Was it both of us or just me?

So a few years ago i dated this guy at it lasted for a few months until he ended it with a text saying he wasn't ready for a relationship when he met me and that it wasn't him but me and me being in the emotional state I was and way too young to have been dating I didn't let it go and about couple months later I confronted in one worst way possible over text with my bipolar like personality that changed drastically and we fought and I felt that it was my fault that I chased him away causing him to brake up with me as soon as possible over text. But there were instances when I wasn't too sure. He always agreed to things. He bashed his exes a lot and there was a lot of them. His exes had things to contradict his words. He said things that didn't match. Is this me still not getting over this or was he really lying when he said he loved me? Anyways the reason I'm asking this is because, for one I'm in a better state than I was then and also a few months before quarantine He and I had a confrontation that was awkward but mostly confusing and I'm not sure if he wanted me back or not. To be clear I have no intention of going back but I just can't get over whether it was simply my fault. What are your thoughts?