*cracks knuckles* get ready

Bugs. Well I guess bugs isn't rare, as most people are scared of them. There are even certain instances that some large ones look fascinating to me. I always say that if they look like pokemon, I won't be scared to at least look at them, but I'll still stay far away. For some reason, it's the smaller ones that really freak me out. I do recall seeing some video of a *ahem* certain bug with its uh....kids....and I was screaming and crying and covering my face. It was really bad. But even this, I feel like, is the lightest of my fears.

The second worst one is really weird where it's heights, but only when I'm not moving. You'd think I should be more scared of heights when I'm moving, but I have no problems with high rides like roller coasters. In fact, I really like them. But if I'm standing near a big window in a tall building, I'll start breathing weird and my weakass heart will start beating faster. It gets really hard to talk straight and I just stumble backwards so I can't see the height. This also applies to ladders and such. The process of climbing up a ladder is fine but stopping is very not ok and that's when I start freaking out.

Now the last one. Ohohohoho. One that people claim the internet created and therefore dismiss as not a real phobia: trypophobia. I don't remember if this fear ever had a name before the internet caught onto it, but I definitely had it since I was little. I don't know what this food is called, but it's kind of like natto I guess? It certainly looked and smelled like it, but it wasn't. My grandma used to take whatever this brown stuff was and shape them into giant cubes and leave them drying for a while. It's how you're supposed to prepare them, I guess, but they way they dry, they would crack and all over this cracking cube, there were things that looked like.....beans? Irregular vaguely round stuff. And growing up watching her prepare that, I would just hide in my room cause I thought it would kill me or something and I had no idea why. Then fuckin the internet brought to me - lotus seed pods. I FUCKIN HATE THOSE THINGS. HOLY SHIT. I scream and cry when I see pictures of them, I feel like they're going to eat me and steal my soul. THEY LOOK SO WRONG. Often times even artist sponges will scare me. A friend of mine teased me with one and I was trying so hard to avoid it, nearly crying in the store. He was surprised because he's never seen someone actually scared of that stuff irl. Now what's really bad is that I'm a barista. My job is to make fancy coffee. And half the time, the milk that I foam will freak me out. Sometimes the way the espresso goes into the cup and creates bubbles, will freak me out. Fuckin scared of coffee and milk bubbles now. Every time I make an americano or cappuccino, my breath starts shaking and I start whining like a dog. Luckily, we're changed to machines that automatically stop steaming, so I don't have to stare at it the whole time. UGH.