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20+ virgin woman - what to do.
Okay so how do I start? Well, I am 21 years old, bisexual, a woman, virgin and... insecure as fuck. 95% of my friends (or maybe 98 or 99%) already had sex. They are always talking about how being an adult means you always end up having sex with your crushes and it makes me feel even worse and more afraid. Most of them have no idea I'm still a virgin so sometimes I have to pretend I know exactly what they are talking about, which is kinda exhausting and makes me fear they will figure out eventually. To worsen things, right now I am developing feelings for a friend (we already kissed and sometimes it makes me feel like I have a chance) and I am hella worried about being a virgin. I mean, what if eventually he wants to have sex – he certainly will. I mean, he already had sex with one of our friends (lol this is becoming even more complicated, sorry) and he talks like he enjoys sex, so. Besides, what if he wants to have sex and I run away out of fear? I mean, it’s gonna hurt, right? What if I start bleeding on the sheets? Lmao. I am laughing like crazy because I am so nervous… I don’t know what to do T_T
Firstly NEVER let yourself feel pressured into having sex. If you truely feel ready to go for it, go for it, don’t just do it because the person you are with wants to. If that person can’t understand why you aren’t ready, then they aren’t the one. Secondly it won’t hurt if they take their time and prep you properly. It’s really more of ...... 1 reply
I am 26 and in a sort of similar position. I fear modern adult relationships because I believe they always come with expectations of sex. It gives me great anxiety and one of the reasons I've developed a bit of a relationship phobia. But I'm not a virgin just because, I am one by choice, it's not something I care to jump into, I'd say I even fear i...... 3 reply
Would it be that bad if your friends know you're a virgin ? My friends know I am and it doesn't stop me from talking about sex with them. (Anyway, at 21, I do know how sex is supposed to work. '^' )
Right now I'm not dating anyone, but when I will, I'll let the guy know I'm a virgin and that I want to take it slowly when the relationship becomes s...... 3 reply
hi there, first of all, calm down. Seriously, every single person is unique and you can't live your life like your friends do. If they already had sex, good for them (maybe, maybe not), think about yourself first, perhaps you should be more secure of yourself first and then try to be with someone, and sex is a big thing so you'll need to be sure if...... 2 reply
ma gosh do i feel you. also 21 bi and yup virgin ...in no way can i give u advice , just my pov x)
i feel weird thinking how well i have 'sold' the idea that i'm not a virgin to my friends...i tried ( still am) to avoid getting mixed up with ppl within my circles or go about joking how i 'starfish in bed' ...
bout the technical part there won't be...... 1 reply
Everybody pretty much gave you the the right answer but the one thing that stood out to me was "They are always talking about how being an adult means you always end up having sex with your crushes." I don't mean to offend you but that was really dumb. That's something that a child or teenager would think or say. When it comes to being an adult in ...... 2 reply
I understand that you are insecure about being a virgin and here on some of my thoughts.
1. If you are talking about sex on the premise of a relationship:
It's not just aobut sex. If the two of you share mutual understanding, feelings, and can communicate with each other well - then don't sweat, it'll work out.
I don't think it should matter if ...... 2 reply