do I love him or?

so, I have a crush on my senior who is 1 year older than me and he's that type of guy who is PERFECT LIKE FRR. you know The Phantom Thief Kaito Kid? my crush is exactly just like him which is really making me become more obsessed with him. but, lately I think my affection towards him become more weird like everytime I see him I really wish that he'll died in that spot and wishing that he'll get hit by a car or something like that.. I feel like I wish for him to died but at the same times I don't want him too. if I can, I want to choked him myself until he can't breathe and hit him with a hammer. I even have dream where I torturing him to death

so.. does liking him too much slowly making me to hate him? does I hate him or like him??