Old lady pisses me off

(I say old lady because anything worse is not good and I don’t like to refer to my mom as anything worse)(but she is an old lady) I don’t have quora I’m very sorry but how to stop being mad at my mom because she annoys me esp when she said I wasn’t being obedient while I was taking a shit and somehow it got to her head when I said for her to wait outside like a normal person while I clean my ass that she should stay because I interrupted her to tell her to leave me alone because I want privacy and she said I washed ur ass since you were a baby and news flash o l d l a d y that people grow up and change their opinions and also want privacy and now when she tells me to sleep early I feel like I should rebel and sleep late cuz I mad but ik she gon wake me up at 7 to fucking excersise and if I don’t go shes gonna go batshit on me and possibly slap my ass off what the hell I want a relationship counselor and this is why she can’t be my free depression therapist because she also needs therapy her gaddamned self bruh. (Ps i said would you like it if I insisted on staying in the bathroom to watch you wash ur ass she said yes indignantly but if the situations were switched and she asked me that and I answered the way she did I’d get my damn mouth slapped off wth) She’s petty and I’m petty and also we’re both hypocrites but she somehow believes that she’s the right one always even though she says she knows she ain’t perfect for example she used that parent technique where she asks what if so if my children acted like me and as a what if situation I said what if I don’t have children then she got pissed at me and refused to further talk to me and berated me for being negative I swear that the next time she says I’m gonna get a stroke/heart attack form all the stress I get dealing with you I’m gonna shut up and give off the silent treatment because she’s being negative and she’s literally jinxing her damn self u o l d l a d y. Pls help me