so uhh help me? please?

hey uh so perhaps you have a sort of secret that you'd keep to the grave (not really to the grave since i've said it multiple times online). and you wrote that secret down thinking you'd be in your grave right? and then your family asks about it but you're just not ready to tell them? and they won't stop asking and then they try to take the only thing that is my will to live, ahahaha what do i do? how do i tell them? i sort of want/don't want to tell them but everytime i try to, a lump forms in my throat or i lie while smiling nervously. how do i not tell them? i'm just not ready. will anything change if i tell them?