confusion

i need answers cuz i'mma female right and a pan sexual one at that but my level of attraction towards feminine cis women is like at a 20 or 10 %, now to the confusing part i always find myself being more dominant and masculine. Instead of me getting fucked i rather be the one doing the fucking no matter who i'm in a relationship with with, i don't view man the way straight woman do i view men the way a gay top would for example i find myself attracted to they ass and viewing them being submissive to me and gay porn turns me on outta every other porn genre, now i thought maybe i was supposed to be a gay men you know but hell naw i'm constantly having the battle with myself where sometimes i wanna be a men and sometimes i don't it's so fucking frustrating.

and like i don't fully wanna be a men i just want my voice deeper and probably a penis if i can get one.

someone just please help me already. ლ(´ڡ`ლ)