uhm-

idk if i can talk about this here but I kinda of want to see the opinion of ya'll. So, my mom recently discovered that I was on my cell late even after she sent me to sleep, and she now takes my cell phone at night so I don't use it (she isn't wrong doing this tbh). But now I feel an inexplicable despair at night, my heart is racing and I start to cry having bad thoughts about the future and that I am not enjoying my life and a irrational fear of dying?? And bcuz of that I can't sleep. I thought it was okay if it was only at night, and that I just needed to endure it. But now I'm feeling that way in the morning too, I absolutely hate to feel this way. I related this to anxiety, I guess, but I wanted to know if it would be better for me to ask my mother for therapy, but I'm afraid I'm just exaggerating? I have no one to talk to about it. When I slept at dawn while using my cell phone, I was only sleepying when I am so tired to the point of just lying down and sleeping, without thinking about anything else. And the cell also distracted me. And I totally don't know how to ask for therapy either.

(Context: I feel that way for about 5 years, but this is the first time it's so bad, so- ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶)