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Am I in love?
Hello! My question may seem strange but until recently I was sure that I was asexual but now I don't really know anymore... Well, let me explain, I'm 16 and I'm a girl. I've never fallen in love with men or women and even more, I've never felt the need to love or to be loved. I have some really good friends and I was really happy with just that and the thought that I would stay alone my whole life never really bothered me... But last year, I started becoming more aware about a girl in my class. I don't think it was love, I just really wanted to become friend with her (and I succeed by the way, I'm her best friend now) but I didn't feel jealousy or the need to be always with her, just talking with her was enough for me. It seems that it was what's called a "squish". So until recently, the fact that I was asexual and aromantic was for me clear, but now I started having other feelings for a second girl in my class, she's also my friend by the way. The moment when I started having doubts was when I saw her in dress for the first time, while normally she only wears pants, and I thought "Wow, she's so pretty", and I can't explain why but I knew certainly that I've never felt like that before. And after I wanted to become closer to her, to talk to her more, to stare to her more in class and I started being slightly jealous but I never showed it cause I know it would be so annoying for her... And I know for sure that I will never say to her that I don't really know the feelings I have for her. I know it's more than just a really good friendship but in the same time, dating her is clearly not my priority. If she loves me then I would be greatly okay and I would be really happy of course but if she loves someone else then I'm sure that I will help her to date this person, her hapiness is the priority. She's really the first one for who I feel like that, juste seing her or talking to her on fb makes me happy but it's not like if I don't talk to her I'm really sad, and I don't specially need or even want skinship... Even imagining a kiss feels weird, it's strange isn't it? To sum up, I know it's more than friendship but don't dating her don't bother me. Can someone relate? Do you think it's love? According to you should I tell her what I feel? Honestly I don't know anymore, all answer is welcoming (づ￣ ³￣)づ
PS: I'm french and clearly english isn't my best subject so if I have made a mistake please tell me, it would help me to improve my level!
You are only 16. Open your heart and stay away from big words like
" asexual " "aromantic" etc.
Now you are in this age. Now you are trying to find your true sexual identity.
Do not put labels yet, just stay open and, believe me, when you truly fall in love you will feel no need to ask anyone. The majestic feeling will fill you from head to toes ...... reply
First of all, why do you assume that you are asexual?
Because you have no interest in love or sex while being already 16? Because other people already had boyfriends/girlfriends with 11?
I think 16 is quite young, you are still developing. As a teen I wasn´t that interested in boys and love either. My first time was with 23 or 24. So you shouldn´...... 1 reply
Are you sure it is not platonic/aesthetic love? I am a Asexual guy and I platonically love my guy best friend to death. There have also been woman that I found were pretty and cute that I loved platonically as well.
None of these things mean that I want a exclusive sexual relationship with them though. Even though countless times my feelings and...... 1 reply
From what I understand, you're more than happy with the way things are now. You're still young and developing. There is no need to pursue someone when you feel content with how things are. Leaving the whole 'label' business outside of the equation, I think you should just enjoy yourself and live the way you want to. Life and romance aren't stories ...... reply
Hullo chère collègue française lol.
Je te rassure, je suis un peu dans la même situation et c'est aussi la galère pour moi mdr.
J'ai 20 ans et il y a deux mois, une amie m'a avoué (enfin je l'ai tanée mdr) qu'elle avait un crush pour moi, ce qui s'est maintenant vraiment transformé en sentiments. Le truc c'est que je n'ai jamais reçu de...... 3 reply
Honestly, I don't think you're in love, I think you have a small crush on her and that this doesn't contradict your identity since there are a lot of levels of aromanticism.
As a biaro person myself I can say I felt some sort of crushes before, just to have the, disappear in a few months. Is ok to question your identity, you're still young and sti...... 1 reply
You could just be a-sexual which mean that you just don't want to have.... touchy feely time... I will say give it sometime, and then see if you still like her, like maybe 2 week's, or less just whatever you feel comfortable with. Then I would see if I like other girls outside of her to try and confirm it. Maybe you could have just felt different...... reply
