Over the past few years (during and after lockdown), I've had the most depressive state of mind. I was becoming more n more insecure, seeing pretty girls on reels n feeling ugly af. I know I am pretty, but then I was never able to actually accept that fact. Even if someone would compliment me, I'd just brush it off saying, "Oh, you're just being nice" n continue thinking people just lie to not be rude. I looked at the mirror n felt ugly, my body which is a lil curvy, felt like a whole whale fr... When in fact, I'm just healthy n okay... Craving male attention was also something I developed during lockdown. I didn't realize how badly I was treating myself; I would really pierce my wrist w a pencil to scar myself bcoz of how much I started hating myself. Isolation was really making me depressed n after my dad passed away, I had to really struggle a lot even more. I hated being born into a poor family n I hated everyone... I wanted to escape n in this isolation, I was dugging myself deeper into more isolation as I didn't want to let others see me in this state. I even failed to qualify for medical college n haven't been enrolled in college.
Fast forward a few years, I am now trying to love myself. I'm trying to accept that I'm okay n things will improve for the better... I'm okay w not getting male attention as what I crave should be more towards my career n ambitions. Focusing on my studies, prioritising my family n few loyal friends I have. Taking a break frm social media, not watching reels sm n feeling insecure bcoz the other girls r so pretty. Y'all also, besties take care of urself.. live in the reality n i hop to see y'all shine in ur career or whatever plans y'all have. I'm also studying hard to get into medical college this year. Hopefully the path forward is better than the pavements I've through through so far
Im glad you are on a much better place now. I hope you can get into medical school.
Social media can be tiring for sure, people just want to post only their happy moments there that make the viewers romanticize their life.
And dont worry about failure okay, its not the end of the world I promise. As Shinji Ikari mom said, paraphrased, "After all you are alive, you will have a chance to be happy. As long as there's still moon and sun and earth, everything will be alright"
+People will treat u, how u allow them to treat u. If u think ur worthless, people will also treat u like ur worthless. Leave toxic people who dun value u, n allow only goodness to enter ur life. Support urself n stand by what u think is right as there's no universal rule to what's right or wrong. People who disrespect u, should not be allowed to stay w u n hurt u. Set boundaries n appreciate urself, nobody is greater than urself. I repeat, nobody is better than u.
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Im glad you are on a much better place now. I hope you can get into medical school.
Social media can be tiring for sure, people just want to post only their happy moments there that make the viewers romanticize their life.
And dont worry about failure okay, its not the end of the world I promise. As Shinji Ikari mom said, paraphrased, "After all you are alive, you will have a chance to be happy. As long as there's still moon and sun and earth, everything will be alright"
+People will treat u, how u allow them to treat u. If u think ur worthless, people will also treat u like ur worthless. Leave toxic people who dun value u, n allow only goodness to enter ur life. Support urself n stand by what u think is right as there's no universal rule to what's right or wrong. People who disrespect u, should not be allowed to stay w u n hurt u. Set boundaries n appreciate urself, nobody is greater than urself. I repeat, nobody is better than u.