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Saving Face
the entire concept of saving face just pisses me off.
i understand it as a concept when it comes to acquaintances/colleagues and such, where if you don't see someone much or are in a professional relationship then you want to show them only you're best side as you aren't intending to get too close to them. however, i'm from east asia (japan) where saving face even applies to your own family. i've spent a lot of time in the states and studying english which is why i can recognize this, but is it not strange to need to save face to your own parents and siblings? doesn't necessarily apply for me personally, but for example my family is always hiding who they are from their own siblings and parents and only showing their best side. i understand parents to an extent because of the generation gap, but your siblings? there's like this underlying jealousy and competition where you have to be the best, brag about your children and your life in order to save face and garner the most jealousy towards yourself. even towards their own friends. my mother is always telling me how to act when we visit and she never shares anything bad just always talking about others and putting herself in the best light while her friends do the same. idk if i explained it the best, but is this concept of saving face normal everywhere? i thought if you're considered close to your family and friends you would share everything not only trying to showcase the best
That's not only happened in east asia. It happen all over the world. I've seen many parents brag about their kids (like their job, company, position, even salary!!!). This phenomenon not only happen between parents vs parents, but also to their in laws, cousin, neighbors, even people they don't know that they met at airport. It also happen between ...... 1 reply
I think this sort of thing is in most cultures but, I feel like asian culture takes it to another extent. My family does the same thing. It is fine to share things to my parents but never anyone besides that, not even to my aunts or uncles. Whenever we have to visit family my mother will tell me what to say and what not to share, she even tells me...... reply
They say the Asian countries that have high population have high competition among people. People have to try really hard to be better than others to be successful in the society. Maybe all this tension and pretending and saving face is because of this. I live in the biggest country in the world with relatively small population, and there is littl...... reply
Southeast Asian here.
My family is also like that but it might be more of an ego thing than a saving face. You're not supposed to go around "airing dirty laundry" and you're supposed to give the impression that everything is perfect or even better than other people. You're supposed to act right, in a way that won't bring shame to your family. Bc o...... reply
Honestly that sounds super tiring and awful, being fake to everyone. In Europe, I feel like the norm is that if you're bragging about everything, people will say that you're arrogant and won't like you. Of course, it really depends your degree of proximity, but I really don't feel that everyone is trying to show they're superior. Of course, peopel ...... reply
