tw: mentions of suicide & self harm

i wanna get help for real now.

i've been having extreme suicidal thoughts for the past few months, the self harming became worse as well. i even attempted taking my own life twice. i couldn't go to professionals bc i'm too scared to tell my parents, especially my mom, who was an emotionally nd mentally abusive fucker. it wouldn't be a problem if i'm not a minor bc i could go all by myself, but i am.

the point is, i wanted to at least tell sum1. i have these choices of ppl i actually trust, nd i want y'all to help me wd this one. please.
I. my bestest friend. although she's the person i trust the most, i doubt she'll be able to understand. she'll prolly jus try to comfort me nd tell me everything's gon be alright (which is not bad at all, but ion need sum shitty comfort rn.)
II. my aunt. we're not close, but she's open to everything. this is the person i wanted to tell the most bc i think she'll understand. the only problem is she always takes my mother's side nd i think she would prolly defend my mother if i told her she was the reason i was suicidal.

the least ppl i wanna open up to was my parents, so pls help me decide. i still wanna live. also if u could drop sum tips, that would help. thank you so much.