Cheer me up

Hihi!!

So... school has broken me :))

So I know my school year is ending in two weeks but two weeks is too much rn. I can’t take it anymore with my teachers. I’ve been so done with everything.

I’ve been breaking down more often and have been panicking for no reason because of the stress build up from school. I can’t even scroll through my YouTube homepage without panicking because I can’t find anything interesting to watch.

It’s just been so hard when most of my teachers are so passive aggressive. One of my teachers went “if you guys wanted a zero in your card, just tell me so that I don’t need to wait for you.” Then another keeps ranting saying “ugh what’s happening to these kids!” And if someone uses the chat option to answer, they would just blow up saying that they didn’t want us to chat our answers. This teacher is my advisor btw. They’re to two faced too.

She would tell my parents “Just a little bit more!! Please tell your children that there’s only little left before school ends.” Then she would turn around and tell our whole section how much better other sections from other grades are. I just feel so degraded and worthless. It doesn’t help that my grades have fallen.

The thing that’s been causing me so much pain was the fact that I got honors during the first quarter. So when I got a failing grade, mom kept telling me that my honors was gonna be wasted.

I was breaking down one day like any other day because my mom messaged me saying my two faced snitching advisor messaged her about stuff I haven’t submitted.

I love my mom but she’s a horrible empath. So when I was crying in front of her, she just told me “just finish everything and stop crying.” So of course, I was crying for a few more hours after that because it just made me feel more worthless and shitty than I already did.

I just hate my school. We have asynchronous classes on saturdays. That’s right. They made Saturday a school day.

Our teacher told us that it’s all our fault if our grades go down because we make our grades and if we don’t pass shit well you know what happens. But like. How can we not have late hw and shit when trigonometry, math and science homework come to 12 homeworks per week. 4 for trigo, 4 for math and 4 for science per week. And that’s not including our other subjects that give us 1-2 assignments per week as well.

Not only that but they have never tried to motivate us. Their definition of motivating is comparing us to other sections and telling us that we aren’t doing as good as them and that we’re so frustrating to work with.

The thing that threw me off the most for my grades to fall was when they gave us homework to do during Christmas break. All subjects. On break. And they were required to be passed the week we come back to school.

Everything’s just so frustrating. I’ve just been so sad and anxious for no reason.

Yesterday night, I was looking through my servers and lo and behold my heart just went boom and I broke down and cried myself to sleep.

School made me feel worthless and less of the person that I once was. I’m just a huge ball of sad rn...

So please give me something to help me cheer up. Be it mangas/hwas, images or messages, I just need something to cheer me up since even if school ends, the scar and trauma school’s left is so big and deep that it’s affected my life to the point that I panic when I scroll through any platform or get a notification from specific apps.

Thanks! Love you guys... I’ll check them all when I wake up. I need to sleep since there’s school tomorrow :’))

Baii - justarandomperson