like no one even really acknowledges my existence or struggles tbh. Like I tried to kill myself this month, my mom called an ambulance and everything and then everything just went back to the way it was, expected to still attend classes even though I struggle to retain knowledge this days. The biggest exams of my academic career is this year, dictating which university I might go to so yeah I feel so stupid, yet I still dont have the motivation to study. My mom just pretends it never happened, that or she asks, gets angry at me for trying to kill myself???? I'm supposed to go to therapy but my mom is opposed to taking me. Last time I went I was diagnosed with autism but she doesn't believe the diagnosis or anything. She didn't even tell me I just found out like months afterwards cause I found the paperwork Pleh. I was literally just chilling a minute ago and started sobbing so I probs needed to get this out or sumn, ik this isnt like therapy or anything.