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Are these red flags or not
My sis is texting this guy and he's our cousin but we (sisters and I) have never really met him in person or ever talked to him because he lives far away from us. We (sisters and I) live in Cali and he lives like in New York or something. First things first, my family don't mind us getting married to our cousins. I don't mind either. This guy also travels the world AND he's in his 20s and my sis is 17 y/o. I don't really like him and so does my other sister.
So, my sister talks to this guy's sister and he heard my sis's voice or something and said that he likes her (or something like that) and wanted her number. He got her number and started texting her but she blocked him. But he got new numbers and always texts her with those number even though she kept on blocking him. He kept on doing this and finally they started texting each other. This goes on for a few months and he always says that he loves her and that he'll marry her. Then lo and behold my sis tells me she fell in love with him.
He came to Cali and oh...my...god...he is close to my (parents) house even though my sis never told him where we live. He took a pic and sent it to my sis and told her he has flowers for her. She refused and said she felt bad for refusing but me being me thought that was creepy.
redflags are: *He's an adult and my sis is a minor. *He knows where we live even though we never told him. *He kept on getting new numbers after my sis kept on blocking him. *He told my sis that he's gonna make her smoke when they get married. (he really said this) My sis is a good girl and she will never do that. (She said when they get married she'll make him stop)
But he probably is a nice guy because he helps the homeless people and I've talked to him once and he seemed nice.
After reading this, I'll answer as objectively and cautiously as I can, since I do not know you guys personally. But a twenty-year old should have no business with a minor, no matter if they claim that they are in love with them. Secondly, this "nice" cousin of yours could be like many other people who hide behind good deeds in order to conceal the...... 2 reply
Hello!
I completely agree with you, this guy does not respect your sister's boundaries, he doesn't even know her, but he says he loves her and he will marry her! Honestly it looks like he is grooming her to get her to agree to "fall in love with him"! And she is a minor!!!!!
Also, the fact that he has stalked your sister to get all the personal in...... 1 reply
This is absolutely red flags! He is stalkerish and sounds abusive. Honestly, I would even go as far to say call the police. He came across the country without permission or even any communication and found out where you lived. It doesn't matter if it is your cousin, that is frightening and not okay. And the fact that she is a minor AND his cousin. ...... 1 reply
Oh my goodness, please tell your parents so they can stop this, even contact the local authorities. If he's been doing that, he knows where you live, and that can have serious consequences later on. Make sure to screenshots all messages from your sister's phone which was and send it to yourself. Or email it to yourself.
Tell your sister to stop re...... reply
Listen to your gut. That guy is NOT a nice guy. He might be a psychopathic and manipulative bastard. Do not be fooled by his "nice" facade. Don't let your sister walk right into his trap. Make her see sense. He's not the kind of guy she thinks he is. 2 reply
Sis. These ARE RED FLAGS. One in particular is the one where he'll force ur sister to smoke. That is TERRIBLE because she shouldn't be with a guy who'll force things on her. Cuz next it might be sex and we don't want that. Please tell your sister to leave him and find another guy because he's not safe to be around. You should tell your parents abou...... 2 reply
Thank you guys for the advice I totally appreciate it. Even though you guys told me to tell my parents I won't tell my parents yet. But I'll tell my sister. Thank you again. I honestly thought I was just overreacting but I'm not. Also my middle sister also doesn't approve of this relationship.
UPDATE: I AM SO ANGRY!!! I asked my sis if she was go...... 1 reply
A similar thing happened to my best friend, she was dating a guy that was 19 years old while she was 15. After they broke up he wouldn't stop texting her and kept on getting new numbers each time she blocked the number. He kept on telling her that he loved her and told her he got hit by a truck so she'd talk to him. She didn't because I told her no...... 2 reply
You need to tell your parents about the shady stuff he's been doing. I know you care about your sister not getting in trouble but you might be putting her in more harm if you don't. If she follows through with all this stuff she may get into a very toxic and abusive relationship. Guys who go for minors manipulate them into whatever they want. It wi...... 1 reply
Um first of all, please tell me why y'all being literal cousins is not a red flag for you...because my dude, that is a b i g red flag
Second of all, this guy is obviously someone anyone shouldn't waste their time on romantically, much less his cousin who is A MINOR.
Third of, have you guys told this to your parents? Because if they won't to an...... 1 reply
